How soon after a break up do you typically feel ready to date again?

After going through a break up, when do you usually feel "ready" to move on and pursue other people? I'm sure it depends on the relationship and how long you were together, I'm just asking in general.
How soon after a break up do you typically feel ready to date again?
  • A few days
    Vote A
  • A few weeks to a month
    Vote B
  • A few months
    Vote C
  • 6 months
    Vote D
  • 1 year or more
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It depends very much on how hard I’ve fallen for her. The worst I ever had it for a girl, I didn’t even have interest in sex with someone else for a year. And this was when I was 18, supposedly when a man is most virile. It’s had to imagine in retrospect, but that particular young woman hurt me big time. I’m very happy now, but way back when I met my current SO, this girl was still in my head.

    I think it depends very much on the intensity of the relationship and the the individual. It has nothing to do if you’re male or female, and there is no “generally speaking” because every situation is so different.

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    • *it’s hard to imagine

  • Of course the answer depends on many variables pertaining to the last relationship, as others have expressed. But recovery styles are also variable. Some people takes months or years to recover from a break up while others may move on within weeks.

    With my first serious relationship, I felt that I had been punched in the stomach and I thought that I would never recover. It was probably two years before I was in a decent condition to start dating again.

    I got divorced in March, 2015. The marriage was falling apart for the last 15 months and I felt as if I had already grieved its passing by the time we separated. I went back on POF and had my first date a few weeks before my divorce was final. I dated several women but tried to not get serious until I met Miss Ivy in June.

    At the time of the divorce, I did not feel any desire to reunite with my ex. The problems were insurmountable and, over the past year, she had killed all of the love that i had felt for her. I did not feel that I was being unfair to anyone by dating so soon, as I was very candid about my history. I could have sat in my apartment and ruminated but I think my recovery would have taken longer.

    We never fully "get over" someone from our past. My ex was jealous and suspicious in a very paranoid way (and totally unfounded) and that still affects my relationships. I react very quickly when I think my girlfriend is getting jealous for no reason and I must consciously remind myself that she is not my ex who was crazy in this regard. So. . . the time will never arrive when you are "completely" over someone and you can't wait for that moment to arrive.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Never been in a serious relationship, but I'll use the two-week LD fling I had in high school as my reference. The day after we "broke up," I was more concerned about failing chemistry than I was about missing my ex or getting involved in a new relationship. I missed him for about two weeks, then got over it.

    Now, a longer relationship would most certainly take me longer. I voted in the "few weeks to a month" category, however I'm also leaning towards a couple of months. Usually when I have falling outs with friends, assuming we've been close for a few years, it takes me a long time to get over it, about a few months, so I'd guess it'd take about the same for a serious romantic relationship. The less time spent, the less time grieving.

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  • After a breakup you need time to recoup. It depends on how much time you were together, but generally you are not going to be able to move on in a couple of weeks or it becomes nothing but a rebound. Rebounds can become just that, you rebound all over the court and can never stay in a lasting relationship. You have to be over your old before you can move on to your new or you are just adding more to your baggage cart. I would say if you were in a relationship for over a year you had a lot invested. That doesn't go away quickly. It should take you months to be ready to move on because you have a lot of memories and feeling still. Don't rush it just to be in a relationship again. You need time to reflect and find out where it went wrong and how to do things different next time. Life is a learning experience that takes you 60 years to figure out. Don't try and figure out a failed relationship in a time span of a couple of weeks. You will be doing yourself, and whoever you rebound with, a favor. But this is just one girl's opinion who has been through a couple of rebounds and who is speaking from experience.

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What Guys Said 92

  • As you say it often depends on the
    (1) The seriousness/drama of breakup
    (2) The length/depth of last relationship
    (3) If coming out of long term, does rebound count
    (4) It usually settles down and you ask yourself out there again, the rewards can be great but the hurt can HURT a lot
    - For me from last break up to current relationship, no dating/hook ups etc took over 6 years because I was shattered by last relationship on a lot of levels.

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  • No idea. I’ve only just had my first serious breakup ~8 months ago and I haven’t dated since. It’s not like I’m awfully torn up still, I’m just not interested in dating right now 😅

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    • Yeah. Been almost 3 months for me. I've had some people express interest in me but I have zero desire to date. At the same time though, I do feel lonely sometimes. It's weird. Lol

    • Haha that’s just life in general I’m sure.

    • Lol yeah, true.

  • I usually get over it in a few days. The first day is obviously a write off, but soon after I tend to see pretty girls out and about (in general) and it helps me pick myself up.

    It helps that all my relationships have ended with me fizzling out as in by the end I’m rather bored of my “girlfriend”.

    If there’s one thing my dad taught me it’s that wallowing in self pity doesn’t help anyone.

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  • As long as it takes to stand on your own feet wo the need for a partner to take your mind off a past relationship. Your future should be clear. But hell that only took me 47 years to figure out myself. So have fun an live. It’s your future. No one else’s. Live life. But communicate!!

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  • I think it depend on why you broke up. If it was because of something like cheating, then it would take me about a year to deal with trust issues and depression. But if it was a more positive break up and we saw it was best to go our separate ways, I'd probably give it about a week or two.

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  • takes time or just end up doing silly things, I don't do rebounds,
    I have just started last month trying date again after being single for 2 years from a 7 1/2 yr relationship

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  • Probably a few months to several months depending on the relationship and time put into it.

    There's a difference between the time it takes for that relief I get when that weight eventually falls off my shoulders and the time I'd be open to being with anyone again. So just because I feel okay doesn't mean I want to see anyone for a while.

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  • I say six months but I cannot say. My last relationships with girls were toxic and abusive. You name it..
    I should have seen the signs.
    For now, I’m healing and hoping to find my first job this month! 💜

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  • I always think along the lines of, if we reached a point where one or both of us don't want to be with one another then it just wasn't meant to be. I'm good after the break up. Don't get me wrong where I didn't feel anything the whole relationship or it didn't mean anything. Just not dwelling on something that wasn't supposed to happen.

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  • It really depends... I once took about a year or so before I would consider myself fully over this one ex- that being said, we dated for three years through undergraduate, lived in a studio together for 1.5 years, and had talked about marriage and kids... so yea.

    Others I am ready within a few weeks if we weren't together for too long, or it wasn't too deep yet.

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  • Hmmm depends how deep the relationship was before. If I was totally in love with the person, than it would take a lot longer than a girl I was just getting to know and dating a bit. You can't put a time line of getting over someone like that.

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  • I ask you this. "Break ups or burn downs?"

    I personally have never had a "break up" so I gave you my average recovery from being shot down/completely destroyed.

    First time took me a year and a half to get over it. (That was a crush of 7 years.) Second time was a month. (She went back to her ex after two weeks.)

    I just kind of stopped trying at that point. Even when a girl attempted to flirt with me, I never noticed until hours later at that point.

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    • I know how you feel. It happened to me too. I personally never completely got over them. I mean, I still like them in a way, it's just not as intense and whatever problems I had with them it doesn't bother me as much anymore. It took me about 8 months to feel at peace with what happened.

    • @emmily2396 I'd like to clarify one thing. I've had a girlfriend, once. She ended up going back to her ex. Everything before and after that was a failure, each more painful than the last. I got used to the pain, so the delay between attempts grew shorter and shorter until I stopped trying. Subtract from 0 and you get a negative.

  • For me, many years usually go by before I am ready to try again. However, now that I am 41, and only recently dumped after 5 years, I am having pretty serious thoughts of giving up and just keeping to myself permanently. This last one is the worst pain in my heart I have ever had... it is more than I can bear to go through ever again. I just don't have the heart. My heart can bear no more wounds. I just can't...

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  • A couple days to a few weeks. Sometimes months depending on how emotionally connected I was. I kept getting hurt when they were sleeping around behind my back so any connection I had was severed in an instant. I have zero tolerance for betrayal.

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  • It depends on how attached and how close she work for me it's been 11 years I haven't dated anyone I'm still question whether I'm ready or not my friend said that she ruined a perfectly good man women are like that

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  • Well, my last ex-girlfriend was 14 years ago. I can't get back in the groove to get back in the dating and or relationship scene as of yet and I'm age 50 now.

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  • When I am emotionally ready, but generally within a couple of weeks. I recover quickly from breakups.

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    • Maybe that is why you are in so many with many rebounds. Do you agree with my assessment above?

    • @TrixiePooch: I think you made some great points, but most of my breakups were due to her moving or me moving while doing military service, joining it, or leaving it. I stayed in my marriage too long, and when you do that you have checked out emotionally by the time you split up. I also haven't had any really bad breakups.

    • It is understandable about being in the service. You have what seems like a 50/50 chance to make it work as many servicemen don't stay faithful when they are on leave. But I guess that can be said about their SO's too. I guess what you say about staying when it is already over is true too. Sometimes it's these types of things that you don't think of.

  • It can be anywhere from a few months to a year. In my case, to feel ready last time around it was at least 1 year and a half.

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  • It depends on how it ended and who.

    For the most part I’m ready in like a month or so. If she was really someone I considered married and she left me? Much longer sometimes a year

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  • It depends.

    If i'm the person who messed up...
    a) i probably don't care about that girl and i will start dating right away.
    b) i would take a break from all kinds of dating activities and try to get over it

    If she's the one who messed up i delete her from existance in my universe and start dating next second.

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What Girls Said 41

  • A year or more. I like to take my time and really improve myself. I'm not in a rush to date another person until I am fully healed and i feel good about myself. Also you should put yourself first for once instead of trying to get with another person and go through all that tiring responsibilities relationships come with. Take a break.

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  • I can date immediately because I get over things very quickly but usually I'm too loyal to the person I lost to give up on them as soon as they leave my life - I will wait for them to come back or change their mind. For me its about loyalty and not unrequited feelings or a desire for closure - I don't need closure most of the time.

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  • For me it's rare I fall in love with the people I'm with. The guy I'm work now is the first so I'm not sure how long it would take me for him, but for my ex's. Eh weeks but I never dated directly after out of respect for them and being picky

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  • want to fuck, cuddle, feel loved-soon after.
    ready for a new person in my life and heart-that depends on how my last relationship ended; was the relationship dead for a while, did I love them, was I cheated on etc.

    Personally, I've sometimes wanted to date and felt healthy enough to only a month post break up, other times I didn't feel emotionally ready until a year after.

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  • It depends not only on the person but on the reason we broke up as well. .
    I can't say for sure because I've had two ended relationships and in the first one it took me 4 years to start thinking about others, but the second one I already liked someone else after like a month and completely moved on after 6 months..
    So can't say really.

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  • 7 years and still not interested in pursuing a new relationship. Too much trouble... I simply enjoy the peace and freedom I have right now too much to throw it away for just anyone. Maybe someday I'll love someone enough to actually make me want be with him more than I want to be alone.

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  • yeh it really depends on what i felt for them. i was with a guy for 3 weeks and it escalated sooo quicly since we were so into each other and then he left to go back to england which we knew at the start- that took me weeks-months to get over before i started to date again. whereas i was with a guy fot likr 4 months and it only took me like 2 weeks lol
    generally speaking like like few days - weeks

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  • My mind moves on fast but my heart drags behind. So like i’m ready to flirt again immediately... but i’d still reminsce and miss what we had

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  • It depends on how the couple broke up and how serious the couple was before. I grew out of two of my fail relationship in college one guy accused of me cheating on him but I never ever cheated on anyone while in a relationship. my last fail I got forced to stay in a growing our relationship and he did put blame on me then cheated on me and I caught him and Dump his dumb ass.

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  • I think i feel ready when the desire to date someone else because you actually like them is stronger then the desire to date someone else in hopes the ex may get jealous or realize what he lost and want you back.

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  • Depends on how serious the relationship. Most of the time I'd say a few months but I've been married for 17 years so I'd want at least a year (or years) to jump back into a serious relationship.

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  • I'd probably have to wait for up to a year or more if we're talking about a long-term relationship.

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  • Last time it took me six months to go out with another on kind-of-a-date, but I still wasn't completely over my boyfriend. And then I got back together with him, so I have no idea how long it would originaly take me after a serious relationship.

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  • I was tempted to say: "Less than 30 seconds"... but it's not true... I grieve... and it takes time to get over the hurt... for guys it's easy: they've simply gotten their rocks off... for us girls: we've received them inside us... a bonding that no man understands.

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    • I am curious as If you really believe that about men, why would you want to be with them? That would really be too much if turn off for me. If I’m not going to date an intricate human being capable of wide range emotion, I’d just rather forget about it.

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    • Hmm inferring 😊

      I have a friend who is trans and she is more horny now but she’s not sure if it’s just that she has an easier time getting sex. As for emotional attachment, I think she was always the kind to love deeply though, either side..

      When you were a guy did you get over people you cared for very quickly?

      How long since transition.

      Funny joke, that😊

    • Also I hope my question before weight not come off as antagonistic. I was just curious.

  • I felt ready to date again after around 18 months but after two failed attempts and two years if singledom I'm beginning to question whether it's worth the ups and downs you have to go through to get to whomever you may be destined for.

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  • When I was single (years ago), it took a few weeks to a few months to move on. However, it very much depended on the relationship. Particularly, the 'type' of relationship.

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  • 6 months or more ! It's tough to be on your own again, depending what was the reason of the breakup and how long you guys have been together. But once the relationship is over, we do tend to be more depressed, confused, angry, so many mixed feelings. It's better to take some time for yourself instead of jumping on another relationship, just because of the fear of being alone. Take some time to heal yourself emotionally, live your life, focus on those people who are there for you. And then when you will be ready, you will know it, things will be more clear for you because then you know what you really want in the next relationship

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  • my standpoint on relationships is probably fairly naïve since i'm fairly young, but it usually takes me a little while to fully get over someone– about 1-3 months seems good for me now, but i won't be surprised if that changes.

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  • So far I've felt ready to date within a few weeks after, but the relationship would have been over ages before. That said I didn't date for 3 years after my first "boyfriend" but it probably has to do with my social skills

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  • My first ex? We were over long before we broke up. So I got over him in like a week. My 2nd ex took longer like 3 months before I would see anyone. My most recent ex I’m so turned off of relationships It’s been a month and No change in my stance.

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