Basically (in short version because it is a long story) my best guy friend liked one of our mutual best friends, she rejected him. A couple weeks later (because I liked him at the time) we made out. I told him we need to think about what happen because he had mixed feelings and later told me we can just be friends. I was in denial hoping he would change his mind. We still seem to have a connection for a while as more than friends and I got mixed signals for a long time. Now I forced myself to open my eyes lately and noticed that he seems to pay more attention to the mutual friend compared to our relationship. He still is "hot and cold" with me sometimes with signals but I feel like I am there as his back-up. We all have been best friends for over 3 years. I feel all I was, was a second choice and he is trying to show me me that hey we are just friends but we might have a chance as soon as I finally give up on our mutual friend. At this point I feel like I am giving up with him, and now I am just pissed when he seems to give me a "signal". I am more annoyed than anything right now. Why was he (and still is) trying to keep me as his second choice if he is still all over her, but occasionally is with me? He had to know I wouldn't keep up with his dumb act forever? Also I want to confront him about his still crush on the girl (he doesn't tell me who he likes, and he never really did), how do I go about that without seeming like an accusing b*tch?
His signs are subtle: for me I always have to make the first move and if I seem to flirt to much with him he backs off. If I don't flirt with him he is all over me, he likes the games. He also gets randomly jealous (Sometimes) when I mention another guy or about another one coming along with us.
For the mutual friend: He calls her, he tries to make plans with her more than me (unless I don't flirt), He took her to the movies but tells me oh we can just watch at so and so's house, he always seems to want to be around her more often, he mentions her to me every once a while.
Also I just have this gut feeling lately that he does. I don't know if that is something I should trust or not.
Most Helpful Girl
I'm not sure because to really know how he's feeling, I'd have to be in his head. But what I do know is that this guy isn't treating you the way that you should be treated. Find someone else who likes YOU only and doesn't go back and forth from you and your friend. To me it sounds like he's using you to either make her jealous or as his rebound because she rejected him. Of course you're the second choice because if you weren't then he would have went for you first and not her. No one deserves to be the second choice and settle for it. Keep him as your friend, and that's all. Him being jealous and acting up when you don't give him attention is probably because he likes your attention and feeling like he has you and when he feels like he doesn't, he acts up. Don't flirt with him, treat him as a friend only. Let him chase around your friend while you find a guy who is worth your time and makes you his number 1. When he gets upset when you don't give him attention then brush it off, you don't owe him anything and you deserve to be happy.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
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