Anybody ever forget what being single\taken feels like?

We started dating April 14, 2017. And now here we are... breaking up November 11, 2018. I gave my all. He used to but then stopped. At the end of the day, i blame myself for trying to be wifey when i was just girlfriend. I blame him for refusing to change for me like i changed for him. I blame friends who wished bad on us. I blame family who discouraged us. I thank the Lord that we lasted this long, and i’ll also thank him if he makes it possibly for us to work again in the future. But for now, im just single. Im just... me. I feel like i wasted 2 years honestly. I mean i probably shouldn't say that since im still in love with the dork, but whatever. I think i’ll start looking into in vitro now because i dont know if i have it in me to fall again just to possibly be used or heartbroken. Its happened numerous times with different guys. So i mean... yea
#FeelFreeToList #SingleOrTaken
Updates:
Okay, so last night the Lord Almighty gifted us another chance at this. Im going to take full advantage and try to learn from the past mistakes i made. I just hope he can hold up to his end. I may not be on here as much for a while and fear that i may get a lot of negative comments for giving this another shot. But anyways, thanks so far to those of you who gave great advice or who was there for me yesterday. Tty all again someday

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Before I answer your question, I just want to give some advice based on my own personal experiences. Being single will suck at times, but there is a sense of peace that comes with it if you approach it the right way. Use this time to assess yourself. What are some flaws in you that became noticeable or problematic during the relationship? What are some goals or dreams of yours that the previous relationship got in the way of? You should really ask yourself these questions as you move on to this new phase in your life. There's so much you can do when you are single and you don't need another human being to fulfill you. Now, to answer your question, I have not forgotten what being in a relationship feels like, although I've been single for over a year now. I gave up on dating because I'm tired of the dishonesty I was dealing with. Also, I'm not at a point in my life where I'm even dateable. I have A LOT of things to work on before I even consider pursuing a woman again. But, I can honestly say that I am at peace now. I'm just focusing on getting my degree, improving at my job, and helping my mother out.

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    • Sounds like where i was when i was single. I didn't wanna go back to this tho

  • Damn des! Sorry this Sitch hit you so close to the holidays and in general. can't believe I come back and your dude still being a douche. I know nothing can truly be said to fix your current heartbreak state. But I do think you're an awesome person who deserves better than that douche, buuuut I also know the heart wants what it wants sadly. It's why I'm fighting for a girl I possibly will never have again lol.

    But anyway hang tough, hopefully your mate get ish together start meeting you halfway, some day soon.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • You still seem young and don't look at it as a closed book but just another chapter. A closed chapter, and there will be many more. Being single isn't all that bad. It's scary at first but its liberating. You just worry about yourself now, you do what you want without a second opinion. Cry if you have to, but don't cry for too long. Now is the time to focus on yourself. It won't be bad.

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    • I can only focus on myself for so long. I want to give and receive love. Either from a man, a child, or both

    • Of course but just remember to love yourself first before loving someone else. Being alone isn't bad. It gives you a chance to see who you are as a person without needing someone. When you learn to be content with yourself alone you can be content with a life partner.

  • Stages in life come and go as they please with various obstacles and life lessons that are placed for us to face. Each relationship I've been through has molded me and taught me something different as each person whom I was with as well as where I was in life during the time I'd be dating a particular person would give me various feelings. When I was single for close to 2 years, I thought I had forgotten how to love someone or thought I lost the "it factor" in attacking a good guy, but being single during that time only helped me realize the independent person I can be when not tied down.

    Hope you can find peace though this breakup Desii and in time see what you've gained as a person.

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What Guys Said 67

  • Did you just say you changed for him? loooool... omg... you girls. you guys amaze the shit out of me.
    Hell, you said it yourself... trying to be wifey instead of girlfriend... yea.. that would drive a guy away.
    I dont really like break ups... but i always see the reasons why.
    Single life ain't that bad... and now you have some experience. Next time.. dont be a wifey.

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  • I'm sorry for your breakup and I wish you many Best wishes
    you are a wonderful young woman whose got her whole life
    ahead of her and trust me it hurts like hell to break up but
    some aspects it's for the best. I had 2 ex-girlfriends and it
    was no good , i never felt loved by either one of them but
    i think life goes on for all of us. I wish you the best never
    give up cause you know your a wonderful young woman.

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  • I felt to have wasted 5 years of my life and mine was so much more complicated*

    I realised by contemplation and introspection that i didn't love the girl but rather the image* i had of her in my mind.. the image which i created to fall in love with her, the image which made me feel she is so good and when in reality the expectations i had and the reality didn't sync, i tried to change that*

    That and there is where i made the mistake..
    to not realise that she isn't like the image i had of her but different.

    And then instead of realising that she isn't the right person.. i tried to change and her..
    and even worse..
    tried to change myself..

    Perhaps i realised what it means when they say that love is blind..
    we are Blind to love the image rather than the person* is in reality.

    It takes time to move on.. from this situation.. from the failure.. from the hurt.. to acceptance 😊
    Interacting with others, new hobbies.. new skill sets developed.. and getting along with more people of the opoosite gender helps us to move fast..
    It takes time 😊
    I hope u move on soon ➡ towards Happiness and better things 😊

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  • Girl don't get a baby just to help your heart it won't work and you won't be able to take care of it. Kids will suck the life out of you especially single and your not mentally ready at all.

    You sadly probably did waste 2 years but now your single. So take time to heal your heart work on yourself and live for you before making a big choice.

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  • Nope. I don't think I could ever forget what being taken felt like. But you just move on. It sucks real bad cause I was pretty much doing what you did, but for some reason that drives people away. Thats why I'm done with all that. But I wish you the best whether things do work out and you get back together. Or if you don't

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  • Do I forget? Sometimes I forget certain aspects, maybe. But I had a small "taste" of being in (what felt like) a good relationship. I miss that. I miss feeling like whatever I say isn't going to be judged harshly every time I open my mouth, or that I'm treated as a pathetic loser for being a geek.

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  • Awww I’m sorry to hear, I’m sure you guys will manage in the future 😊

    And if not, don’t worry... relationships that didn’t work are a time waste and weren’t meant to work in the first place

    Just get back in your feet and enjoy beeing single, you’re free now 😋

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  • Oh 😔😔😔💔💔💔 I am so sorry to hear that, I was cheering for your happeniess, sadly life is just full of surprises.
    I hope you find a space in your heart that will be for the man that will take all your heart in the future and be happy.
    For me I never been in a relationship, so I don't know what the feeling is.

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  • Being single is not that bad, it can give you the time to focus on yourself. Think that you have to worry about one less person. For the moment focus on your career, on your future, start saving money and find a better job in the future. You're still young and you don't have or something, it could be worse. You may still love him but with time you will come to understand that, its not worth loving or caring about people that drag us down.

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    • He never dragged me down. He was my motivation and my future. Now i gotta try to figure out how i could possibly live without the one guy who made me wanna live again

  • Being single is very depressing. Seeing people pair up, together, holding up, etc. The real reason relationship never last because no body is committed in a relationship. So yeah break ups and be single will happen to people quite offen

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  • I dont remember what being in couple was.
    But my advice is not doing anything until you feel the water in calm.
    Im not gonna say that I like this, because in fact Im looking for a couple but I have survived a lot time alone, so it isn't so bad.
    About in vitro, think a lot about it, because a child isn't the same relation as a couple. I think its something parents forget, so caring a child is a difficult task, and to sustitute the love of a couple with the love of a son is a very bad thing.

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  • Have I ever forgotten what it's like to be involved? I haven't been with anyone touched anyone in over 32 years, so yes i would say so. it sounds like you want to blame everyone but yourself, your first mistake was thinking you would be able to change him and that don't fly.

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    • I blamed myself first but whatever

    • This is the biggest mistake that girls make going into a relationship thinking they can or will change someone to their liking. The only thing that will change anyone is their self and they have to want to change before that will ever happen. You say you changed for him, is that true and do you like who you are or are you comfortable with those changes? If not you will go back to who you were before you met him which means you never changed for him either. Does any of that make sense?

  • Sounds like this has sadly ran its course, that's life.

    I think the number one problem people have with moving on after relationships (besides a broken heart) is not getting CLOSURE. Make sure you and him lay all cards out on the table if that's a possibility.

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  • i'm a confirmed bachelor and a virgin for life and i chose the path of single and happy life i know where i stand and where i stand is where i will be and i enjoy the freedom of being single and bachelor and i'm happy with it i am a bachelor and i am proud of it

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  • Yeah I don’t know what it’s like to feel taken. As a man you present yourself in the most positive way to women and if it does nothing then there’s nothing you can do cause I have a good job as a manager I have my own apartment, putting myself through college. I thought most women desire a guy who’s ambitious and responsible but I could be wrong

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  • Sorry to hear that Desi. I have been single for ten years or so. It works and allows me to function so I stick with it.

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  • Very sorry to hear that. What a terrible day you must be having.

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  • I wasn't 2 years wasted, you've learned from it, had good times, and even though it didn't end well, you know that was worth it. You're young, you're beautiful, you want something serious. You'll have another occasion.
    It will be hard, really hard, for months probably, but then, one day, you'll go to bed at the end of the day, and suddenly realize you didn't think about him at all, that day. And that's when you'll know you've moved on.
    But until then, keep you mind busy, do stuff, don't give yourself time to think. Work, go out, see people, party, have sex, whatever, do ANYTHING to make sure you won't think about it as much as possible.
    And never hesitate to go and talk to people if you need. If you feel down, if you want to keep yourself busy, if you need advices... go, and ask. It's not a shame, and there are people ready to help.
    For what it's worth, if you ever need to talk and don't have anyone better available, my messages are always open for you.

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    • Party? Have sex? Yeaaaaa... no. But the other advice was good lmao

    • Doesn't matter, do whatever makes you happy, go in a knitting club if you want, whatever, that works too

  • I feel miserable, lazy, lethargic, and poor when I'm in a relationship so, I'm glad to be single.

    3 years and counting 🍌✊🏻

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    • Relationships aren't supposed to make you feel that way. Thats not normal you know that right.

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    • Too bad you feel that way about women.

    • @Kenni I was built to be alone. Ever since I got out of the military, I've been shunning people more and more, and feeling better and better.

      I'm beginning to think that if I can shut the entire world out, I will be fully at peace.

  • I've forgotten what sex feels like... But not the relationship aspects. That will last forever. And because of that, it will always hurt knowing you are alone.

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  • I don't know what its like to be taken. I imagine its a scary, claustrophobic feeling, wondering everyday whether I made the right decision.

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  • Why you still went with him when everyone told you not to. i do not know

    and i hope you don't get back with him. sounds like a real ass. you deserve better

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  • Being single feels like no pressure and plenty of freedom unless you have mental issues then it would feel depressing.
    Being taken feels good but expensive and tied with commitments

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  • Just take it as a learning experience or process, take what you've learned and either try again and hope for the best, otherwise just let it go and see what happens in the future, or forget about it altogether. It's only "wasted" if you believe that it is wasted. It's just back to the drawing board again that if you still want to continue to take chances that is. Time to reassess things. Figure out what exactly you did right and keep doing it, and whatever needs improvement or changing, adjust it, and whatever is or was out of your control, forget about it as there's nothing much you could do for that last part. You do have to keep in mind there's only so much control, if any that we all have over what CAN happen and what WILL happen.

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  • I am sorrx for you had to make this experiance... it gives you quite some knowledge though :)
    If you need someone to talk to or anything else feel free to hit me up at any time

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    • For a matter of fact, my ex texted me today and was very angry about me trying to make this once friendship exist again... but she just told me how little she wants to know about me and how she has no interest in me as a human and that i should just shut the fuck up. Well i just wanted to make things right for my own conciousness... so hapoy to leave angry "I am much happier now" her be. But even before the day I was ready to talk to her, I have to admit I don't know what it really felt like being with.. her... I know it felt good.. but as she was quite ignorant and demanding... i don't remember it good...

    • Thanks for the offer. Maybe tomorrow since im goin to bed rn but wow can't believe she said that. Ig she really moved on :( i dont want him to move on

  • Sounds like you might be stuck. I've been there. I spent over ten years stuck. I'm not stuck anymore. I'm open to the pain of a new relationship.
    A song:

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  • You have lost, like the central powers 100 years ago.
    I'm sorry, I just had to. There is no universe where I didn't do it (and where I exist).
    There is no god.
    Again. I had to.
    Heh. in vitro. From vitrum in latin, meaning glass. Latin is useful. :-)

    OK, to the topic. There is nothing for me to say to you, that will make you fell better. So…I say only one thing: just wait. :-)
    I'm single for 5 years (can't imagine why). I have forgotten how it's like to be in a relationship, have sex, kiss, or any of that stuff. Now, when some girl says something positive about me (that has happened here…2×), I instantly refuse that and don't beieve. My very long experience says otherwise.

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  • Sorry to hear that... :( ... I have only ever been single and I'd like to be taken :)

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  • Sorry to hear that I'm single because my wife passed away but hang in there you will find someone great soon

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  • Hold up on the in vitro! You have to thrive on your own before taking responsibility for kids.

    This relationship want a waste of time. It was exactly the amount of time for you to learn what you needed to learn. And if he ended it instead of you, maybe you haven't learned as much as he? Take a step back and think about what you want in your life for fulfilment, independent of others. Then ask what you need from others... are you ok with your answer, or do you need more growth?

    I had a 17yr lesson being married to someone who didn't love themselves enough to be honest with me. I was lucky it didn't go on longer because I wasn't adding things up. I'm still going through the process of figuring out how I thrive for the sake of myself and family, all while working full time, taking care of them, paying support to her. So don't rush into the kid thing. Truly learn and grow from this, and don't run to anyone but family or friends.

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    37

What Girls Said 28

  • I've been single for almost a decade now so I'm certainly no stranger to that life.

    Sorry that things didn't work out with y'all. I personally think you stayed longer than you should've and deserved better, but I also know that it's not easy to just walk away when genuine feelings are involved. Keep your head up and know that God has better things in store.

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    • I sound crazy saying this but i pray the Lord took him away only to make him a better man for me and will bring him back soon

    • Everything happens for a reason so who knows. I'd suggest doing some soul searching tho.

  • Well I've found out ( after being legally seperated from my husband of 18 years).. that there are more crazy ass people out there than I care to ever cross paths with again. 80 cats for companion looks good to me. Lol

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  • Wow. I'm sorry to hear that. 😕

    I've never been in a long term relationship, so I've never experienced that feeling.

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  • Yep. I was very busy handling many boyfriends when I was in highschool. But I don't know what happened. I was single since the day highschool ended😂 and now I’m 21. I completely forgot how it feels like to be taken.

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  • Yes! I haven't really been single since I was 15, and sometimes I think I should just be alone for a while to be myself without anyone else influencing me or trying to.

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  • Yeah, it's been a good two years for me.
    xx
    ~ Mrs Manson

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  • Aww, I’m sorry girl. He didn’t seem like he was worth your time anyway.
    I do remember what it was like to be taken and honestly I don’t miss it

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  • I’m learning what is like to be single.

    14th May 2014 - 22nd September 2018. Almost 4 and a half years.

    It’s shit but I also don’t want anyone to come near me romantically

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  • Yes honestly, it feels like ages ago where I was just gong through hookup after hookup just to sit on some faces. Lmao.
    I don't know what I'd do without my fwb/girl. Sorry girl.

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    • Dang u lost your fwb?

    • No I'll see him tomorrow night again. Lmao.
      No I'm dating him and my girl at the same time. They're probably together doing something.

  • Never dated anyone and probably won't anytime soon if I'm honest, though I can't wait to find someone who likes me for me

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  • Been single so long I think I'm actually making excuses to stay that way, I'm used to it.

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  • Hugs!!! And... yeah... it's been 11 months on and off with my a**hole... I just can't let him go :'(

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    • I couldnt let him go for a year and a half. I finally let him go and just pray the lord finds a good way SOON for us to be together again

  • Yep.
    Left a 4 year relationship.
    Being single hit me like a brick wall at first.
    Now I kind of prefer it.

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  • Been single 4 years... used to it now. But it’s still hard.

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  • Nope im always single but I'm sorry you broke up, as much as i was critical i really was rooting for you guys.

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    • Im still rooting for us like an idiot. Im actually hoping this time apart makes him realize what he's losing and that he comes running for it before the New year or whatev. I don't know ik i sound stupid. But if i get on rabbit like 10pm (its 6pm here rn) will u be able to get on for 1-2 hours?

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    • I'm still rooting too. I hope it works out

    • I'm glad you guys are giving it each other another chance but this time talk things through. No expectations just talk, it'll help you build a better relationship.

  • Sucks dude I'm sorry
    Be happy you didn't waste more time

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  • I have forgotten what it felt like.. it has been far too long

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  • Taken, absolutely no ones ever truly been there for me. Single, nope that’s my life

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  • I'm so sorry Desi.

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    • I tried. So freakin harD. I can't even bring myself to say “on to the next dude” cause i still only want him. But i’ll encourage myself to say, “on to the next house since my mom is going crazy af” or “on to the doc to get inserted with some random mans sperm”

    • Blessed be. Let me know if u need to talk.

  • I'm so sorry

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  • is he hot? I wanna kiss him

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  • I've been with my baby daddy for about 3 years

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    • I wasn't done. 😭 But it's honestly weird to think about not being with him even through all the bullshit and whatnot we've been through

  • This hit home..

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  • i can't stay single. i need help

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  • Damn man. I’m sorry.

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  • hard to believe anyone would be able to forget

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  • I never forget

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  • Check out my page plz! need help

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