Trying to understand my ex?

so we were together for 3 1/2 years, he broke up with me 5 months ago, saying "he loves me, but not like he used to"

we didn't talk for 3 months, then in the last 2 months, we've been talking and hanging out.

i still love him deeply,

anyways we last hung out Friday night,

all we did was talk & laugh, he'd tell me how funny and pretty I am etc, but then we would get "close" to each other and he would shut down, be cold towards me, what does that all mean?

is there anything I can do to better my chances of getting him back?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's hard to predict these things but I do believe that you have to put your foot down. If you want him back and you give in to any time he wants to see you then you are on his terms and not yours. If you can handle being friends, by all means give him that. But I know how hard it is to be friends with someone you were with. You can't just go from being intimate to shaking hands. It just doesn't work that way.

    It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants and even if you're the best thing that ever happened to him, it doesn't matter. Put yourself in front of him as a friend and that's all he will see. tell him "I still have feelings for you and seeing you as a friend hurts me, do not contact me unless you want to be with ME" and follow through. It's the best thing you can do for YOURSElf. There isn't anything YOU can do to get him back for you cannot control his feelings or actions. What you CAN do is watch out for yourself adn determine what YOU want. If he isn't giving that to you and if you cannot handle being just his friend, move on and continue no contact. It's sort of like "why buy the milk if he gets it for free?" If you refuse to talk to him or hang out with him he will come back to you if he is TRUly interested in coming back. Hope this helps.

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What Guys Said 2

  • First off that guy does not know what the f*** he wants.

    I understand 3 and a half years together that's a long time. Hence my relationship with my current girlfriend for 4 years (we are doing well) :)

    But anyways, I believe the guy still does have feelings for you.

    But doesn't want to get too "close" if you know what I mean. He doesn't want to be attached nor you as well to him.

    i advice to just keep it as friends. Create a borderline. Alright you guys both love each other, but that is the past.

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  • There are a lot of things you can do to get him back, the problem is that everyone has a different situation for breaking up in the first place. Your ex is on the tipping point of leaving forever.. but you're doing the right thing for giving him his space.. this girl will help you close the deal ==> link

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What Girls Said 2

  • Defintely do not kick it up to friends with benefits. 'If you love him or have strong feelings still it will hurt if you don't get back to relationship status.Just keep it at friends and dating.Have fun and see where it goes. Do you understand why it didn't work out last time? What has changed?

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  • He must be a bit unsure of himself yet as to whether or not he wants to move forward with a relationship with you again.

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