- A few days
- A few weeks to a month
- A few months
- 6 months
- 1 year or more
Most Helpful Guys
It depends very much on how hard I’ve fallen for her. The worst I ever had it for a girl, I didn’t even have interest in sex with someone else for a year. And this was when I was 18, supposedly when a man is most virile. It’s had to imagine in retrospect, but that particular young woman hurt me big time. I’m very happy now, but way back when I met my current SO, this girl was still in my head.
I think it depends very much on the intensity of the relationship and the the individual. It has nothing to do if you’re male or female, and there is no “generally speaking” because every situation is so different.
Of course the answer depends on many variables pertaining to the last relationship, as others have expressed. But recovery styles are also variable. Some people takes months or years to recover from a break up while others may move on within weeks.
With my first serious relationship, I felt that I had been punched in the stomach and I thought that I would never recover. It was probably two years before I was in a decent condition to start dating again.
I got divorced in March, 2015. The marriage was falling apart for the last 15 months and I felt as if I had already grieved its passing by the time we separated. I went back on POF and had my first date a few weeks before my divorce was final. I dated several women but tried to not get serious until I met Miss Ivy in June.
At the time of the divorce, I did not feel any desire to reunite with my ex. The problems were insurmountable and, over the past year, she had killed all of the love that i had felt for her. I did not feel that I was being unfair to anyone by dating so soon, as I was very candid about my history. I could have sat in my apartment and ruminated but I think my recovery would have taken longer.
We never fully "get over" someone from our past. My ex was jealous and suspicious in a very paranoid way (and totally unfounded) and that still affects my relationships. I react very quickly when I think my girlfriend is getting jealous for no reason and I must consciously remind myself that she is not my ex who was crazy in this regard. So. . . the time will never arrive when you are "completely" over someone and you can't wait for that moment to arrive.
Most Helpful Girls
Never been in a serious relationship, but I'll use the two-week LD fling I had in high school as my reference. The day after we "broke up," I was more concerned about failing chemistry than I was about missing my ex or getting involved in a new relationship. I missed him for about two weeks, then got over it.
Now, a longer relationship would most certainly take me longer. I voted in the "few weeks to a month" category, however I'm also leaning towards a couple of months. Usually when I have falling outs with friends, assuming we've been close for a few years, it takes me a long time to get over it, about a few months, so I'd guess it'd take about the same for a serious romantic relationship. The less time spent, the less time grieving.
After a breakup you need time to recoup. It depends on how much time you were together, but generally you are not going to be able to move on in a couple of weeks or it becomes nothing but a rebound. Rebounds can become just that, you rebound all over the court and can never stay in a lasting relationship. You have to be over your old before you can move on to your new or you are just adding more to your baggage cart. I would say if you were in a relationship for over a year you had a lot invested. That doesn't go away quickly. It should take you months to be ready to move on because you have a lot of memories and feeling still. Don't rush it just to be in a relationship again. You need time to reflect and find out where it went wrong and how to do things different next time. Life is a learning experience that takes you 60 years to figure out. Don't try and figure out a failed relationship in a time span of a couple of weeks. You will be doing yourself, and whoever you rebound with, a favor. But this is just one girl's opinion who has been through a couple of rebounds and who is speaking from experience.