My ex started seeing a guy. I make huge mistake. She contacted me today?

OK so, 4-5 months (I think - roughly) ago me and my ex broke up. I treated her pretty badly, and she had to actually force herself out of the relationship. No cheating, no beating...just downright stupidity

Anyway, for a while I was taking it all well and good, well to be honest the two of us were taking it bad but in a good way. There had always been this "nice guy" floating around (which I knew about) and now, after today, I know they got together a couple of weeks after we broke up. I know for 100% she did not cheat or plan to be with him while we were still an item. It broke her heart, I think it actually her heart more than it broke mine having to break up.

Anyway, rebound springs to mind.

So a week or two just before Xmas there are these other two girls I know of who know my ex too. Unfortunately for me I got friendly with one of them. I think she got the wrong impression. As for me I was just plodding on semi happy trying to get my head straight for the holidays.

So this "girl" and her sister start creating stories from little details my ex would have told them. Quite nasty stuff, and very damaging to a mans head. I ain't talking here light gossip but someone would have got seriously (physically) hurt over these stories. Me being me I bit and went off on one and jumped to conclusions... that was the end of mine and my ex's friendship and any chance of ever reconciling with her again. I extremely broke her heart again by listening to playground gossip.

*** we have this gossip nonsense and why I lost it sorted out, I explained what happened and she understood ***

So today, she pops up on MSN after nothing from her but a merry Xmas text on Xmas night. We shared a lot and she loaned me a few quid ages ago when things were tight. This was the reason for her popping up on MSN.

After about 5 min the chat veered off money and onto her never wanting me back...without me asking by the way, and her being very happy and really liking this guy she is with. So I said "fair play, good, I'm glad you are happy. I don't really give a toss about yer fella as long as you are OK".

She said OK.

I was curious, so I asked "what does give to you that I didn't". I made clear I wanted to know simply because I wanted to know where I went wrong etc. She didn't really have much to say other than "he's a really nice guy. It's none of your business anyway..."

I smiled and laughed and said, we're not arguing or falling out again, it BS and I can't be bothered with that again. I was just asking

So off on a wee chat again we go... I then think to myself "why is she contacting me, why is the reason she contacted me for not being spoke about and why is she telling me she is so happy with her new guy"?

This guy is the absolute opposite of me in every way, I mean, I would never in a million years thought she'd go with someone like that but she is with him and that's that. And of course I care or I wouldn't be here...right?

I wanted us to reconnect some way. So I


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  • You want to reconnect, clean up your act.

    You've proved, over and over and yet again, that you're not ready for her. How do you let random chatter from random people ruin a friendship? If people are trying to screw with your head, you cut them off and send them packing.

    Whatever makes you so cranky or hairtrigger or whatever is going to break every serious relationship you get into until you fix it. It's what painful breakups are for, to warn us to get our act together.

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  • You have the right ideas: pay her back, fix yourself up, let her go, don't push anything. Whatever you did, you're still kind of on speaking terms.

    Priority one should be: don't screw this up. If he's the rebound dude, he'll fall off.

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    • I've said before I would sort myself out...in previous rels. This is the first time EVER I have taken real steps and genuinely forgiven her for dumping me...yes I have to forgive too. And I genuinely believe he's a rebound as after what I did she has NO reason to be in contact and won't take direct debit in other words she's left a connection between us. I won't screw this up. Forgiveness and love is a very powerful means to repair yourself

    • Thanks for your answer

    • Good luck, man. I hope it works out.

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