Do guys really get over their ex girlfriend by having sex with another girl after a breakup?

Last night, I broke up with my boyfriend last night because I told him I still have trust issues and so I keep thinking he's cheating/talking to other girls
And so I felt like there's no point in being in a relationship with someone I don't trust
I said "I love you but I don't trust you, so I have to let you go"
I cried and he hugged me
He said "its okay, do what you gotta do, hope you find that right guy that you will trust, sometimes you gotta let someone you love go, but I will miss you"
And then I left and blocked him on all social media

Then this morning, he sent me an angry message saying this:
"Hey this is last message, but I wanted to say that... I can't believe you never trusted me, we have been together for over 2 years, all women are the same, always treat guys like shit, I tried to be a changed man, I did all the right things for you, I never cheated on you but you still never trusted me, so Im going to go back to my old f**kboy ways now, I already set up a date for that girl that likes me, and I'm probably going to f**k her tonight, I thought you were different to all the girls I've dated but I guess I was wrong, I really loved you, I can't love anyone else after you, so I'm just going to treat girls like shit, I don't give a shit anymore, so have a good life"

Im confused
Why would he send me an angry message when last night he hugged me when I was crying and saying its okay?
What the fluck? :\
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  • No
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What Guys Said 31

  • He's hurt that you dumped him so he's playing a game with you, trying to hurt you back.
    If he could contact a woman and set up a meeting to fuck her that fast after you broke up then maybe you had a reason to worry about him.
    You're allowed to move on if you don't trust someone.
    He's allowed to do whatever he wants now, but the fact that he's rubbing it in your face just seems like a tactic to get a reaction out of you.

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    • 4d

      Why would he send me an angry message when last night he hugged me when I was crying and saying its okay?
      Why didn't he get angry at me when I broke it off instead of sending me an angry message? I don't get it

    • 4d

      Because he probably didn't think you were serious last night. He thought if he just kept his cool maybe you would come around and you two could talk it out and you would probably stay.
      I think he had a bit of time to think and the reality set in that he can't control this and you might really be done.
      He got scared and angry and decided to try a different approach.

    • 4d

      yeah. but he showed his true colours. major backfire...

  • I bet your emotions go up and down but you want to think that a guy has no right to having similar.

    Anyhow, he wants you to know that he’s not desperate & he’s done with being treated like a criminal by you.

    You can only push a guy so far before he snaps.

    As far as sex... most guys have urges. It’s like a drug. If you’re dumping him he has no reason not to get his fix. The only reason for him to wait would be ideas like: you’re worth all the hassle, he needs a 100% break from women

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    • 4d

      Also agree with the guy who said your ex is just trying to get you to show that you want him. But eventually he will enter the phase of really moving on.

      From a guy’s POV a guy’s needs/wants are very simple while women need tons of attention.

    • 4d

      Why would he send me an angry message when last night he hugged me when I was crying and saying its okay?
      Why didn't he get angry at me when I broke it off instead of sending me an angry message?

    • 4d

      Females are (often) raised to tap into all of their emotions & show them without a filter. When you were a little girl, if you started crying, adults said, ‘poor baby. Want some ice cream’. When the guy started crying he was told to toughen up, ‘stop being a pu**y’... he learned how to hide his emotions because 1.) nobody gives af, 2. He’ll get mocked, 3. Society & females expect him to be ‘strong’, ‘supportive’.

      So he might not even be consciously aware of all of his emotions in the moment. He did not grow up learning how to express it all whenever he felt like it. He needs time to even really know what he feels sometimes. And also to figure out how to express it.

  • He was feigning his pain. Now he's letting you know how he really feels and he wants to guilt trip you.
    Some guys do, but I don't think this goes for the majority that actually have a rebound so quickly. Men are people too and losing a romantic relationship they enjoyed having and possibly needed can greatly hurt them emotionally.

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  • No. Tried before. You still miss your ex it's just easier to move forward with somebody in your face that's not her but one night doesn't change your two years.

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  • Yawn.
    He was hurt so he got angry. What are you confused about.

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    • 4d

      Why would he send me an angry message when last night he hugged me when I was crying and saying its okay?
      Why didn't he get angry at me when I broke it off instead of sending me an angry message?

    • Show All
    • 4d

      Don't you love women who want men to bend over backwards to accommodate their emotions but they make zero effort to understand us?

  • About his change of mood, its part of the mood flood of a crisis.
    Level1-> negation
    Level2-> rage

    About what is he gonna make from now on, its complicated, but I dont understand either why you stayed with him 2 years without trusting him.
    Why you cut with him just now?

    Why do you mind he fucks other girl if you have cut?

    I think that your real worries are behind those questions.

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  • So let me get this straight. You have trust issues... You projected those trust issues onto your boyfriends of two years. Do you also project those trust issues onto others?
    Sounds like he was to good for you to be honest.
    Your mental state really fucked up
    Glad he is moving on and doing what he want instead of trying to change for an ungrateful, nut job.

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  • I would say that quite a few would. He's going through the dtages of a hard breakup, which includes but is not limited to Extreme Anger and Depression. So... Stay away from him for a bit? Or offer to support him emotionally? Polar opposites but one of them has to work.

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  • I mean you pretty much set that scenario up by accusing him of cheating constantly. Actions have consequences.

    And get over yourself. You broke up with him, where he puts his dick is no longer your business.

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  • its not a yes or know answer, but your trust issues contributed to the break up.. I obviously loved you and you broke his heart. He is angry. is he going to fuck somebody? who knows.. buthe wanted to hurt you back, that much I know.

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  • I don't know never did that. He sent the message because you never trusted him. That can hurt but maybe you had your reasons. Just make sure the trust thing is not an issue you have and are putting on your SOs.

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    • 4d

      Why would he send me an angry message when last night he hugged me when I was crying and saying its okay?
      Why didn't he get angry at me when I broke it off instead of sending me an angry message?

    • 4d

      Because he wasn't angry before but now that he has been thinking. He's hurt

  • I think we ALL need one vital piece of information

    Did one of you cheat during the relationship?

    The facts of the case are important.

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  • He still likes you and wants you to feel guilty. To be honest it's emotionally scarring to lose some that you gave things up for but this the circle of dating life. Good luck.

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  • It's a coping tactic that is somewhat useful but yeah the break-up is 100% your fault and you have no right in question his own coping tactics.

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  • I would imagine if that was the case then that person hasn't had feelings for the other for quite some time

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  • He loves you even if he sleeps with that girl he ia going to miss you.. maybe he turn like he said fuckboy but he"ll surely miss you

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  • He's hurt and kind a revenge

    Its not the thing some people try to stay low

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  • It's because, in the moment, your needs were more important than his. So he hugged you and comforted you despite having his heart just shat all over. Then, after he had lots of time to think about what just happened, he probably just got really angry and frustrated. He tried to be a good boyfriend and what not but that still wasn't enough for you. He felt that whatever he did wasn't enough so there's no point in trying if a girl's just gonna say "that's not good enough" and then break up with you because she "doesn't trust him". So if that's how women behave then there's no point in trying and he's just going to use them for his personal self-gratification. No emotions. No love. No connection, because after he loved you and it wasn't enough, there's no point in trying with other girls because he'll never be enough. You hurt him bad.

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  • First. He probably lying saying that to get even. Making you sad. Depress. Bla bla bla. He could be telling truth he found someone. If he did. It probably showed his true colors.

    But to your question. No. Unless he cheating already and needed an excuse.

    Me my experiences. After break up. Few of my ex found someone few days later. Or broke up with me without saying. One I caught but I played it off. And still enjoy the night where I normally hang. Not going to let ex stop me going where I hang. Long story short. She left with her new friend lol. But another. I fig was cheating on me. Another story.

    In all. My experience with guy talk. 3/5 have back up fuck or already cheating or something. My opinions course.

    After break up: about anything goes. Players sure. They don’t give a duck. Each case different. But it’s no different then women. After few broke up with me already doing or dating another guy. Not good feeling being played

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  • Only time can heal someone when it's someone they cared about.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Wow. Hmm...
    This dude was certainly unworthy of your time. His behavior is just completely childish in every single way.
    I guess some guys are like him but there are literally billions of guys out there to choose from. You did the right thing by cutting him loose. I get that he’s hurt but... he’s acting like a five year old throwing a tantrum. That text was completely unnecessary. He just wants you to feel bad. Whether you give into that or not is completely up to you.

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  • He may get a temporary fix but ultimately you made the right choice to move on. Nobody who is in love would say the things he said to you. That was all just lashing out stuff. to keep communication alive. But beyond his reaction and threats, why is it that you didn't trust. Did he ever give you reason to not trust him or was this due to some past relationship of yours or his?

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  • No, that's just what people tell themselves because they buy into the "time heals all wounds"-quote, when it's unfortunately really not that simple. It's a popular coping mechanism to just procrastinate processing the event rather than to actually get over it though.

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  • Well then, he's setting himself up with a girl who really isn't going to give him anything serious. Go figure

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    • 4d

      Yeah he said in the message that he's just gonna fuck her and thats it.. Not date her

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    • 4d

      I think it might've been too shocked for him to accept, that was why he reacted like a gentleman, but deep down inside he was hurt.

      I think you hurt him deep, from what he said to you... He loved you and never cheated on you (if what he said was true) but he was offended and hurt that you did not trust him, also considering the length of time you'd been together.

      Um, I think it was kind of your loss, but then he set himself up with a girl whom he probably will not trust and cannot trust. However, I think if he had let you know his thoughts right at the moment when you mentioned breaking up, your relationship may (or may not?) had been salvaged. If you would've believed in what he said, had he expressed it, you would not have to worry about him cheating and would've known that he's trustworthy, depending on how much your trust issue is.

      However, if he loved you, how did he turn back to his old f*ckboy so quickly after a day or two?

    • 4d

      Had you brought up your trust issue when you were with him? How did he react to that?

  • I honestly think it's made up. He's most likely trying to see your reaction.

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  • Because it probably really hit him after (the feelings) and it sounds like he was a hoe before but now he’s become even more of a hoe now simple.

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  • We have a saying ( To get Over one guy you have get Under another ) so why dont they do the same

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  • He’s hurt and wants to hurt you back.

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