Am I his "second choice"?

Basically (in short version because it is a long story) my best guy friend liked one of our mutual best friends, she rejected him. A couple weeks later (because I liked him at the time) we made out. I told him we need to think about what happen because he had mixed feelings and later told me we can just be friends. I was in denial hoping he would change his mind. We still seem to have a connection for a while as more than friends and I got mixed signals for a long time. Now I forced myself to open my eyes lately and noticed that he seems to pay more attention to the mutual friend compared to our relationship. He still is "hot and cold" with me sometimes with signals but I feel like I am there as his back-up. We all have been best friends for over 3 years. I feel all I was, was a second choice and he is trying to show me me that hey we are just friends but we might have a chance as soon as I finally give up on our mutual friend. At this point I feel like I am giving up with him, and now I am just pissed when he seems to give me a "signal". I am more annoyed than anything right now. Why was he (and still is) trying to keep me as his second choice if he is still all over her, but occasionally is with me? He had to know I wouldn't keep up with his dumb act forever? Also I want to confront him about his still crush on the girl (he doesn't tell me who he likes, and he never really did), how do I go about that without seeming like an accusing b*tch?

His signs are subtle: for me I always have to make the first move and if I seem to flirt to much with him he backs off. If I don't flirt with him he is all over me, he likes the games. He also gets randomly jealous (Sometimes) when I mention another guy or about another one coming along with us.

For the mutual friend: He calls her, he tries to make plans with her more than me (unless I don't flirt), He took her to the movies but tells me oh we can just watch at so and so's house, he always seems to want to be around her more often, he mentions her to me every once a while.

Also I just have this gut feeling lately that he does. I don't know if that is something I should trust or not.
Updates:
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Okay I have a few updates on this. I am still best friends with the guy (I know not good for my feelings but its hard since we have been friends for so long) and he told me a month ago he has feelings for the mutual friend. But since he told me...
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(continued)...they haven't hung out ever since he told me. Maybe because he is feared that I told her or something. They stopped talking for a month I believe and all we did was hangout and talk continuously. (Also when I wrote this as his second choice..
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...it was before I knew he liked her and he admitted it to me). Now I know he has feelings for her (he told me) but why have we been so close if he likes her? Any new advice on this would help.
Am I his "second choice"?
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