I really want to break up, but I can't find myself to do it.

So my guy claims to need me like air and food. That he loves me more than I'll ever know. ETC ETC but there's a lot that I don't like about him. He says that I'm his life, that he couldn't live without me, that he has become really attached and that he likes me more than I know etc etc... but I really don't think of him in a nice way. I pretty much hate him and wish he'd be out of my life and DIE. yeah, I hate him I think. But there are reasons why I hate him. 1. he's not over his ex and it's super obvious that he'll never be and 2. he never does anything I ask him to do and I'm sick and tired of asking him to do it (like he puts his video game time first over me, over everything and everyone).

So I am sick of him and I don't understand him. I think he's a liar, a manipulative sob, a whore, a pothead, and a person with very little morals and self centered who can only think of himself and his happiness.

I really can't find myself to break up with him because:

1. society will look at me as a loser, and he is my first and ONLY ever relationship

2. We have financial ties... a lot of it

3. We have living arrangements that are pretty stable

4. If I leave him I'd lose my job

5. My reputation from all my friends/family will go way way down, I'd never be able to show my face.

What shall I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • the easy way out of this is to tell him to give up stuff you know he won't or you walk. like the pot and video games.

    either he then changes, or you have an excellent excuse to get out (not that you ought need one other than you are unhappy). when he starts his whining or if people ask questions, tell them you just couldn't put up with the drugs and his laziness. All of which is true. it gives him the chance to reform and prove how "important" you are (as opposed to just saying what seems to be shallow words) and it that doesn't work, well, no worries, plenty of better men out there.

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What Guys Said 1

  • wow I feel terrible for your boyfriend you seem like a **** to the max

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What Girls Said 1

  • You are in a tough spot. Your honesty is real and I believe it. You have to either make this a better situation or walk away from him. Your boyfriend sounds like a master manipulator and he may not be willing to change. I would just be honest with people and tell them I'm not competing with his ex anymore. How do you know he's not over his ex? Give some examples. Sounds like with the drugs,laziness and constant focus on his ex he wouldn't be willing to go to counseling with you.Have you tried talking to him and telling him you are starting to resent his behavior and the eway he makes you feel? Unemployment is not so bad, lawyers are there to split property (legal aid if need be) and I hope youhave a girl/guyfriend to stay with while you transition out.

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    • -he wants to treat me just like her and wants me to act just like her

      -he talks about her a lot, and mentions her name and what they did or did not do (compared to me and him)

      -he goes into tiny little detail of how they had sex, how she orgasmed and when and how much they had sex

      -he talks about her non-stop when he gets the chance and when I allow him to

      -he talks just like her, he acts just like her in some ways

      -he wants to do everything like her, dress like her, smoke pot like her etc

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