When you both agree that as a last resort, a break seems the only way to save the relationship?

Me and my girlfriend of 4 years came to the decision the other day that a break to find ourselves is really the only way there is a chance of the relationship making it and we would rather not but it seems this is the only way.

We have a habit of losing ourselves in our relationship and lose sight of the reasons we fell in love in the 1st place..

It was a very emotional talk and at 1st I wasn't too sure it was such a good idea as I thought it may push us further away but thinking about it, we have been through a lot worse than this in the past and if anything I think this will make us stronger. We both cryed and said goodbye and that we both needed a few weeks to clear our heads and get back to being the people we were when we fell in love.

2 weeks seems like a very long time when you don't have the person that you have always been with but she has asked for 2 weeks and I'm willing to show her that she means enough to me for me to give it to her, its not about me giving up, I've never done that when it comes to her and she knows I won't but this is what she has asked for and I will show her I can do it.

At the time I didn't want to but I have realized that its not always about what you want in life and sometimes you need to compromise. At the time it was very emotional and I didn't really have a chance to say what I wanted so lastnight I wrote her a letter to say what I struggled to on the night... It wasn't a letter pleading for her to come back it was just to say I agree with the need for a few weeks break and I have realized the part I played in the fall of our relationship. Christmas was only a weeks ago and it was amazing together but since then I think we are both just in need of some time apart.

Anyone think it takes a break to realize what you had and what you stand to lose?!

It seems me and her have come and awful long way from the days of rowing and not talking for a few weeks along with the mind games to the point we can sit down like adults and admit this is something we need to do instead of running away from it...

I genuinely believe that if anything this will make us stronger when we come to reunite in a few weeks and as we have taken a step back we will realize there is so much love and passion there that this is what we needed to miss each other and not take our relationship for granted... After all, you don't know what you have untill its gone.

Let me know if you agree people and would appreciate mature answers only, not the move on, get over it lines.



Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it probably spells the end. Whiover suggested it is testing the water to find themselves and the courage to leave. Its a very graceful approach though. I tried it with my ex. I suggested 3 mnth relationship starvation and slept in the spare room. We separated amicably without the drama, emptiness or spite. You see the problem is that this method relies on you being at the same place emotionally at the end. Ur paths may never meet again once you step off your current one. But believe in fate and you never know. Its better to be alone than with someone who doesn't want you.


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What Girls Said 1

  • my guy will never give me a break because he says once broken always broken.

    • would you appreciate it if he did tho?! think you gu is abit immature and hasn't had much experience with love if that's his view I'm afraid.

What Guys Said 1

  • I agree with Sukiaki's post. Both people need to be at the same place emotionally for it to work. If someone doesn't see it coming, or the person requesting the break doesn't explain the situation clearly enough then it seems like a personal attack. Or if the person is to vague about what's going wrong, then it would be taken as a sign the he/she is just trying to pad a break-up. So, people would suspect that the person asking for the break is really just trying to "protect" the dumpee by giving them false hopes.

    People who mean for breaks to simply be breaks need to be clear on what they mean because a lot of people just use breaks as a "nice" way to break up with people. I put nice in quotes because it is the exact opposite. It's not very nice to give the impression that the split is temporary when it is actually permanent.

    I don't think it is immature at all for people to want clarity when someone asks for a break. I think they're justified in taking it as a break-up when the person asking for it is so vague about what specifically had gone that it is obvious that they have no intention of working out their problems.

    I do think, though, that it is very immature for people to ask for breaks and then expect for the breakee (I guess) to be psychic and know exactly what they mean.


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