Would you consider it cheating if...

My ex and I are FWB. We broke up years ago so it really is just a sex thing. He has a new girlfriend so I stopped sleeping with him because I am not interested in being "the other woman". But I recently found out that when he first started seeing her, he was still sleeping with me (but I didn't know about her then). I was upset with him because he cheated on her with me. But he said he didn't cheat because they were not officially together. He also said that they are still not officially together (even though he refers to her as his girlfriend and its been 8 months) so we can still have sex. I told him I am done with this, because to me its cheating and I don't want to be part of it.

So I am just wondering, would you consider it cheating if you were seeing someone but not "officially" together?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, because his intent is to be with this other girl and he calls her his girlfriend. Put yourself in her shoes and try to think about what it could cause if they really do get together, plus 8 months is a long time for them to sort of be together. I would say to not continue sleeping with him, because it's not really fair to the other girl. Go with your instincts.

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    • I agree... that's why I put a stop to it. We actually broke up because he was seeing someone else behind my back... even then he said it wasn't cheating because they were never officially together either. It was hard for me to go through that, so I would never want to cause that pain. I already feel guilty it already happened even though I didn't know about her... because I know how she would feel if/when she finds out.

    • Gosh, this dude seems like he gets around! It seems like he just likes to use that answer as an excuse and thinks it will be OK. At least you are the kind of person that wouldn't do it on purpose like some other people. That's not fair that you didn't know. Guys can be crazy sometimes and will go to terrible lengths to get what they want.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Until I make it clear that we're exclusive, I make it clear that we're not.

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    • I have a feeling he hasn't made anything clear with her... and that he's just using the fact that they didn't have the official "are we a couple" talk to get me into bed.

  • yes. I bet he didn't tell his girlfriend he was hooking up with you at the time he met her. he wants you to be his mistress.

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What Girls Said 1

  • i think it's cheating and I don't trust him when he says it's not official. who knows

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