So my girlfriend and I dated for just about 2 years. we were, in a very serious relationship. I will admit that she is a few years younger than myself and lived a bit of a more sheltered life before college. having already been in college I did my best to expose her t the world she never saw. okay, so back to the story...Just before our two year anniversary, I get the "we need to talk" message. after a tearful conversation, she decided that she wants to take a break. I was fine with it, and very understanding, and have always been understanding with her (its in my nature). I did not contact her at all the next day, however SHE began contacting me. It has been close to year that we've been broken up, but she still contacts me frequently, almost daily. we hooked up once within a few weeks of breaking up, but I understand that's just cause of the intense feelings still there.
Just a few months ago we actually got into a bit of a fight because I confronted her about how she treats me and about the lack of clarity with our breakup. she finally admitted that she wanted to break up with me so that she could be free. she didn't want to hurt me by hooking up with random people at school. That's fine, I respect that and understand that totally. But what hurts me more is the fact that she still contacts me frequently; when she's in bad moods, good moods, bored, lonely, whatever. when she's home, I am the first person she contacts to hang out with. When we are together she laughs, jokes, grabs my arms, give me long hearty hugs. she even sighs at the end of the night when I drop her off after we hang out.
We have talked about it and she says she still loves me and will always love me, and I the same. I just don't know if I can cut contact with her. we are best friends. we each have hooked up with other people since, but we each got jealous when we found out.
I just don't get her sometimes. She wants the perks of the relationship without the relationship, and its slowly killing me inside.
what the heck ladies?
Most Helpful Guy
Listen... YOU HAVE BECOME THE EMOTIONAL TAMPON! You must take a stand, and STOP communicating with her. She KNOWS how you feel about her and she is just wasting your time. She knows you are always going to be there for her and you are understanding. You are the nice reliable guy, and it's working against you. What happens when she finds someone else and tells you, "This just happened". Where will that leave you? More broken than you are now, without her all together, and a front row seat to her new relationship. This is where you are right now. You are her "friend", but hang with her like you were in the relationship you were in, except the intimasy and commitment. If you were to make a move she will say, "whoa whoa there, we are just friends". She will feel "awkward", you will feel stupid, and will still remain confused. You're going to have to stop this, but don't tell her anything. You are going to have to move on, and away from her in order to fully heal. If you keep this up you will fall apart. You are the nice guy, that's about to finish last. She is getting her kicks over it, getting all her "needs" from you met, boosting her ego, and setting you up for more pain. Move on ASAP.0