Have I lost my ex permanently?

So me and my ex of about 6 years broke up, he dumped me. He's 36, I'm 27. He is the 'bread winner' and whether or not I've wanted him to, he's kind of taken over my life financially with gifts that became obligations (cars, home, furniture, etc.) He has lost sexual interest in me over the last 2 years after me pushing him away a bit and then feeling like I was totally dependent on him.

So, we live together and I had recently accepted an internship abroad for 3 months. During the last 2 months we had together we fought every day, I would question him, try to fix things, bargain, etc. So I was a pest and he would get INSANELY angry, fly off the handle, etc. Tell now he will NOT discuss us or our relationship but to consider us done and not getting back together.

In the beginning, he seemed hopeful that maybe, further down the line we may get back together and I could stay. Now I HAVE to leave that is not an option to stay anymore. However, he wants to pay my rent and continue making my car payments-though I have specifically asked him NOT to if we're not together-he insists. Before I left for my internship, he kissed me, told me he loved me and I could call him every day and that we would miss me. He said he would like for me to be independent and I should date if I can. I told him I would hate it if he started seeing someone else, he said he knew and 'had no intentions' or hooking up with anyone-but he was clear he wouldn't make any promises I could hang over his head and go nuts on him about.

So I have been here for 4 days, and have spoken to him as he said I could, and have cried because we started fighting again. Yesterday he said we shouldn't talk anymore and he doesn't want to hear from me for at LEAST a week. He says my dependence on him is extremely unattractive He has gotten furious and said 'We are NEVER getting back together' but then will relent and say 'Maybe' He makes it clear that he doesn't know what to future holds, but if I want to share a life with someone I need to focus on myself first.

So.. now I'm in Paris, missing him and wondering what is going to happen. I'm trying not to call him and give him his space, but I am terribly homesick. He says he doesn't want me to hang on to the past and I need to move forward-but what will happen between us neither can say.

Is this guy gone for good? I know it shouldn't be so complicated.. Excuse the typos, my browser is freaking out. 0.o

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think you're time in Paris will be good for both of you. But on the other hand, now you're bringing in the long distance problem. If I were you I would give him at least a couple of weeks of space. Start planning on how to get him back while not contacting him.

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What Girls Said 1

  • leave him alone...he is abusing your history together. Not fair to you..also he's trying to keep strings attached to his advantage?! PLEASEEE! He's already met some one...you the "just in case ex" in the background...

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