He spent 3 years on/off with me as he kept "leaving" his girlfriend to be with me and then changing his mind at last hurdle. Finally about 5 weeks ago I told him that we should part ways as this pattern HAD to end. He broke down in tears, declared his undying love for me and swore we would NEVER be saying goodbye. He broke up with her and she moved out - finally, two days later (his b'day). We started seeing each other freely in the first couple of weeks, I expressing unsurity and him reassuring me - at first, this was such a big jump from what I had known. Since last week he has said he doesn't know what he wants anymore (wth?) so I said maybe it's best we don't see each other next week if he's "confused". He insisted he would call and ask if I would see him. Note - he blew me out on weekend due to some "bad news" he wouldn't say what. I have my suspicions (re "ex"). Despite their sexless and lifeless partnership I suspect he misses the comfort of her (Mummy figure). He is scared to risk us failing and then having no fall-back, and I think I was quite pushy - putting all my insecurity on him rather than stepping back and taking TIME. Long story short - he hasn't called or texted since last week when we spoke about this. QUESTION: He is used to me caving in and eventually contacting him. I have taken the time to work on myself and have had a few aha moments regarding this whole situation, I realize he is not being good to me. How do you think he will feel when he realizes this time, he is not going to hear from me? He said I was his soul mate, he was physically sick at the thought of losing me once before and went CRAZY jealous when he thought I had moved on with someone else. I guess he may just be burying his head in the sand, avoiding dealing with any of this for now, so he may just be relieved I haven't tried to contact him. But it's only been a few days. We've never been longer than 2 weeks out of contact. Then he always comes back. But this time, he won't be hearing from me in between. I'm just curious and have tried to put myself in his shoes but it's difficult to fully understand. Because even if/when he does come back this time, things with me will have changed completely - I'm not into this type of emotional baggage thing anymore! Advice and answers most welcome, thank you.
Most Helpful Girl
Your doing the right thing. No contact. What matters at the end of the day that your relationship is starting out on the wrong foundation. It doesn't have trust, honesty, and respect. What make you think he isn't going to do the same thing to you once he FINALLY decides your what he wants? I'm proud that your taking control and not reaching out. Of course he will freak out that he hasn't heard from you. But your better off with out him I know its easier said than done but sometimes we wonder why men behave this way...well some one once gave me some harsh honest advice. She told me this..."it is because desprate woman like you that men behave like inconsiderate assholes...Woman like you who lack self respect and pride are the ones that let men believe they can walk all over us...You need to take the litte pride and self respect you have left and keep it for yourself and walk away." These words hit me hard not only because they were coming from someone I truly cared about but more because they were true. We allow men to treat us this way and we think we HAVE NO CHOICE but to wait around for them to make up their mind. Honey we are young we are here to choose not to be choosen! We should be making the choices not them! We should be saying yes or no! We allow this type of treatment so it will continue...Its a new year! make a difference in your life! You can totally do it! I'm going through it also! Your not alone.0