Opinions on my break up?

sigh, don't know where to begin. ex broke up with me. I kept callling...he finally screamed to leave him alone, we will never be together. fast forward a month later...on Thursday, we talked again on the phone. again...screaming, yelling, telling me to leave him alone, he doesn't want me, and this time tells me he is talking to someone else. (I posted a question about this) so we hang up.

an hr later he calls, but I don't answer and he leaves no voicemail. but its eating at me not knowing what he wanted, so I called last night asking him what he wanted and if I don't hear from him I will assume it wasn't important. today, he calls me and we talk for an hour.

he tells me he wants to end things civily, to bet closure for both of us, and that he doestn want to remember me in a bad way. the thing is, everything we said to each we already knew. I basically kept telling me why he doesn't want me, and that we will never be together again. I tell him (crying) that I regret how I treated him, I wish I could change things. how I think of him all the time, but I understand he doestn want me.

we ended the conversation thanking each other for talking and then said bye.my question is...what was the point of him calling me? why not just leave it alone. it kind of has me thinking that it was a test? even tho he was saying he doesn't want to be with me. guys, girls? ever have a situation like this? how did it end up (did you get back togetehr, or never speak again)

Updates:
I just want to add that I'm not calling him and I was not trying to convince him to come back. I was simply telling him how I feel (that I still love him) and he was telling me. I know I need to accept that its over. and I am trying to do that

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He called you, because like he said, he want's the break-up to be civil, don't think its for any other reason. He may not be in love with you but he cares enough that he doesn't want it to be ugly between you.

    It tough and It hurts like hell, your in mourning, but as time goes by the hurt will fade.

    You should stay away from him as much as possible, I mean no contact at all. The more contact you have with him the harder it will be for you. If he tries to get in touch with you, I think you should avoid him, only because it will set you back. Sometimes when couples break-up they stay in touch with each other but I feel that this just delays the whole process of the person that was left, to move forward with there life. You will always be questioning his motives, and hoping that things will change.

    Start doing nice things for yourself, to make you feel better. Go shopping and treat yourself, get a new hair style, exercise a little it always helps when your down. Before you walk out your house make sure you look good, that will also help, go out with your friends, meet new men, these are all things that will help you get over him.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • OH your poor little heart, I feel for you. You have so much love to give you tried and tried to reach out to him. He's not worthy of that soft little heart and those big blue eyes staring at him. I know you want him back, but do you really. Honestly you deserve better.. I know your pain, I'm going through the same but it won't be long when your writing your success story on here. except it won't be under break-up it will be under relationships as in pointers of LOVE !

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What Girls Said 4

  • i disagree with everyone here, but you did the worst thing a girl could ever do! this has happened to me once with this guy, I was so young so I had no idea I was doing the wrong thing! I eventually let him go, and once I did I swear he stalked me for 4 freggin years and kept on begging me to get back with him, he even proposed.. he will always be special to me BUT I don't want a messed up stalker person in my life anyway, so all I did was see him and basically use him, and guess what? he tried to hurt me again by telling me its over looooool, I Don't care because I got over him years ago and I was just messing with him, now he's constantly txting me.. but I won't go down that road again because he's gonna try to hurt me again! I think you should totally ignore him, even if he texts or calls you or even tries to get through to you through a friend IGNORE, IGNORING is the BEST revenge! you are strong, you can get through this! HE ONLY did this because he saw that your all over him, and that's a turn off for a guy! Go out and start dating again, just casual dating, don't jump into anything serious just yet, your not ready for it! Just do the NO CONTACT rule thing and he'll eventually wonder where uve been, what uve been upto and start running after you like a fukin dog! even when that happens, make his balls turn blue before you jump into his arms again! literally

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    • Thank you! I love coming here to get everyones honest answers, but I love it even more when a person agrees with me. I agree, I did the wrong thing by calling and texting so much. I am going to try very very hard not to contact him. everyone keeps saying "if its meant to be, it will be" and I have to keep telling myself that. because I know many times people say its over and they will never come back, but they end up coming back lol. I'm not ready to give up up, but am ready to stop contacting him

    • i know this website is awesome! my 6 year relationship ended 3 months ago, this is an entierly different guy by the way, this guy I'm telling you about actually met my parents and proposed to me! (dont ask what's up with the proposes, lool) but he did, and after that we fought and I decided to move to a diff country, when I did we decided breaking up was the best thing to do! it was the hardest decision of my life I swear, its been 3 months and I know nothing about him! but I think he's just trying to move on

  • It will take time, and maybe a lot of time for you to accept that it's over. It's been over 4 months since my ex broke up with me and I'd say I'm just getting there.. although I still miss him and of course I'd want him back! It's different for everyone though. You have to start thinking about YOU and forget about him (as hard as that will be)

    I think he feels bad because he does still care about you and doesn't want to be on bad terms with you. My ex was the same but I told him to f**k off basically ha ha. We are on non-speaking terms right now. The best thing I can recommend you do is to do no contact - this way you can get over him and also he'll wonder why you aren't talking/responding to him. If he texts/calls you, don't respond. Unless he's begging for you back, don't respond to him.

    In the meantime, focus on you. Do something you've always wanted to do, take up a new hobby, go shopping, meet new people. I wouldn't recommend going into dating straight away as I have read a previous question you asked about comparing others to your ex, it means you aren't ready, I'm in the exact same position as you trust me... You need to re-build yourself, make yourself happy and the old you again and then you can look into dating. There's no harm on going on dates though! Just nothing serious! Message me if you need to :) Good luck.

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  • He doesn't want you to keep calling him. He wants you to know its officially over and to stop calling him. He's moved on and so should you. If he left it alone, he got the feeling you'll be calling him again. Basically you kind of just made yourself sound obsessive over him that he had to call to make sure you know its officially over, so that you can move on. That was his point of calling you. To clearify that everything has ended.

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  • I had a similiar situation, just that I'm was on the other side. I considered the relationship over and I've made up my mind about it. It wasn't easy to come to this decision but once I made it I wanted to go through with it. I still liked the guy, but I just wasn't seeing us going anywhere. And then there was his begging for me to reconsider, trying to change my mind, trying to talk me into staying. Honestly, it was annoying and though I didn't yell at him, I told him to leave it be and face it that it's over.

    I'm trying to say, it's normal, he wants things to end civily, but the way I read it, he wants things to end. Don't try to make him stay against his will, it will only be because he pities you and none of you will be happy with it. Sorry!

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    • thanks for your answer. I'm not trying to make him stay. when we were talking, I was telling him how I feel, but never once asked him to come back, never once asked him to give me another chance. because I know he feels its over. I believe him calling me was a way to hurt me to be honest. I think he knew him being nice would bother me more, and it did as crazy as that is. personally, when I break up with someone, I don't care if its civil or not. y would i? he's an ex. that's y I feel a bit of hope.

    • he did call you to p*ss you off even more, he knew he would only make the scar deeper that way! HE WILL regret it later on, believe me! PLEASE PLEASE don't EVER contact him again, he will only tryy to damage you more, and that's not what you want. delete him off your fb if you have him on there, cut contact completly, don't let him know where you are or what your doing PLEASE! I'm actually begging u, this is the only way you'd ever pop into his head again imagine! even if he doesn't contact u, your on his mind!

    • the sad thing is, I don't know if he is thinking of me in that way. he did tell me that whenever he thinks of me all he feels is anger, and that's not what he wants (hense y he called). problem is, he didn't believe anything I said anyways. I do not plan on contacting him again. but I DO know that it seems his life is going better now that I'm not in his life. he told me he is in culinary school and stuff now. so, y think of the girl that treated you like crap when he now has a great future ahead of him?

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