I just decided to get a divorce. The pain and confusion are intense. What can I do?

Anonymous
Our relationship has been hanging by a thread for quite some time. We have made many attempts to repair it. At one point we thought we had it. But it all fell apart.
We are both unhappy and unfulfilled. He denies it of course. But he seems happy enough around anyone but me.
Today I finally decided to cut it off with my spouse of 11 years, right after our only child's first birthday and our 11th anniversary.
I'm devastated and confused and lost and hurt. I can't believe it. I had never imagined life without each other. One minute I think it's just a silly fight. It will blow over tomorrow. He will make it up with some sweet promise he doesn't intend to keep, and life will go on. The other minute I think it's not a good idea to continue this life. I HATE thinking how either way, my beautiful innocent daughter's life will be far less than great or even normal. It cuts me to my heart.
I want to stay up and cry all night, but I will need my energy tomorrow, and he calmly played his video games, checked the news, and is snoring peacefully as if nothing has happened. He will ridicule me tomorrow morning about this.
This is my second attempt at separation in the past 11 years. I feel like if I don't go through with it now, I will not be able to take myself seriously again.
My main concerns are that he has repeatedly told me that I am not enough, whether it's about efficiency, mood, finances, life choices, relationships, work, food choices, looks, and even my natural skin and hair color.
All help is appreciated, specially regarding finances and childcare. I'm educated, but chronically ill. Too much physical and emotional toll isn't my strong suit.
I just decided to get a divorce. The pain and confusion are intense. What can I do?
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