What should I do next?

I met a man at a bar about 2 months ago. We immediately were into each other that night. After conversation and exchanging phone numbers we started to talk every day. We started to hang out about three times a week. After about 3 weeks he told me that we should just be friends. I was not OK with this but we were not involved seriously so I did not take it hard. After about a week on no communication he called and wanted to hang out "as friends". We began to talk every day again and hang out but definitely not as friends. Any time I would bring up anything about 'us" or a relationship he would change the subject. I got the hint that he was not looking for anything serious and I was OK with that. Although he did not want to talk about a relationship he would do things that seemed like he may want a relationship but did not know how to talk about it. He asked me to meet his family on Christmas and also talked about plans for the "future" mentioning things that he wanted us to do next year and things like that. His job is seasonal and requires his to be away for 6 months out of the year starting in April. So he talked about me flying out to see him and celebrating his birthday with him. Just things that he shouldn't mention unless he planned to have me around during that time. So we had plans for NYE and two days before he told me that I should find other plans because he was not interested in doing this anymore. He told me I am great but this is not what he wants. I am not sure what to do now? I have no closure. He never told me why he doesn't want to do this anymore? But I think that he does want to do this very much and he is scared? I don't know if I am being naive about it but I think that he wants to be with me but he is scared of getting involved with me and then having to leave. I want to contact him and ask him to explain things so I can move on but I do not know if it is better to just leave him be and maybe he will come around? HELP!


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  • You should tell him EXACTLY how you're feeling. That you WANT to be with him, and that if he at all cares about you, then he needs to stop his BS and be with you. If you can, you need to do this in person. Don't call him before hand, just show up and tell him what you're feeling.

    You also needs to make him explain to you WHY he is acting this way. Don't take no for an answer. I don't know the whole story, but It seems to me like this guy needs someone to stand up to him for a change.

    Is it possible that he has been cheated on in his past because he moves around a lot? Maybe he has commitment issues because he is afraid of being the one hurt, so instead he hurts the person he cares about first.

    You might have to make it clear that you want to be with him, and only him (well, if it is that serious ;))

    Gosh, good luck. Give him hell ;)


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