Is it a good idea to start a friendship with your ex?

I dated this guy for 5 months, we got really attached and I feel in love with him. I never got so close to a guy, he always respected me, he was sweet and caring. We had really small arguments and we always knew how to fix them. Our relationship was really good, but there is something in his mind that doesn't allow him to commit to me. He couldn't really explain why he decided to break up with me, and its really weird. Anyways, we talked about this, and I was crying but I decided not to beg him. I accepted the fact that he wants me to move on, so I asked him to be my friend. I think that people who get close to you should not disappear, they should help you in life. I care about him a lot too, because he was never an asshole to me. After talking about being friends, we ended up having sex, so we don't know if its a good idea to have sex... he thinks I will get more attached. I think it will make me less attached, because our relationship will be less emotional and more physical. Do you guys have any experience? do you think is a good idea to be friends with him and have a little fun while we can? or should I just ignore him until I forget him? Should I try to just be friends, without sex?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It didn't work between me and my ex, when we tried it.

    A relationship of 4 years, we loved each other deeply and ended it mutually (for a similar reason, I thought I didn't love her as much as she loved me, etc).. And we tried being friends. The whole time we were supportive of each other and what not, but when one-another gets into a relationship all sorts of drama and feelings immurse from the depths of your heart.. It's like you feel your heart ripping from your chest all over again. It's hard to watch someone you once-loved walk away to the arms of another.

    My advice -> If you aren't fighting for them, you should move on; UNLESS, you have an iron-clad will to demolish any arrising feelings as they occur. Otherwise, you will deal with the worst heartbreaks and headaches you've ever experienced. And let me tell you from personal experience that it does change you. I used to be really hyper-happy around high school while I was dating this girl.. And now I have to suck up every ounce of strength just to get through my days.. But I'm slowly pulling away from the grips as I get closer and closer to pushing her out of my life.

    A great girl; in my eyes, a miracle -> She gave me the strength to make it this long.. But the pain is too much.. And the games? Manipulative bullsh*t that shouldn't happen to begin with. I catch onto her questions: "Hey are you home?" (around the holiday times, to see if I'm out partying, etc).. And everyone tries to sugarcoat it saying how she's just checking to make sure I'm okay.. But how come she wouldn't do that during a regular day as well? I'm not blind or deaf.. When they catch on, they get pissed; just like I am, I can't believe someone I loved so much turned into such a crummy person -> yet I still look up to her with the same love... God it rips me apart.

    Hope you choose wisely, but realize that you can always walk away later if something goes wrong. Just make sure that you stick to your choice, whatever it is.. Don't falter under pressure or due to unsquashed feelings.. Stand firm regardless of how lonely or lovey you get.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • This same thing happened to me except I worked with the guy...I fell in love and he was always respectful and we where always together everyday for 7 months...we broke up and I was extremely heart broken and like you I'm not one to beg...we agreed to be friends but, I got to the point to where I couldn't handle it seeing him everyday at work flirting with other girls and everything...I had to quit my job. I think that if you are strong enough then yes ya'll can be friends but I do think you should be completely over him. On the whole sex situation I think sex would just make things harder, emotions tend to run high in sexual relationships and especially if you are already attached I don't think sex is a good idea.

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  • if you still love him... ignor him.. it will just make thing harder if you guys continue to have sex.. as "friends". it probably seems like a good idea now, because he's not seeing anyone yet.. but once he does, you will get hurt. very hurt. so it's not a bad idea to start getting over him, and then being JUST freinds? if he will even talk to you, if he doesn't end up with someone else

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  • You need to be over him before you even try to be friends.

    And if you still have feelings for him, I would NOT recommend sex. You WILL become attached, most do.

    Take some time away from him and then try to be friends.

    I highly recommend that you DO NOT have sex with him. No, no, no, and nooooo.

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