What's the best way to get back into contact with an ex?

I'm doing this whole no contact thing for a while, and when I feel ready what should I say/do to get back into contact with my ex? Is it best to just start off with friendly chit-chat? And how long would you wait before initiating contact with an ex that broke up with you but it wasn't a horrible breakup? I do want to try to work things out most likely. A part of me doesn't even know if I should bother though... I'm going crazy haha. Too many questions going around in my head.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been in your situation. I'm actually in it now with the only difference that I don't want to get back together (our break up WAS horrible). But, there is ONLY ONE WAY to not drive yourself nuts over this. Do not contact him first. You said he broke up with you (so he didn't have a problem initiating that). If he wants you back, I'm sure he will not have a problem initiating that either. The truth is that it hurts to wait for an answer and to wait for a reply from him. If he's interested he will contact you back. You don't have to do a thing. Just prepare yourself, live your life, and don't sit around waiting for something that may never happen. Even if he contacts you, it may be because he wants a friend back and not necessarily get back together with you. Save yourself some stress and DNC him first...and DO not wait on him. I drove myself crazy thinking that this meant this or that and I was probably dead wrong. We broke up over a year ago and have not seen each other since. I don't think that means we're getting back together. Time will always answer your questions even if it's in the form of one LONG and SILENT Nothing.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I split up with my ex 2 months ago and believed NC would be the best way to go to make her miss me. It was 2 months and I finally heard from her. She initiated it with some old joke about something that reminded me of her. I must admit it did bring back old memories and did get me thinking about her.

    But in these 2 months of NC I have started to feel better about myself and really am not sure I want the drama of it all anymore. I mean an ex is an ex whatever the reason right? I guess what I'm saying is that NC does get a response as you don't forget the person or the relationship but after time and seperation you begin to realize that the split isn't the life shattering event you first felt and that you can go on without them.

  • Well, how long have you been in no contact? And how long was your relationship?

    • We dated for around 4 months. And we've been broken up for about a month but he has contacted me twice but it didn't really go anywhere... just kept saying he wasn't sure what he wanted. As of right now it's been a week since I've talked to him so obviously it's pretty early to start talking again.

What Girls Said 1

  • I agree with finallyelaine. A lot of people think that NC is a means of getting an ex back; a lot of those people end up disappointed. The point of NC is to get over your ex, and to give you time to heal. You can contact him if you want, but I definitely DON'T recommend it. Why? If he chooses to ignore your attempt, it will DRIVE YOU CRAZY! You'll end up having to start NC again; it's really a giant step backwards.

    I know it's really hard to accept, but anytime there's a break up, you should assume it's over. Giving yourself false hope makes it much harder to get over the situation; especially if it doesn't go the way you'd plan.

    • Ugh you guys are probably right. I'm just having such a hard time letting go. I really thought I had found the one.

    • I don't think it's easy for anyone. I'm going through the same situation, and have been through it before. It is really hard, but the longer you keep up the NC the easier it will be. I haven't talked to him in two weeks, and it's literally the hardest thing I've ever done. But it has made me feel better.

      I wish he'd get ran over by a bus some days, but that's normal, right?

      Lol, you'll be fine :-). If I can do it, you can too!

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