Should I write my ex a goodbye letter ?

Should I write my ex a goodbye letter ?

im going somewhere and will never see her again

Updates:
this is what one of my friends said

"Oh please don't be all emo again. Geez...it came out of nowhere. "


see what mean, they are better off without me

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Dude, life sucks. We all know it, we all get problems && situations thrown at us, but it's those things that make us who we are. All those trials && tribulations build our character && mold us into the person we are meant to be. If you give in to the whole mess of emotions that you're having, then you'll have gone through everything for nothing. Believe me man, I know where you're comming from because I've been there before. It's tiring to feel so low, alone && trying to find reasons to keep your life or just simply what is worth living for. All of that takes a toll on you && sometimes its unbareable. Now I don't know what your problems are nor do I know what your life has been like, but I do know killing yourself will solve nothing. All suicide is, is a permenat solution for a temporary problem. I don't know where you stand when it comes to God or even if you believe in him, but try calling out to Him. Keep a journal && write to Him how you feel. Write why you're feeling the way you do, how did it start? Write how your day went, did it go the way you wanted it to? Let out your emotions to Him && I can garentee you it will make you feel better. A lot of times people think God left them, when really He's just waiting for you to call.

    "You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all.

    For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." (Isaiah 41:12-13)

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    • not another bible basher...

    • bam STFU... your an ugly ass bitch...you don't insult the bible...you whore

    • Dude calling people names isn't the way to keep them from dissing the bible, it's the reason people still do it.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 32

  • I recommend you call the suicide hotline and talk to someone.If you need the number I can give it to you. Obviously,you are looking for someone to talk to and someone who will listen...thats why you posted on this site. Suicide is selfish.It doesn't solve the problem,only takes yourself out of the equation.Be well.

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  • yes, write her. if she loved you, she'll cherish the letter. the letter will offer some closure to your guy's relationship. maybe one day you'll be back together. but if you don't get the chance, at least the letter will make it so she doesn't hate you. if my boyfriend just upped and left id be pretty mad. you sound like you're being very considerate (which is good).

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  • who cares what they said..they don't sound like a good friend anyway..they don't know how you feel...ive had dark days...but the sun shines again. Keep your head up..it won't always be like this.This too shall pass!

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  • Yes, I think it will offer you the closure you obviously need. So what if you are or aren't emo? Tell your friend to kiss your *** Do what is right for you.

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    • Please send me an email. I would love to talk to you

      gg

  • Hey, you sound suicidal. Do not hurt yourself, kid. You are sensitive, so what? Do you know how many women wish they had an emotional, sensitive lover? You need better friends, don't associate with people who make fun of you being emotional. I party, I have friends but, I'd rather be a loner than associate with people who make fun of me.

    Where were you planning on going? Don't put your ex through problems, be kind, stay alive, and grow. If you need help ever, contact me. I was a depressed kid once, it ain't fun and it was lonely.

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  • Super cute idea! most girls keep sensual letters their entire lives.

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    • yes exactly... she would LOVE a good bye letter when she knows that he killed himself! Hello?

    • well I'm sorry I was on an "advice sight" and not a "suicide hotline" stupid bitch, I didn't read everyones business.

    • i totally get what you are saying to me now. ahahahaha

      i'm sorry, I didn't know people talk about themselves that way on sites..

      especially THIS ONE. I apologize for being crotchity towards you.

      besides he said "going somewhere" so I figured some lds mission or he's moving.

      Suicide is such a terrible thing to even imagine putting yourself through. DON"T write her a letter, that is such a heavy burden placed upon her. I honestly think you need to see a psychiatrist...

  • I think you should get professional help, please don't do anything stupid, however bad you feel now is nothing compared to how your family and friends would feel if you committed suicide, I had a friend who did that and believe me the mess left behind was horrific

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  • ohhh the goodbye letter. I have gotten 3 and have kept all of them. They really do mean a lot, even if its the end of a relationship just saying how much she meant to you will be good and if she helped you get through anything or discover anything. I will never throw out the ones I got. They bring back memories.

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  • why not write her a goodbye letter, if in your heart that is what you want to do then do it, it may help you find closure and move on but even if it doesn't it won't hurt to do it

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    • thanks :)

    • Show All
    • Read his responses, it's not just a goodbye letter, it's a suicide letter that he's planning to write.

    • those responses were not there when I answered his question

  • You're committing suicide!?

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    • lol holy sh*t

    • sorry ikarus...but what is so funny?

    • It's just that. I was reading through the comments, and I thought he said yes to committing suicide. And I don't think that's right. That;s no way of solving problems! Lots of people care D:

  • Nah, not a good idea. She'll get too excited.

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  • You can do it just to be nice but you don't have too :)

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  • Negative! I would honestly like to hear it in person!

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  • Nothing is so bad that you need to kill yourself. Problems will be solved! When you are older you will realize that it wasn't so bad after all! Give yourself some time!

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  • Only if she was really special to you and if she deserves it.

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  • Well if you guys were real close then I would say yeah, just to give your ex some closure. But if you truly love each other then when time permits, yall will be back together...just not right now unfortunately.

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  • I honestly think you should write all of your feelings in one it will let them know how you feel and it makes you feel better that they know how you feel

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  • i think yu should, I would love if my ex wrote me a letter saying goodbye, ... ONLY if yu guys are friend.

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  • if it is a recent ex, go ahead, if you really feel like it. if it is an ex that you haven't been with in a while there is really no reason to, unless it is for you to have closure.

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  • Do however you want. If it will make you feel better, write to her. If it will make things only harder, then I would suggest you save that letter to a girl who will make you happy :)

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  • no.

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  • yes, write her a letter. go for it. since you said you won't see her again. :/

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  • if you were in a relationship for a long time I think you should :)

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  • Where are you going? Believe me when I say this, suicide will cause more trouble for yourself and more pain for everyone else around you. No one on this world is worth your hurting yourself.

    If you are moving, you should tell her in person, and in advance, so it doesn't come as a surprise. Surprise goodbye is never good. Letter should be something extra, something on the side.

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  • Oh Gosh are you really want to suicide? Please DON'T do it, its stupid... who know if she still love you... you'll regret it!

    yeah send her a letter but don't ever try to suicide -__-" respect and be thankful GOD give you a life... you have to face your problem and don't runaway like that way...

    Everything is gonna be okay... I am sure :)

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  • NO ONE is EVER worth killing yourself over. You're under 18 & still have your whole life ahead of you! Don't waste time on people who don't deserve it. If God took someone out of your life it's because there's others coming in. Don't chase after them. Let alone kill yourself over them. Wanting to committee suicide isn't the way out. There's people out there who love you, and the ones who don't love you back is only because their selfish and heartless. Think about your friends and family. Your mother, your father, your little brothers and sisters or nephews and nieces. Wouldn't you want to see them grow up and know what becomes of them? In the end there will always be someone who will need your shoulder to lean on, you can't let them down/ And also people who truly care for you, respect you, and look up to you. Only because of one person, you shouldn't end everything that lies ahead of you.

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  • Kid, I really hope you didn't do anything drastic. Having had a couple of family members commit suicide, I can tell you that it is the most selfish thing you could do! Don't do that to your family and all the people who love you. I don't care how badly you think that they will be better off, they won't. You will traumatize them and they will live with that scar for the rest of their lives. Don't be so selfish! Life gets better! My dad committed suicide 12 years ago and it still pains me.

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    • Agreed. Suicide is ultimately selfish, because the person is so focused on THEMSELF that they are unable to think about anything else, other than feeling sorry for themself. The reality is, if you kill yourself, you are basically going out like an imploding star: you leave a black hole of sadness and depression behind that sucks everyone around you in, too. Suicide doesn't just hurt the person doing it, but EVERYONE who knows that person.

  • DON'T KILL YOURSELF. You're apparently under 18. Things will get better soon, trust me. Whatever you think is so serious right now really isn't that serious. You'll be okay, you just need to stick around and you'll see.

    Seriously. Don't kill yourself. People love you.

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  • You sound sad?...when you say your going "somewhere" and will "never" see her again...your not meaning..going away for good as in suicide or anything right? I really hope not..that would hurt your ex. If you want to write a goodbye letter because your moving away, that would be nice. Follow your heart.

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    • actually yes,

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    • im hurting them more by being here

    • trust me...no your not.. If you wanted to talk my username is danigurl56. Please don't do this.

  • I would write the letter. The fact that you're contemplating it suggests that there's something important you feel like you need to say to her. And there's always a possibility it'll eat you alive if you don't.

    As long as you're 100% OK with the chance that she might not respond or, depending on what you say, might not want to talk to you. I wrote my ex a letter and things were never the same. And in hindsight, I wish I had handled things differently because he was one of my closest friends. Just be completely honest and if she's someone you still want to keep in touch with, make sure you stress that.

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What Guys Said 22

  • You're not going to solve anything by killing yourself. I don't know what you're going through, but believe me, you're not the first person to get depressed. I've been there, and I considered it, too, when I was a teenager. However, I chose not to, because I know that every person has a purpose on this planet, whether they know it or not, and that we all affect everyone around us, in ways we may never know. EVERY life is precious and important; just because you haven't discovered what that is yet doesn't mean it isn't so. And no matter what you think, killing yourself is NOT going to solve anything, not for you or anyone else. You gotta realise, too, that when you're a teenager, everything seems more extreme than it really is, because your hormones blow things out of proportion to reality. I've been through it myself, and pretty much every teenager in history has. It's part of the process. Why do you think so many adults are relieved to not be a teenager anymore? Because we've been there, too, it sucked, and we're just hoping that our kids can get through it, too. If you need someone to talk to, there are hotlines you can call, or you can talk to a teacher, counselor, minister, parent, or any person you trust. Bottom line is, suicide is not the answer. It's an permanent (and overly extreme) solution to a temporary problem. Life gets better...you just gotta hang in there and be patient, okay? :) Hey, if I could do it, you can!

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  • Lol, all the girls say 'Yes' and all the guys say 'No'.

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    • Also, it's my experience that women love letters. I've kept every letter a girl has ever written me. Even if that chapter is closed in your life it still is fun to go back in time and relive the experiences. Letters help you do that, much like photographs.

    • Maybe you should read a bit more carefully: the letter isn't the issue here at all.

    • Maybe you should read the time stamp on this post. I wrote this before he revealed he was suicidal.

  • No, you're taking this out of context. Obviously you've been depressed before, or simply never got over it. You need someone to help you through it, like a counselor or minister, for example. Your friend isn't complaining about YOU at all. Depression takes a toll on not just you, but those around you, too, when they try to console you. Your idea about killing yourself will not solve this. In fact, it'll make things far worse! You will cause other people to possibly be depressed as well, especially your friends and family. Instead, you should be working on beating your depression. There are lots of ways to help with this, too. Exercise, eat well, get plenty of sleep, go out and socialize, have fun, work on something, and (most effective of all) help others! I know it sounds like the last thing you'd want to do, but believe me, when you help someone else, it is healing, because you are no longer focused on your own problems so much. Depression is basically when you focus on yourself and your own problems to the point that you implode emotionally. If you don't stop it, you eventually either try to kill yourself or your body simply shuts down on it's own. As I said, focus OUTWARD and don't think about yourself, or your problems. Shut them out. At least try it for a week, and see if you don't feel better at all.

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  • I agree with the others, time is a ultimate healer. Things will get better, I have to admit the "going somewhere" is a little concerning. Think of things in perspective really take a step back, browse the web look at people with no sight, or terminal illness, and realize how lucky you are.

    Sorry for the lecture (NOT INTENDED).

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  • Don't write some sappy ass ''poor me I'm moving away and we will never see you again" letter. That has loser written all over it. She won't give a rats ass if you leave the country and she never has to see your pimply ass again. Exes won't care if you do. Also exes want nothing to bring back thoughts about you when they supposedly liked you so just drop it. They don't want to remember that they dated you. That is icky to them. In other words, just leave and be on your way. Get on with life and stop being a sap.

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  • obviously all you people telling him to write a letter a f***ing stupid, this kid is talking about killing himself. and all your doing is promoting it and that doesn't help a damn thing. listen kid your a f***ing idiot for wanting to kill yourself, your not the only one that goes through hard times. everyone thinks about it at least once, but than they realize its the dumbest thing a person can do. your not helping anything by killing yourself. your family will be destroyed, and so will your ex. don't be f***ing dumb, and stay tough. suicide is a cowards way out. you don't want to be a coward. and f*** all you people telling him he should.

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    • those people telling him to write the letter didn't know that it was a suicide letter we don't have the power to read minds, read his original question then read down the posts you will see that after he said that nobody told him to write it, do you honestly think anyone would encourage him if they had known, I have seen the devastation that suicide leaves behind and I still live with the guilt

    • I knew what he meant by his original comment, but apparently not everyone picks up on subtle hints like that, so don't blame them for answering what they thought was a simple question. It's frustrating, yes, but swearing at people isn't going to help anything. I'm pretty sure that calling someone names when they're already suicidal is DEFINITELY not helping, no matter what your intention was. I know you meant well, but yelling at him probably only makes things worse.

  • Don't be dumb. You will only hurt everyone more by not being around. Life is long and there is so much to live for. Think optimistically. There are millions of people who have it way way way worse then you. You have it good! You have so much to experience yet. Don't make any irrational decisions you will regret. Happiness will find you soon.

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  • Well... I tend towards the sensitive and emotional side, yet I refuse to be a complete p**** and freak out over a break up. That's life. my ex recently broke up with me because of her parents. an extremely abrupt and cold split. but I ain't dying over it.

    if people around you don't appreciate you for who you are, find another group of people who do. they aren't the only people on earth. you don't need 6billion people who love you to get on with life. I'm not extremely popular, have many close friends or what not. but so what? I've got a long way to go, many more people to love, and much love to receive. your life has just begun. give it a chance.

    look up. there are so many girls out there waiting for ya. don't give up hope just because one girl refused to acknowledge your value. there are at least a hundred girls out there who will. Time to start looking. killing yourself is only going to affirm your pussyness. sheesh.

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  • LOL you wanna kill yourself over a girl?! hahaha. Man up buddy. Stop being a wuss. Get another chick. Get 2. Get 3 infact. Man the f*** up. Getting other chicks will attract your chick back to you. Good luck.

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  • man...one time...i was at a really dark period of my life...and I was really thinking about this one girli missed and I wrote her this long 4 page letter (cuz I really had nothing else to do at the time) and I told her everything and now I regret it so much. I wish I could sneak into her house and destroy the evidence but nope...impossible. I hope she destroyed it tho...

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  • nope

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  • leave it along

    i was listening to the radio today and they said that based on a study from University of AZ each time you contact your ex you get 1% depress and I think its pretty true I get depress when ever I talk to my ex I feel depress caz I do want her back and seeing how she's happy with someone and not with me is just yeah depressing

    it makes you think too much

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  • just let her go

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  • How do you know you will never see her again? They don't call it a small world after all for nothing. I wouldn't bother unless you need closure but that involves possibly getting something in return.

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  • Please comment on this answer, question asker... let me know you decided not to commit suicide...

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  • dont lessen to them! DONT DO IT! your the man and you gotta show her that you don't get heart broken and act normal and just hang out with other finee girls and she will be the one whos gonna make a move and maybe write YOU a letter :)

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  • that all depends do you still talk to her and c her around town and stuff cause if you do I would but if you don't talk to her and e more I would say it is her lose man

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  • IMO depends on how long you dated her/ how close you were.

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  • Nah. Your girlfriend, maybe. But not an ex.

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  • nope... you don't owe your ex anything

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  • I'd write it in two weeks time.

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    • Update: Really what can they say? They hope by saying that you'll put effort into being happy. Maybe they have intimacy issues too. :P

  • I wouldn't if I were you.

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