Why would anyone think it is okay to cheat?

Why would a guy/girl think it is okay to cheat? I've met people who don't think cheating is wrong, & it baffles me.

This is why I think it is wrong:

1) It will hurt your partner if they find out

2) You could get STDs & give them to your partner

3) You could get pregnant or get someone pregnant

4) The Golden Rule, treat others as you'd want to be treated

5) It is morally wrong, if it wasn't, you wouldn't have to hide it...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • They're selfish. My heart was destroyed by cheating women and I find myself unable to fully trust again, and without full trust you can't fully love :(

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    • I'm sorry. Cheating is cruelest thing a person can do to another human being. I don't know why so many people do it & how they do not feel any remorse...

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    • You are right on. There are many women who also feel like they can't trust the opposite sex not to cheat, so choose not be in a relationship. As painful as it is, I think it's worth it if we happen to find the right guy/girl. Some people, myself included, are just scared to take the risk.

    • I am one of these women who choose not to be in a relationship for fear of being hurt, cheated on, left for someone else, abandoned. To totally trust someone, especially when they ask you to, and then for them to turn around and betray you and not feel any remorse. I can't deal with that again, I was destroyed and I'm terrified. Cheating ruins lives.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • People who cheat choose people who never cheated. That tells you something. Does it not ? Immaturity is definitely evident in cheaters. Noone wants to admit they are "bad". It would feel too "bad". There is no morality when it comes to essential needs and for many attention, instant gratification and approval of the many over the acceptance of the right one is more exciting. Cheaters are consumers of affection NOT givers of affection. Think of the person who owns one car he or she loves to drive versus the other peron who owns 3 cars he rarely drives on top of the one he or she does. What is the point of owning something that one does not use. That is what cheaters do with their emotions and inability to be self satisfied with who they are, who they know and what they need at any impulsively given moment. Of course cheaters do not admit these realities until someday they do care and someone cheats on them but my advice is remember that cheaters never win because they have to see themselves as they are when they look in the mirror. they can lie to everyone around them but much harder to lie to onesself when alone. Know what I mean?

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  • I've known a few women about who I said 'If I was their husband I'd cheat on her at every occasion'

    My wife never triggered that reaction in me. I tell her I love her several times a day and it's sincere.

    But sometimes I'll see a nice body or face and think about Keats:

    A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:

    Its loveliness increases; it will never

    Pass into nothingness; but still will keep

    A bower quiet for us, and a sleep

    Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.

    Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing

    A flowery band to bind us to the earth,

    Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth

    Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,

    Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkn'd ways

    Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,

    Some shape of beauty moves away the pall

    From our dark spirits.

    Read it all here: link )

    I'd think :

    "That one would be hot to spend a night with and enjoy the morning wood too or -even better- to take on a holiday with long siestas." and I just dream.

    That's where it stops. But I'm human.

    Nuff said.

    BTW

    The idea of having each a sexual vacation, -no questions asked- once a year or once every two years sounds tempting. I never met people doing it.

    -I met cheaters and swingers.

    -I met spouses who accepted that their husband had a mistress or paid a hooker

    -I met men who knew but didn't ask about their wife's lover(s)

    But the idea of two weeks 'interruption of marriage' just for sexual fun seems very rare. (I suppose that those who do it won't tell about it)

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  • it's not OK to cheat on anyone ever. another reason why people suck, their ability to betray a SO is appalling.

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  • good points although I disagree with points four and five...

    reasoning= 4.) many people are willing to have open relationships in which they are with each other in name and love to be with the other and talk to them etc, but like the girl or guy has different sexual preferences, they fullfill them elsewhere

    5.) people who believe in evolution would be against this seeing as all other animals do it, hardly any animals are monagomous thus why should we?

    but I think if you're in a sexually monagomous relationship wth someone and you cheat well that's bad and disgusting

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    • In responce to #4, if they were not in a monogomous relationship, it wouldn't be considered cheating, so that is invalid. I'm talking about people who are actually in a monogomous relationship, they should follow the golden rule. As for as #5, regardless of what people believe in, I think everyone knows deep down cheating is wrong. We are not animals, we feel things & we have a conscious. That is what seperates us from all other living beings.

    • *conscience, sorry

    • ehh, I agree, I was tryin to give anothers point of view... my dad cheated on my mom and I see ho many lives its hurt

  • People fall for each other regardless of any 'rules.' In romantic flings, rather than for money, usually the people involved aren't normally promiscuous so there isn't a whole lot of danger of STDs...Pregnancy is up to them as in any relationship.

    It's normal for this to happen in life, and often there is NO way to fight it!

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    • A lot more people get STDs then people realize. It's actually very common & if you can get STDs, you can definitely get someone pregnant.

      By the way, you can always help it. I have yet to cheat on anyone, & it's not because I can't find smoeone to cheat with. If your feelings change, do your partner a favor & dump them. Don't do something so cruel & vicious just because "that's what your heart wanted."

    • it's not cruel or vicious to fall in love. Happens in life. SHOULD happen in life.

    • It is cruel & vicious to CHEAT, not fall in love. If you fall in love with someone else, dump your girlfriend. It is just selfish & sick!

  • It's a difference in values i.e.: sense of right or wrong.

    I know people who think it is absolutely stupid for someone who notice that you accidentally drop your valuable (like money) to return it to you instead of taking it. Some people think that it's OK to cheat the government because they think the government (that they elected, nonetheless) is pure evil corrupt bunch. Some people think that kicking, slapping, pushing and spitting on their wifes are warranted if the wifes make them angry.

    All of those people, including cheaters have somehow justify their actions or believes. Twisted as their reasonings may, but they sure as hell believe them.

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    • Yeah, those people are messed up...

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    • This has nothing to do with your comments, but I just wanted to say I like your screen name "Whistling Dixie" :D

  • I don't know why anyone would think that. It's definitely not OK. You would have to have no conscious to think it's ok.

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  • I'd be okay if someone cheated on me, as long as I got a sincere apology, but since girls are incapable of giving that, cheating is f*cked.

    I would never want to cheat because I'm not a polygamist. I can only love one person at a time.

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    • I understand what your saying. If a guy was truly sorry for cheating & wouldn't do it again, I would take him back. But in all other cases, I'd be out of there. It's good that you wouldn't cheat, it shows a strength in character, I am the same way of only being able to love one person at a time. I think some of the problem is that some people don't need to be in love to have sex, & dont' consider it a big deal. But it's a big deal to me, & if you can't be faithful, I say don't date.

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    • Yes, I liked the last comment too! Right on Eddy!

    • Thanks guys. I would've commented on his answer, but you know how oversensitive/retarded pussies are. I got blocked by him a loooong time ago.

  • Because some people are just touched in the head.

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  • I'm going to assume for definitional purposes that you are defining cheating as occurring in an expressly monogamous relationship, as there are many, many relationships that are "open."

    Here's a hypothetical for you: a woman loves her husband very, very much. She wants to stay married to him. She provides for him. However, he is unhappy because he's unsatisfied. I'm not talking about a scenario where they sleep together 2x a week and she'd like 3x; more like she's edgy, frustrated, and totally unsatisfied. Maybe he isn't good in bed and cannot get better, or she has a fetish for something that he just can't be comfortable with. He will never give her permission to cheat, and she doesn't ask.

    If she stays with him and doesn't cheat, she will be miserable and it will physically impact her well being as well as impact her job performance because she's on edge. If she leaves him, it will break both of their hearts. However, if she gets some on the side, is careful to protect herself, etc., she will be satisfied and live out a long life with her husband.

    By any definition, she's "cheating" on him if she gets some on the side. But is it still wrong? What if everybody involved is guaranteed to be happier (i.e. she could guarantee that he would never find out)?

    I find this one very difficult, but tend toward the "excusable cheating" side because it preserves a relationship to the greatest degree possible. However, I'm far from being the grand high exalted mystic pooh-bah of such things.

    Of course, all of this gets into core moral theory (injurious to the soul, utilitarianism, etc.). But that's another discussion topic...

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  • I would only cheat if I had the opportunity to screw 1 of my top 4 celebrities that I consider to be the best looking.

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    • And these celebrities are...

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    • could you at least include one or two attractive women on that list?

    • They're all attractive you dumbass. What were you hoping that I would say?

What Girls Said 9

  • I have never thought it wasn't wrong, but it feels less wrong if you genuinely care about the person you are cheating with - it is hard for it to feel wrong if you feel like you are in love. Positive emotions trump negative guilt most of the time.

    Most cases, if someone cheats it means they do not want to be in their current relationship or there is something their current relationship lacks (emotional or physical). If that is the case they should really be working on it or break up with their current partner. However it is also possible to be seduced if you are in a vulnerable situation or not expecting it (say from a married friend of yours). It is hard to fight feelings when they develop before you realize it and once you start cheating it s REALLY hard to stop unless someone finds out.

    It is usually black and white, clearly wrong, but there are some gray areas.

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    • This is my point though, if you fall in love with someone else, break up with your current boyfriend. It is not fair to your boyfriend that you are cheating, have some respect & break up with him. If you are married & want to stay with your partner, then resist temptation. That means, not only stop yourself from having sex but stop yourself from falling in love. If you start to develop feelings, that's when you need to back off so your feelings don't become more intense. There are no gray areas.

    • "if you start developing feelings for someone back off" much easier said than done, especially if you are in a long distance relationship, or feel isolated and have no other friends besides that person. It's all black and white until you know someone personally who goes through it, or it happens to you.

    • I never said it was easy, but doing what is "right" is never easy. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. There is no excuse, there is no gray. People are not helpless, they can control their actions. Maybe you just don't know what it feels like to be on the other side of cheating, where someone cheats on you. It's the cruelest thing a person can do to you, & there is always a way to prevent it. People have more control over themselves then people give them credit for...

  • It's not ok.

    It's selfish and it proves lack of will power. It's wrong and inconsiderate.People who cheat are liars, pretenders and they show lack of morals, plus they succumb on instincts like beasts. They don't love and respect their partners.They are full of pathetic excuses and they have issues.People who think that it's okay to cheat are obviously people who are cheaters and they usually say that it's okay because they feel the need to justify their mistakes.It's extremely hard for people to admit they are wrong.

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  • No. Its not Ok. Ever.

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  • Never would be right. If you want someone different and don't like your current partner then you break up with them. You do NOT have a relationship with someone else behind their back. >= It just hurts Everyone

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  • I have no idea why people think it's okay. My boyfriend and his friends were talking about it and they said it's fine if you break up with the person you cheated on the next day or right after. But why cause so much pain? It's just not right

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  • people that think cheating is not bad are stupid jacked up people and obviously they're cheaters themselves

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  • It is so totally wrong to cheat, the people that say there's nothing wrong just want to justify the fact that they are not jerks/whores but they are

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  • It's wrong because when you're in a relationship, you've committed yourself to that person and that person only. it's not OK to cheat. idon't think it is and never will

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  • People who cheat obviously don't know the meaning of LOVE. People who I know don't like people who cheat. And they think it is wrong. Those people who you know that don't think cheating is wrong well they are not obviously into a long term relationship, and in my opinion not worth looking at only if you wanna hook up, but that is all they are good for.

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