I'm at a loss on what to do.
I was with someone for 5 months, not long, I know... However, we had a very intense connection and we were very good friends for a while before we were involved romantically.
During our relationship he was confused and felt we should break up as it was the best thing in his eyes. I didn't want that, I wanted to work on it but alas, it wasn't meant to be. (I think he rushed in from his last relationship, felt he just saw me as a friend even though he told me he loved me a lot, wanted to be with me forever, have kids etc).
We broke up in early August, and since then I have been a mess... He now has a new girlfriend which I am sure they started in October/November and he seems completely smitten with her.
He told me when we broke up that he didn't want me out of his life and wants to be friends. I agreed and we text each other every few days, it was becoming daily but has slowed down again since the new GF... I feel like he has used me as a safety net so he didn't feel guilty about the relationship break down.
Yet I still have some hope that he will come back to me, which I know is stupid. I have initiated NC 3 times already and each time he contacts me after 4 days or so, and I break down and reply to his messages.
Why is he doing this? I feel like he is keeping me around, even though he seems to 'love' this girl, I feel he hasn't completely let go of me - Or is that just me wishing and hoping?
He calls me sometimes too and sends me random emails from time to time, but it's mainly texting. I'd say 3-4 times a week, 5-10 texts each time.
I don't feel I am strong enough to break this connection with him, but I feel like if I don't - It will consume my life well into the new year and I do not want that.
I am almost 28 he is 24 if that helps. I just don't need this hurt any more and I need some guidance?
Most Helpful Girl
This exact thing happened to me a few years ago. We were friends before going out and when we did, everything changed. I will say you should take a step back and reflect; was the relationship as great as you think it was?
In my experience, my ex and I were together for about 7 months, and broke up and were off during the school year and on during summer/winter vacations...it was a vicious cycle. Eventually I found out from someone else that he started seeing a new girl without telling me; however he still thought of me as a really good friend and always talked/txt/superflirted etc, so I really had no idea up to that point. 3 Years (yes YEARS) later I was in the same boat, thinking he'd soon realize that he likes me more than his current girlfriend, and would leave her soon enough blah blah blah...but...then they've been going out for 3 years now...that's quite some time.
What helped me through it was to break it off absolutely completely. Maybe you're a stronger person than I am and can eventually get over it and stay friends (if so, good for you), but its up to you. I purged my email/txts/chat etc even took his number out of my phone so I wouldn't be tempted to reply or text him. I also let him be aware of how angry and hurt I felt being dragged on like that.
I'm glad you distance yourself from him now. Keep busy and don't reply/answer/do anything back. Even if he gets whiney and "cute". Stand your ground. If he really does like you in the way you want him to, he'd realize it when you're missing from his life. My ex still txts/emails every now and then. Oddly enough now, I have no feelings for him whatsoever now.
Best of luck, I really hope this helped!0