Girlfriend "cheated" on me with two guys..unsure of what to do now?

hello,

my girlfriend of 1 year hooked up with two guys both of which I know. She did this while she was unsure of how she felt about me. We were also on a pseudo-break. But still she hooked up with two guys during this time period and she doesn't even like doing sexual things. She doesn't really know why she did these things. She is a self destructive person, maybe this is why...but why anybody would be self destructive is beyond me.

Both of these guys had girlfriends.

Do you think she was trying to boost her self-esteem by doing this? Maybe she felt good knowing she could hook up with guys that already have gfs...

What would make a girl do something like this? She told me there that I didn't make her do it...she just said she was a f***ed up, awful person.

Both of these guys ended up liking her and wanted a relationship, but in the end she finally realized how much she liked me and stopped talking to both of these guys.

SO I am staying with her. Is this a mistake? I don't trust her and she knows that. I try not be as good a boyfriend as I was before as she has to earn that back. Let me know!

Updates:
and she cheated on me in September. The relationship was good after...until I found out she cheated on me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't take her back right away. You both need time a part. No contact which is hard to do but you need to figure out if this is right or not. I'm not saying that you should break up or you shouldn't get back together because that's for you to decide. But you do need time away from the situation both of you do. Figure out what went wrong in the relationship because clearly she was unhappy with something otherwise you wouldn't have gone on a break. Find the problem and see if you can fix it together but take at least two or three weeks apart. Its tough to do but honestly the time apart will help you think clearer.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • If she has self destructive tendancies,dont be surprised if she does it again.Its unfortunate but a great probablity.Also,how many relationships do you know of thrive on distrust? You don't trust her and I think that's a major problem.If I were you,i wouldn't continue dating her...because of her own issues and the lack of trust because of it. Anyone who cheats on me...kicked to the curb in a heartbeat.Good luck!

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  • I feel like I really connect with her.. I always had the same issues with my EX boyfriend. For me, I hooked with with guys because I "could" not because I actually "wanted" too, and I realize now it was definitely a self esteem issue.

    I was insecure and always got a rush out of doing things in a self destructive manner.

    Me and my boyfriend broke up and I definitely saw the light.

    It's completely up to you, but I think you'd be better off without her.

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    • yeah I think she did just becuase she could...but what made it easy for her to do it is that she didn't really like me at the time.

  • Ok, reality check. I have been with more than one guy at a time before. It wasn't because I was self destructive it was because it turned me on and I loved it. She says bad things about herself so you will not be angry or hurt about what she has done. She did it, she loved it ,but now she feels like crap about it because it hurt you. If you want to be with her be with her and all her stuff. Accept her and realize she may or may not do things like this again. It actually could enhance your sex life if both of you wouldn't be sensitive about it and be honest with your selves. Besides you said the relationship was good until you found out. Be with her as is or not at all.

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  • NO...RUN!

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  • well that sounds like some strange kind of apology from her.

    if I were you, I'd get her to give me a more apologetic reason for why she did that.

    well good luck

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What Guys Said 6

  • Sounds like she's an immature bitch. Dump her and leave her to the dogs. I'd also go tell those guy's girlfriends what happen dot so they can dump their asses. Hey, maybe if you're lucky you can get a threesome with them :P ha! I kid. You really shouldn't do that. But ya, they don't deserve that pain either.

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  • That's a pretty harsh situation. I personally wouldn't let a woman disrespect me like that, however depending on your situation you may want to stick around with her. And I do agree with your choice of not being as good of a boyfriend to her and making her earn that back. Good luck =)

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  • Hear me out. She cheat with you with not one, but two guys. She said she didn't know why she cheated?That is BS right there. She did it maybe because you weren't good enough or that she could have some fun with two timing( In this case it three timing)you. This is only opinion, so what ever you do is your decision, but remember this your the victim not her.

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  • I just read the title of the article...didnt bother wasting me time reading anything else

    DUMP HER.

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  • just dump the bitch, you don't deserve being cheated on, I don't think any one does... just dump her ass and find someone better, gl

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  • why are you unsure? Be sure of this- she hates you. She doesn't love you. She LOVES how you allow her to run roughshod over you- time to start loving you for you... to hell with this sorry ass bitch... you're better off without her

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