Heartbroken and lost...

Well, I guess I'll start with I was in a long term relationship, almost four years. We were special, so in love. This last year we had a baby...and things started to go sour. Arguments and fights. Then he broke up with me. Saying that he was devastated that he had to make that decision. That was July/2010. I still live in the home with him and our child, and we were intimate up till November/2010. Then I moved out and moved in with my mother. I did all the mistakes in still contacting him and begging for weeks. Then we were civil for our childs sake. We ended up meeting for coffee two weeks ago. I asked him later in a text if he missed me and he said of course, when you left a part of me left too. In another conversation on the phone, he told me that he hasn't packed my things yet. That it made him think I was just visiting my mom and was coming back. I asked him a couple days ago if he wanted to meet for a drink. He said he'd think about it. He then replied with We are broke up and I don't think we'd be moving on if we did. Then he sends me an email saying. "He wants me to let go. That what we had was special and will never be forgotten. But it is over and that I am not moving on and to please start moving on. That we should be civil for our childs sake." I know I sound pathetic. And I know I need to let go. But I guess I just don't get how he would tell me that he didn't pack my thing cause they made him feel like I wasn't gone. Why would he say that if he is over me? Can anyone please help me I am so lost and hurt. I need any and all opinions and advice!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm really sorry that your relationship ended that way.

    Tell him that you think that things can get better.

    point out the reasons why you guys argue, and tell him the reasons why that can be solved.

    ask him if he really did love you, to go see a counselor with you.

    also I think that you two really need to ask the advice of friends and family if the relationship is that meaningful to you both and have hope that things will get better.

    another thing is to remember why you guys fell in love in the first place and to remember that you two are still the same people whom you fell in love with.

    good luck

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  • A lot of times, especially after a long term relationship, both sides become attached and have a hard time letting go of what's normal to them even if they were the ones to end. It doesn't mean that they still want to be with you, it just means that they are so use to you being around that its difficult to transition from their normal lives and move on to something new especially if they have been so use to it for the past couple of years. I think that its best for you to move on and take things as they are. You got a beautiful gift out of the relationship which is your child as well as good memories I'm sure. Don't look at it as an ending but a new start and one more step closer to how your life is meant to be. If he's the one then things will work itself out in the end regardless if you move on. But right now you need to focus on you and your child. You deserve to be happy and with someone who wants to be with you as well.

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  • well I can tell you that I think the reason he told you that he has not packed up your stuff is because he thinks your still there so that you can help him move on...For your child I think its best for yall to get back together but if he don't feel like that's the best way then he's not a good father...so there for just show him that you have his child and start dating and maybe if he sees you dating then he will think that maybe one of the guys that you have become with will be his child father and there for your child will look up to the person you have become dating instead of it real father...so if he sees that maybe he will open up his eyes and tell him that he need to be there for his child!

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