How do you deal with breakups?

Do you talk about it with a good friend? Does talking about it makes you feel better and help you move on? OR do you prefer to just distract yourself by keep yourself busy?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • For the worst case (break up 3 weeks before marriage), I did not find it that helpful to talk about it. It kind of re-opened the wounds, if you will. At the same time idle distractions weren't really keeping my mind off of her.

    What helped me most was finding new passions, hobbies, things that encouraged me to work hard towards a goal. I picked up things like fitness and revived my old interest in drawing and writing music as well as meeting new people and going camping together and so forth.

    After a while I was waking up in the mornings so motivated to pursue those goals that she slowly started to move to the back of my mind. It's like I replaced the dream of her and us with other dreams that filled me with a sense of purpose.

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    • Wow, that's actually very good thing to do.
      "It's like I replaced the dream of her and us with other dreams that filled me with a sense of purpose."

      That's awesome. I'm sure your opinion will help many people who are trying to deal with breakups! Thank you so much for sharing your experience. :)

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    • ... things of this sort. But when I finally started recovering, that's what it finally felt like on the second year when I realized I woke up one morning excited to do something and wasn't thinking about her at all. I managed to finally replace the dream of her and us with another dream.

    • In that one case I actually felt like I lost all purpose to living. I was never so close to my family or anything and maybe, at the time, she was the only one I really deeply loved. So I got a bit of a death wish, got drunk a lot, arrested. I almost got fired from my job because the quality of my work plummeted during the first year and my managers were like, "We're only keeping because you did such exceptional in the past. But you need to start fixing things." And they suggested I keep my mind off of her by focusing on my work, but actually when I was working I was most prone to daydream and miss her. So the cure for me was finding passions outside of work.

  • does depend on the break up but if communication and answers to questions why are met... there is no reason why a breakup has to be difficult... or end in two people hating each other... or not being friends

    I try to remain friends if i can, especially since before i go out with any girl/woman I like to get to know them as a friend and consider them as such before hand... so going out with them just brings us closer, it doesn't mean you stop being their friend... or them your's and as such if things ended amicably then I like it to return to such dynamic...

    it makes it easier moving forward...

    so I prefer closure to any situation and then I prefer to look forward and get on with life... if someone wastes my time i dont have time for them, if someone is hurtful or vindictive and decides to not be a part of my life then that's their choice... I have a lot of love to give and can't waste my time on anyone who won't appreciate it

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    • That's very wise. I agree with you and I tried to be their friends after breaking up. But it didn't work out, they just wanted to be in relationship, they didn't want to be friends again. With my current boyfriend, it's scary. If I ever break up, we will never talk to each again because sadly we were never actually friends. We had interest in each other since we met. But it would be nice to be friends with someone I was in relationship with someone I used to be in a repationship with. Will be nice to know how are they doing. I'm not so keen on being friends with one ex though, who didn't give me closure. That was the most painful thing ever and now he wants to be friend. I don't have time for that.

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    • Definitely! I think you have got yourself a new follower, lol :)

    • thanks, likewise :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • I try and keep myself thinking about other things or people, but I suppose its from whom the break up comes, my first love went away and it took me ages to get over him, my second boyfriend well I stopped seeing him so it was easy, everything past that has been alright

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    • I can imagine. Forgetting about your first love can be very difficult. It does take ages. If I ever breakup with my boyfriend, I don't think I'll be able to move for a whole decade or more. It scares me.

      Thank you so much for sharing

  • I cry a lot, eat my favourite food (I know it's shitty thing to do to yourself, but I am not someone who indulges always so...) , watch uplifting movies and keep myself busy.

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    • Ah.. I do the same thing except eating my favourite food. I lose my appetite for days or even weeks. After few days/weeks, when I finally accept that it was for the best and we are not going to get together like ever but I still feel miserable then I eat junk foid. Lots of chocolates, brownies, ice creams and friend food. It does help in comforting and uplifts the mood :)

    • It's not a shitty thing to do unless you get addicted to it!

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What Guys Said 26

  • How do you deal with breakups?
    Whatever you do don't egg their house because they might not even live there. And the old lady who does live there has arthritis. So you pretend to be a witness and help clean up the mess. But because you help her she offers to set you up with her granddaughter who is about your age. You decline at first but after seeing a picture of her you see she's really cute so you reluctantly agree. And so your new girlfriend thinks you're this amazing guy but you're there riddled with guilt so you eventually come clean. And then you're back at square one all alone and sad.

    You need time to heal and flush all the emotion out of your system.
    If your ex was really cool it's a lot harder to get over the relationship because you still feel like it could work but if they're a piece of **** it's a lot easier to move on because you can put all the blame on them.
    The sooner you can clear your mind the better. Do some introspection and floccinaucinihilipilification in order to determine that all this stressing is ultimately worthless.

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    • "Whatever you do don't egg their house because they might not even live there. And the old lady who does live there has arthritis. So you pretend to be a witness and help clean up the mess. But because you help her she offers to set you up with her granddaughter who is about your age. You decline at first but after seeing a picture of her you see she's really cute so you reluctantly agree. "

      OMG πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ If you have actually done that, you are a meanie but also a smart cookie, lol.

      Floccinaucinihilipilification.. I can't believe you actually used that word in just two hours after I taught you :p

      Jokes apart, I agree. The sooner you clear your mibd, the bettee. No point dwinling in the past. Thank you for sharing!

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    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LstIgtkEe50
      I know it's a cliche but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The tribulation you go through now will only elevate you as a person and will develop you into a better stronger person.
      It's like when Edward Jenner gave that little boy cow pox in order to prepare his immune system for small pox. Dunno if that analogy makes sense. Don't regret learning something.

    • So true. I agree with you 100%. :)

  • I don't know how to
    But I know how to help people out of it
    Talking about it and knowing that life isn't over, there is many things to come yet
    Life is full of surprises, the good and the bad
    But most importantly to make them know I am here for them, in the bad times always ❀️

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  • Being honest with urself and if you breaking up with somebody there's a reason breakups don't have to be hard nor do they have to hurt as long as they're still respect for each other but I would say all the above

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    • Yes, but sadly it is very hurtful sometimes especially if you love someone. :/

  • Never was in a relationship, so never had to deal with a break up πŸ˜„.
    But I think I'll be perplexed about what I might be doing 🀷 it I happen face one.

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    • In a way, it's very good thing you never got into repationship. Because breakup is one of the terrible things that could happen to anyone. Sometime it damages people for sometime and it leads to self destroyal. It takes time to heal and move on unless you were in a relationship with an annoying person, then you are like "Yayyyyyy! I'm finally freeeeee" lol.

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    • That's so nice of you to think that way. I think it'll be better if he concentrates on his studies as of now πŸ˜‚.

    • Lol! True. I agree :) That's why I said eventually :p

  • I really don't care now.
    Break up is finally good when one of the two persons don't love anymore the other.
    I think i won't lose my time. I can be with someone else. Now i really think a new part of my life will start.

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  • Well missy id say yea its good to talk to someone about it but id say someone you really trust cause some people like to take advantage of a females weak moments, so just be careful ig

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    • I giggled when you called me a 'missy' πŸ˜‚
      But, yes, you are right. I remember how people tried to act like they actually understand me and care about me when I was going through breakup and I was very vulnerable.. when we were alone they tried to kiss me! Some even acted like they deeply care and would say things I wanted to hear from my ex boyfriend. It made me feel like I can trust them and they are so close but it turned out they had a motive. They were just playing to get what they want. I just distanced myself from such people. It's scary.

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    • Haha. Both are good :) Good day to you as well!

    • Thank you πŸ˜πŸ˜ŒπŸ‘Œ

  • Unfortunately I have very few ftiends and they all live really far away, so that's not really an option. I try to distract myself with either video games, naps or by practicing my instruments.

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    • I'm sorry to hear that :/ But hey if you ever felt like talking about it with someone. I'm here. :)

    • Why thank you. I appreciate it. I'm actually content now but I'll keep that in mind and give you the same offer.

    • You are welcome. :)

  • Don't think anything makes it better. It's a sad time but usually looking back after you've gotten over it it's for the best. Living a lie helps neither side in the end. But it's tough breaking up especially if you love them. Like greif in some ways.

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    • "Living a lie helps neither side in the end."
      So true. I agree.

  • I've dealt more with rejections then break ups. I always just make a list in my head of all their negative characteristics to make myself believe, "Eh, she wasn't that great."

    Lol

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    • Can I ask, What other things help with rejection? Currently experiencing it

    • LOL. That's a good way to get over someone. Right attitude :)

  • Think about the relationship, think about the wrongs and rights i did, and learn from it

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  • I prefer to just stay busy. I focus on things that make me happy. Things like that just take time to get over.

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    • How long does it usually take you? It takes me 4-6 months to fully move on but keeping myself busy doesn't help me that much :/ I felt that crying and talking about it and indulging in comfort food helps me more.

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    • Ah, I see

    • Yeah eventually you'll wake up feeling better.

  • From my childhood to university life I m free from this burden as I m single. And proud to b single as it seems good to hear dis word 'Single. ' lolzz

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  • You get out an try new things an keep busy an alliw your self time yo heal before dating. Again so you can be your true self with the next nice person

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  • I talk about it, write poems. Drawing takes more time, so nahhh. What I did also was staying away of rebound relationships. Once you brake up you should meditate about all what happened, give yourself a time to heal, instead of instantly liking someone the same year you brake up, then one year later think you are gonna have something serious with that person, only to realize you are in an emotional Spyder web, and that grass wasn't greener on the other side because you went through the wrong hill out of desperation from the fear of feeling alone... Ufff

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    • True. I have been through that where I thought I was actually serious with that person turns out I wasn't. It's just I was really emotional and lost and needed someone to comfirt me.. That's like the most awful feeling ever after realizing what you did.

    • Yeah, my ex fall into that, and she believes is getting serious but our relationship lasted 3 years, and it was meaningful for both, I know for sure is a rebound relation, even though she get to know the guy in person, I think she is to vulnerable to be in a stable relationship. As long as the guy isn't an asshole I am gonna keep calm, the thing is, he seems like one, and I only can wish she will be smart enough to know it.

      I only wish her the best. We stayed as friends.

  • Talking about it helps and staying busy helps but in the end only time itself will heal the wounds.

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  • Keep busy. Time is what helps. Hang out with friends

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  • For me the question won't apply. I have always been single.

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  • i listen to sad songs, lol

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    • Awwwww, I stop listening to songs when I'm going through breakups. Because it reminds me of him and makes me cry harder.. πŸ˜³πŸ™„ haha

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    • Thanks a lot :) and same goes for you too, im always here for you too

    • Awww , thank you. I appreciate it! :)

  • Got a lot other things to bother about than a girl

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    • Yes, exactly. Like trying to decide what should you get mr for my birthday and Rakshabandhan πŸ˜‚

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    • πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

  • Binge listen to Mr. Orbison while crying.

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  • breakdown

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  • I usually talk it over with family.

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  • Sexorcism

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  • Lol.

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    • I'm assuming you never had a relationship. Enjoy the free xpers. ;)

  • Talk with a friend helps

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  • I keep to myself use to immerse myself in my work.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Not well

    Usually withdraw into myself and get super depressed

    My family doesn't like me depressed and avoids the issue so they don't have to hear me whine

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    • But that's so wrong. Avoiding the issue so you feel they won't get annoyed is not right. I have been through a horrible breakup. I know how it feels, but I realized when I avoided talking about it and just sat alone either keeping to myself wondering why did it happen to me? What did I do wrong or sometimes I tried to distract myself by keeping busy.. I thought I'll get over him someday. But it just made me even more depressed and suffocated. Talking about it to someone you trust is very important when it comes coming out of depression and getting over someone.

      I hope you never get your heart broken again but if it ever happens.. Please know that I'm here for you. You can talk to me. I mean it :)

    • I was seeing a therapist from 16 to 23yo.. that helped some... my adopted dad paid for it "so I dont have to listen to you whine about some guy dumping you".

  • Let it out, write down, talk about it and how you feel and then distraction

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  • I surround myself with my friends so I don't have to deal with the memories of him

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  • Channel my brain to stop thinking about them. Pray and exercise mainly

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  • It happens in life so i dont really take it seriously to feel sad for months or something

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  • I quickly try to move on.

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  • I get drunk

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  • talk to a friend, eat ice cream, Netflix.

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