What do I do when I can't let go?

On December 11th, my boyfriend and I got in a fight. I said it was over. He just simply agreed. About five minutes later, he said he was done and didn't love me anymore. I begged him to go back to his old self. He said he did. On the next day, I wanted to check his facebook, so I tried to log in. It didn't work, so I checked his email for a password reset. I found it in the deleted messages. So I used it to go in and see what he was doing. There was nothing abnormal in the inbox, so I checked the sent messages. I found three "I love you"'s between him and another girl. We were on the phone at that time, so I just hung up. I continued reading and ignoring his calls. Two days before that, he was playing the "what if" game with her-- at the same time he was playing it with me. The first one he asks me is "what if I broke up with you?". But the ones he was asking her were "what if I loved you?" when I answered his call. I read it to him and asked him what it was. He said he was sorry and that she was just a good friend. I insulted her and he just stood up for her. Then he hung up and I called crying and screaming to two friends. One was on her way home and said she would come over in a few. I told everything to the other one. Then josh called me back and said he was done and hung up. Then I screamed. I went outside and sat on the driveway, waiting for my mom to come home or Cari to walk over. It was very cold and I had no jacket or shoes on. When Cari got home, I wasn't eating the dinner my mom bought. Her and josh got into a fight. There were terrible things said. On Tuesday after that.. Things seemed to go okay.. But he was acting obsessed before I got home. He was so angry when I talked to him, though the next day was our 16month anniversary. But we didn't make it. I went to his friend. He said that this was all because he was tired of the sexual actives in out relationship. I only did it because I thought it made him happy. But his friend said that he just fell out of love. So I went and talked to josh. From 3-6:30 in the morning the next day. My mom woke me up at 6:50 to get ready for school. It just wasn't good. During my favorite line dance in P.E. (not an hour after being in school), I ended up crying. I was thinking "I used to be so happy" . And I just stood there,crying in front of 200 kids in my grade and one grade below. My p.e. Teacher talked to me. I felt better for five minutes. But it just hurt still. But that day I was a "hit" at school. I was so funny. Now its Thursday. Josh and I are friends. But its hard for me.

things about my behavior lately:

I haven't ate dinner since Sunday

I have a small pizza on Monday and Tuesday

half a fruit cup on Wednesday

and half a burger today.

I didn't eat lunch or breakfast on Sunday.

I haven't had a dinner all week.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all darlin you need to eat more. No use in showing what he's done to you by dropping weight. He made it clear that he didn't want a relationship with you. I know its easier said than done but you need to move on. I don't mean find another boyfriend but you could just to make him regret losing you. Anyway use this time to reinvent yourself. Ask yourself what you couldn't do wth him around and do it. And don't give any sexual favors unless your sure they want it and make sure your happy first. Don't just do it to make him happy. Show Him you don't care even if you actually do. I know it hurts but it will lessen the awkwardness between you two.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Give yourself time to heal, & focus on positive things. Remind yourself why you are supposed to be letting go...

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  • dont be obsessive. he'll probably come back when he sees you moving on.

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