Why do men just break up with you without any valid reason?

My boyfriend of almost 4 months who I knew for 4 years, we worked together, broke up with me via text. When we first got together he was a lot more into me than I was. He had been divorced for 5 years and had a son. He introduced me to his entire family including his son within 2 weeks. By the third week he told me he loved me, that he had never felt this way about anyone, that I was perfect for him. We spent a lot of weekends together most including his son and everything seemed great. All he could talk about was our future, he would go around telling my co-workers and my family we are going to be engaged by Christmas, looking for new apartments etc. I was drama free, always went with the flow since his schedule was more complex than mine, I always was available to see him if he was free. We then decided to take a vacation to Disneyland with his son. That's when everything started going downhill. We were together for 6 straight days, no sex, and I felt like I was his sister not his girlfriend. I WOULD PLAY WITH his son while he would drink and watch football by the pool. When we returned he decided to go away with his buddy for the weekend. I never gave him any issues if he wanted to hang with his boys since everyone needs some space. Then I noticed he was constantly buSY, he still called and text the same as before but he wouldn't make steady plans the way he did before. The last weekend we were together ( 3 WEEKS AFTER OUR VACATION) and 3 days before Thanksgiving I went to his house with dinner for him, and he decided to eat and then sleep for the next 12 hours. I thought maybe we could talk and he did not say a word. We hadn't slept together in 1over a week and he didn't even try. I left and that afternoon I sent him a text asking him if everything is OK cause I noticed he was distant. This was the second time I posed that question, I had asked him a few days before and he said he was just really busy with work. He responds an hour later and says that I am a great girl but he wasn't ready for a relationship. I tried calling him and he didn't pick up the phone cause he was at a bar watching the game with his friend.. A man who was divorced with a kid, who said he wanted to give me the world, said I was perfect for him, was going to take care of me, all of a sudden couldn't be in a relationship and didn't even want to work or talk to me about it. I don't get it? HELP


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds to me like he is emotionally shallow. People who are emotionally shallow tend to do the quick warm up "You're perfect for me, just what I've been looking for, etc" and then as soon as there is a bump in the road, small or large, they detach and call it quits. It's easier for them to start out fresh instead of sticking around to work on it. They just DON'T know how. Sounds like my ex to a T. The first few months it was all about how great our relationship was and how he wanted me to meet his family and he mine, and then he just never got around to scheduling a time for me to meet his folks, months passed, and then one day he said he just wasn't "into" the relationship anymore and didn't think "it" could be fixed (still not sure what "it" was exactly).

    I'm sure at the beginning he thought he really did want everything he said he did, but he has shown what he is made of, and obviously doesn't have the capacity to follow the words (easier said than done) with actions ( real proof of commitment).

    Cut him loose, He has some growing up to do and you deserve someone who can meet you in the middle.

    • Thanks. I'm sick of thinking about him. I miss what we had in the beginning not the cold hearted man he turned into. I can't believe I didn't see that him trying to rush into things was just infactuation. I figured a man that has been divorced would have been burned and want to take things slowly. He seemed so sure that I was the one for him, that for the first time in my life I let my guard down. I feel like a fool. A man I knew for 4 years just played me.

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  • You said you were drama free.. so does that mean you were full of drama before?

    • No not at all. I usually just go with the flow. I don't see the point in nagging and bring unnecessary stress to the relationship. I was trying to do the right thing by this guy, be kind and generous to both him and his son. I don't get how he went from so infactuated and in love to not wanting to even try and save what we had.

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