Say you met a guy/girl and you are immediately attracted, you go up to them ask for their number and everything. She/he seems amazing, intelligent, sweet and caring and there is just something about this person that really has you intrigued!
The next day you talk to them through text and they keep impressing you! Anyway you ask for their IM and talk to them a lot and still like them.
Anyway a few days later you're hanging out with your friends and tell them about this person you met that you really liked. All of a sudden they tell you they've heard of them and say that this person you are smitten with is a sleaze/player, and you are basically having a sloppy seconds.
The next day you don't know what to think as the rumors seem absurd so you ask the person if its true, they deny it (and they are telling the truth). Soon after you just keep hearing bad rumors about this person from your friends.
You were really smitten at first but now you're not so sure. Would you give them a fair chance and see for yourself who they are since you liked them and its up to you and not you're friends to find out. Or would you instantly change your opinion about them, lose respect for them?
Most Helpful Girl
In your age range, rumors can be sparked not by truth but by a person either disliking you and making stuff up or a person just misunderstanding or disagreeing with something you do. That person then usually influences a group of people. The group consists of either people who don't want to get on that person's bad side or people who find it easier to go with what that person says. Add in all the other people that just actually believe what they hear and you can have a large group of people that seem to independently confirm the rumor.
A short way of putting the above, is one small disagreement with the wrong person and you can end up in a hot mess of B.S.
Now, I see you are looking at what someone believed about you, and how to influence this guy to see things differently. I don't have a lot of advice on how to change his mind. It's not like he is going to read what I have to say and do it. I would say if you ever get in the situation of hearing a rumor and wondering about another person, ask a lot of questions first. Ask the person telling you the story about how they found out, what they personally saw the person do, etc. In other words, dig for factual info and disregard that person's opinion on the behavior.
This guy, even if he did want to get the facts and not just opinions, he may just not be strong enough or interested enough in trying to turn the tide with his friends. This isn't just about him believing differently, he has a support system of friends he values and he would have to convince them as well or risk being ostracized. Not a lot of younger guys and gals want to be on the outs with their friends.
Sorry to hear your situation. Know who you are, own it and feel good about yourself, even if you cannot change this particular guy's opinion.0
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