Am I being blown off?

I had plans with this guy whom I have a blurred relationship/friendship with for a while now. It’s complicated so I won’t bore you with details, but we made plans last night (at his request) but he ended up canceling claiming that he couldn’t find anyone to watch his son. He’s cancelled on me before for this same reason and several others, but what really irritates me is that I have to be the one to call and ask “are we still on for tonight?” (because you never know with him) and then he gives me his reasons for not being able to go instead of realizing he couldn’t get child care - so he claims, and calling me and saying “hey, can we reschedule my mother can’t watch my son?”. Is that too much to expect from a guy? He tells me how much he misses me and wants to see me and then low and behold he cancels. It’s frustrating. I can usually count on 8 times out of the 10 times he asks me to do something that he will find some excuse not to go. The real kicker is HE is the one that asks to see me not the other way around.

I just feel like he’s blowing me off and wish if that was the case he’d stop asking to see me alone “just me and him” instead of with our group of friends. I can handle it, but I hate games and that’s what it feels like he’s doing. I feel like “he’s just not that into me” but we’ve been friends since we were in college so never speaking again isn’t realistic since we have mutual friends anyway. I try to keep things actually friendly and he’s the one turning the tables on the dynamics even when we agree to be – just friends. My interest in him is more than just friendly, but he has some issues with his ex-wife that make me want to stay far away from him but he always ropes me back in and it’s been going on for years now.

I know his mother fairly well and I’m tempted to call her just to chat to see if she mentions if she is went somewhere last night. I won’t but that’s how bad I want to know. I’m just fed up with feeling like I’m being lied too.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow, I would definitely avoid the you, you sound really creepy and desperate. Good thing the guy dodged a bullet.


What Girls Said 1

  • The writing is on the wall, hon. Your insticnt that you are feeling now is what is true. he is not that into you at all and loves to play with your emotions because you have been letting him all this time. Guys like this don't care about women;s feelings and game you like this as a way to boost there ego ,makin them feel like they are all that because of a girl there aren't even into is chasing them. yes you are by allowing him to cancel on you every time and you still deal with him. So he likes the fact that he feels he is in control. Stop makin yourself so available is problem number one. No guy likes a woman who is solely dependent on him entertaining her. Even if you don't have plans, sometimes say No. Its OK. Guys want to feel like you have a life too or other things planned as well. Overall, you already what he is about and that is nothing. He is toying with you and its time for you now to just squash it with him. No more plans or anything cause he is constently disappointing you and confussing with things he says. Don't buy his words, buy his actions ok?

    • Thanks for your answer. I do tell him "no" sometimes, I'm single with no kids so I go out and do things with my friends (that are also his friends) a lot. Its not as if I sit by the phone waiting for him to call. He texts or calls every day any way, but you're probably right it needs to be "no" all the time I guess. I guess I need to try to get him out of my life, he's pretty much ruined every relationship I've had in the last few years anyway. I guess the whole thing is unhealthy.

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    • Thanks. I've read the signs, but only one fits. I know his whole family. In fact when his sister gave birth last week he came to my house in the middle of the night and drug me to the hospital with him. He calls and texts all the time. Its just the canceling dates part. He does have a son that he has full custody of but the only sure fire way I will see him is if I take a guy with me out to meet my friends then he's there making things as uncomfortable for me as possible. I guess its just games.

    • yes its games and you do not have time for that.

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