My ex wants to be friends.

She has a new boyfriend. It bothers me a lot (as obviously signals we are def over). She is being super nice to me as obviously she knows I may be upset. She really wants to be friends. Is it better to act (fake) happy for your ex and accept friendship or be cold and tell them you don't want to be friends. I know the score, that ultimately we probably won't be friends but I'm not really planning on ever contacting her (simply replying when she texts me). It's more the initial response of appearing like the bigger person and accepting friendship or declining and showing your dissatisfaction with her offer?


0|0
46

Most Helpful Guy

  • The solution is simple, NEVER talk to this girl again. Don't communicate with her, no texting, no eye contact, erase her facebook or MySpace or whatever. Don't tell her ANYTHING, she doesn't deserve your time. Any communication just boosts her ego because she KNOWS that you still care and have feelings. She has moved on and so should you. "Friendship" is not an option. It won't be a real friendship and guess what, you have friends already. All you will be is a filler of space, the emotional tampon, and a sucker when she cuts you out of her life completely without warning. She wants you to have a front row seat to her new relationship and wants to remind you of what you don't have with her anymore. She is your EX. Move on and start dating other girls. STOP trying to be civil because it doesn't work.

    0|1
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • It's all about how you feel now. If you think that you can move on just as fast if you're still friends with her, then I'd do so. What I notice about girls (and guys, I'm sure) is that they keep their exes as friends and once they break up with their partner, immediately turn to their ex for advice and sometimes someone to make them feel "loved" again, which is never fair. It's a difficult position to be in especially if you still like your ex, and I'm presuming you do else you wouldn't be asking the question.

    To save hurt, I wouldn't be friends with her. Maybe in the future when you have both moved on and don't have the same feelings for her, that could be possible. But right now I think you are better off without her in your life.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't plan to be really close friends atm. I'm just unsure whether it's better to go along with saying we'll be friends (as I'm sure she'll contact me less once I've agreed) or tell her I can't be friends right now. It's a bit like being in limbo and I'm just not sure which option to tell her.

    • Like I said, it depends how you feel about her. If you still really like her then I wouldn't be friends.

  • The best thing to do is tell her you need space from her so you can move on. It's not about looking like a bigger person, its about doing what you need to to get over her. So tell her its too soon after the break up to be friends right now, and that you need some distance from her. She should understand and give you that space.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I know it's just hard when she's acting so nice. I swear she was never this nice when we were going out!

  • Tell her what YOU think! She's obviously knows you real well and would certainly be able to tell if you were acting fake. Just say something like "we've dated before so there is tht little jealousy issue, but if its just us and some of our common friends hanging out then I'd LOVE too. And if you really want me to, I can give it a try and who knows maybe you'll help me find someone new."...i mean if thts what you feel then SAY IT, but just don't be sabby/lovey dovey with her. Girls only like tht when they're dating you...But honestly, imp, I think she still might have a few feelings for you or otherwise she never would've wanted to still keep you close to her...Good Luck and I hope maybe this helps:D

    0|0
    0|0
  • let her know how you truly feel and that it will take time for you to get to that point. she should understand, especially if she is already showing some compassion and guilt because she knows you are upset. do what is best for you, no need to put her feelings first anymore. not in a bad way, but you need your time as well and if she has already moved on, maybe she already got her time.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 5

  • It's really going to be hard at first and awkward believe me..the best thing to do is to focus on your other goals so that you wouldn't feel depressed and you really need sometime and cut the communication at least for the time being you can be honest and tell her that..sometime it's also a good thing being a friend with your EX because there is already respect for that individual eventhough, your not in the same relationship..also keep yourself on guard because the current Boyfriend she has may just be a rebound and she is making you jealous..what I did before with a girl who left me for someone I completely cut off the communication and never bothered to say hi it took me 6months about 2 semesters before our common friends made us talk again..

    0|0
    0|0
  • the cool thing is that whether you still like her (seems like you do) or not, you should do the same thing. don't talk to her. be nice but make it clear that you need space/time to get over her. then you need to stick to it. if she wants you back she will let you know, trust me. and then it's up to you. but otherwise, it's just not worth the torture of talking to her, spending time with her, and especially seeing/hearing anything about her new boyfriend and knowing you won't be with her. cut her out of your life man.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm with chess board. Just ignore her. Anything you say or do either way makes you an ass or a doormat. You're either an emotional slave to her and thinking you can win her back in some half assed way or you become the ass and "hurt her feelings" because your being cold. Just drop off out of her life. You don't owe her anything. All you did was date and now that is clearly done.

    0|0
    0|0
  • nothing wrong in being friends

    0|0
    0|1
  • Your ex wants to be friends.

    0|0
    1|0
Loading...