He lives with his grandparents, (they're letting him live there for free), he works forty hours a week at a job that he hates, and most of his money goes to his iPhone and his car and coming to visit me. He doesn't have a bachelors degree, and is going to take it one class at a time. (He's 24 and only has an associates). He is an excellent cook, but every time he cooks it costs more than a restaurant.
Two months into our relationship he proposed and I (being silly and naive) said yes. Finally my friends and family got through to me that he was being abusive (isolating me from my friends, trying to get me to quit my job, pushing me too far sexually). I broke off all contact with him, but after a week I went back to him and we built a new relationship. Two weeks ago, he asked me to marry him again. I said yes . . . I'll eventually marry you, and then he went off about all the time we would miss if we didn't get married in six months.
My mom hates him, and wants me to go back to my old boyfriend.
He finally backed off saying that he would be okay with marring me eventually. But he knows that he wants to marry me, and I'm not 100% sure that I'll ever be confident enough in our relationship to spend the rest of my life with him.
Should I keep our relationship going towards marriage, or should I stop it to try to not hurt him as much later on?
Most Helpful Guy
From the details you have told me, it sounds like you aren't that interested in him. Two months (only 8 weeks!) is not very much time, at all, when you consider spending your life with someone. If your friends and family are trying to tell you something, you should listen, they are your friends and family for a reason, you don't want to lose them cause that can happen. You said that your friends and family, finally, got through to you about him being abusive, isolating and controlling towards you, that comes from important people in your life (those are very serious issues to think about, try researching types of abuse, cause abuse usually gets worse). Think about what you want, not what he wants. Don't worry about hurting him because you could get hurt, and maybe you already have been. If he proposed to you in only 8 weeks, it tells me that he is deperate, and that he is pressuring you. Aside from all that, your second guessing the whole thing, and your doing that for very good reasons. You shouldn't have to do anything you don't want to. When it comes to your question, I really think you should stop it and do what you did the first time, but this time don't look back.0