What does she mean break up, but maybe not the END?

One week ago my ex had come back into the apartment walked up to me with eyes locked in a sweet almost in a strange held back affectionate way. Looked around the room that I just cleaned and had dinner cooking on the stove. With this reluctant smirk on her face she didn't need to say a thing. I knew it was over . We talked about it anyway, we've been threatening space giving for a while, but today was the day.lol.

We have been together everyday since we met for 7 months exactly. We have been turning our life around from our own separate poor choices in the past. I have been 5 years without a relationship since my divorce and she just was 6 months from hers. In the past month our time together was rough always snickering at each other. I started getting jealous and like an idiot started reading her text messages. I made nothing into something constantly. I knew something between us was fading and talking did nothing to help like it did before. Well almost, we could argue a point and always seem to work it out. She always said I was her rock and her best friend. I never really believed the best friend thing. I always seem to get the blunt end of things and everyone else in her life always got her eyes to sparkle and that face to brighten. I loved seeing that but hated that I didn't do that for her. I am defiantly more affectionate both in holding her and beyond. She says its hard for to love back and feels my love. I know she needs to grow. But as of now it is a break up. She started the no contact. After the first three days I whinnied and pleaded and had 5 texts to her one word or so back to me. Well I got to the point after dwelling in and out of my pain talking to many friends and family for my devastated broken heart. Because I LOVE this woman! With all the advise I stopped all contact, so did she. The problem with the no contact is we see each other an hour at a time three days a week with all our knowing friends around. We respect our reason for being there and we don't communicate. We play this game that she had control of for the first week of pretending like we had nothing in the first place. Weirdly it doesn't seem tense. Well the other day after one of these meetings she text me " why did you ignore me,that made me sad"... Excuse me but WTF ! I didn't respond and it has been 24 hours. She's clear she wants the break but when she had the power I was devastated now I have the power and I feel like an ***hole. Just one week remind you. Also I have a lot of my stuff to get from the apartment. But I respect the break up and the no contact. So what do I do about that and everything? by the way she says she loves me and she knows I love her. But so much growth needs to happen for both of us and I am setting up for new changes. But I need to put me first before hooking up again. And I still have a feeling she wants to go in another direction since we could be together now if she wanted. Yes I just heard myself,lol... Is this chic crazy or are we both?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • well, the first thing I'd like to say, and I know people will disagree, but you went through her phone for a reason. I have done it, and so have many others. its a gut feeling sometimes. but, I get that sometimes you find nothing. now, you said that you made nothing into something. I did the EXACT same thing. my reason? I felt that my relationship was too good to be true. that there was NO WAY I could be this happy, things like this don't happen to me. and so, I kept trying to find reasons to prove me right. granted, I DIDNT want to find anything that would prove this guy was cheating or anything like that, but just something was wrong. something HAD to be wrong because, again, things don't go THIS well. so don't beat yourself up.

    i don't agree with no contact. its stupid and its playing games. I know you read my other answer, and I'm gong to say the same thing. people KNOW if they want someone. you, right now, know you love this girl and you want to be with her. she also knows if she loves you and wants to be with you. this is all a power trip thing. lets see who breaks the no contact first, and whoever doesn't break it will be on this power high thinking they now have control over you. BULLSHIT!

    life is to damn short to do this. if you want her, tell her. this is what I would do. I would tell her you would like to talk. if she refuses to talk, then I would write her an email, or write a letter (either handwritten or not) and put it on her front door. I would write or tell her all your feelings. tell her you love her and you don't want this to end. ask her if there was soemthing that you did wrong (if you are unware). tell her everything, what you would need/want from her. if you do, tell her you APPRECIATE her, and that you thank the stars for bringing her to you. and then, tell her you will give her some space if she needs it, but not much. that although you do love her, you will not play games. tell her "your gut is telling you if you love me/want me or not." so just tell me. I would give her a deadline. you need to let her know your not waiting around.

    personally, I think maybe the way I explained how I was feeling, about not deserving happiness and thinking it could happen to me, MAY be what she is feeling. and she may just need to know that you will climb that wall to be with her. so do your best to show her, but if she doesn't come back, then there isn't anything more you can do.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • She asked for space and that's what your doing. Ignore her text, you are not an asshole, she asked for this... it just seems she's having a harder time then she expected with it.

    Do you have to see her three times a week? Is it a work thing? If not, then try to change your schedule so you really have not contact whatsoever.

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    • Dear Bird of paradise, ( cute )

      Thankyou for the advise on the no contact. I know it's a power struggle and when I did ignore her in a nice way I got home and felt proud of my strength because the past week I was in HELL. still feel bad for treating someone I love by making them hurt, that's NOT loving in anyway I look at it...Far as Three times a week we are adults (kinda),lol. We are there to do good not for us but for the person who needs our experiance strength and hope! thankyou :),

    • that's what I'm saying, man the f*** up right stand by your word and you can't fail.

  • I think she just wants a break.

    By the way, I love your profile picture, that was a great movie & book.

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  • I'm only 18 and only read the title, but when girls say that stuff, it's basically a way of saying, I like you, but I want to act single for a little bit.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Shit I put spy programs on peoples computers and look at there phones. We do this for verification and ease. I want to know your not a bullsh*tter. f*** it. I feel like a d*** doing it and I have been caught. But I don't care I explain myself and I don't weenie out and say oh ill never do that a again baby I'm sorry. lol. I said babe I just need confirmation that the girl I feel for isn't a bitch. lol I think you have to learn how to talk to chicks. They play games and the are serious at the same time which make for craziness I know but remember that and you'll be fine.lol maybe not it takes talent too. Balls always help to big balls

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  • I'm going through the same situation later. me and my ex will remain in the same house in late February. after reading your situation is what scares me go through it later. I do not know how I will...

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    • masoul,

      LISTEN to me brother! It is going to hurt, Your probably in the process of pleeding to her and acting foolishly forget about yesterday. Here's what you DO (TODAY) Ignore the relationship infact push her needs away and look into your goals and dreams and START living your life for you. Act like she's just a roomy. Don't get upset with her, or give her advise. Clean yourself up. AND PLEASE do NOT contact her right away if you do split. If you do this NOW she will see what she wants NOW !

    • thanks..I really appreciate what you say bro...

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