Is it at all possible that an ex will come back after saying there is no chance?

I'm kind of looking for stories, either your own or someone you know, that have had an ex come back after they seemed to make it clear that they would never be with you again.

my ex has made it very clear (so it seems) that he is happier without me. He has told me that he could never get back with me because he no longer sees the person he fell in love with. He was very calm when he said all this.

Although I know how very unlikely this is, I can't help but have that tiny tiny tiny bit of hope that he will one day come back (cause of how much he did love me when we were together). I am not contacting him, nor has he me. it has been less then a week since he had this very calm conversation with me where he claimed he wanted to end things on a nice note. (not buying that for one bit, he did it to make himself feel better, that's all).

so, if you guys have any stories of you going back to an ex, or they coming to you, or of a friend or family that this happened to you, it would make me feel a lot better (even tho every situation is different) thanks :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • he needs a reality check... don't contact him!

    • thanks. I think so too. don't worry I won't contact him, but its super hard. may I ask what makes you think he needs a reality check?

    • i think so because people start getting these notions over time "i don't cthe person I loved in this girl nemore...i need space... maybe I am missing on something while being in this relationship"... I think most of the times it all temporary (provided your relationship was not all abusive etc)... one day he will realize what crappy reasons he gave you fr breakup... do not worry...

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, I've only told a girl something like that once and I meant it quite seriously, no way in hell I'd go back to her she was nuts. However ex's do get back together all the time so it really depends on why you broke up and how long you are going to be separate from one another before restarting things.

    • we broke up for reasons that I believe are fixable, but that would take a lot of work. he, however, does not think they can be fixed. also, so far its been 2 mths since he broke up with me. 1 week since I last talked to him.

  • I'm more academic so I don't have a story. But I think it's easily possible. The way you feel about something now is not necessarily what you will feel later. Especially in the heat of the moment you can say things you will later regret.


What Girls Said 5

  • I had a similar experience, therefore I hope this can help you a little! So my ex told me he couldn't see us ever working out anymore. Even though I was the one to break up with him, it hurt his ego so he acted like a total jerk and "tried" to turn the tables. Anyway he added that we could stay frends and if I ever needed him I could call him and he was really sweet about it, but I didn't fully believe it. A week later I proved the whole "we can be frends" was all an act. We both attended the same party and he completely ignored me after saying that we could still be frends, so I ignored him back. What I did notice was that he was dirty dancing with another chick. Anyway 2 weeks later he got with her and now they are still going out. To this day, if I bump into him anywhere he still ignores me, so I just don't ever bother with him and ignore him the same way he does to me. Some guys like to play games just to hurt you. If he said there's no chance, its best to believe there isn't, as to avoid your heart being broken. I would say don't contact him still and forget this guy now. Its better to leave things "on a good note " rather than messy. You deserve better, good lukk :)

  • You are lucky that he is telling you "there is no chance" as it makes it easier for you to move on rather than thinking "well, maybe we will get back together in the future" and trust me, that's not a good thought when you're trying to get over someone!

    • lol the problem is, I still think there is that tiny tiny chance. I don't know why, he has made it clear. but I love him so much and I guess its easier and less painful to think there may be that tiny possibilty.

    • You probably think there is a chance because you still love him. And no doubt, he will still love you. However, he's told you that there is no chance, so whether he's "just saying" that or whatever, you have to accept that there is no chance else you are going to get really hurt.

    • i have accepted there is no chance which is why I stopped contacting him. I have to believe what he says and move forward I agree. the hope that I keep, I keep in the back of my mind. I try not to let it surface to often because like you said, it can hurt more. hopefully he comes back, if not, nothing I can do I guess

  • My sister cheated on her boyfriend and he told her that he never get back with her and he did just keep your hope that he will cause you not contacting him might get him to think like I haven't talked to her what is she up to she normally text me and now nothing if he's love for you was real he will contact you love is amazingly strong and it won't let you down I'm hoping you get your happy ending

    • thank u, I hope I get my happy ending as well. it has been 2 mths since we broke up, but only 1 week since he said al this to me. I don't know how long it could take for him to come back, but I'm not giving up my last bit of hope. I'm hoping that after awhile (possibly weeks or even mths) he will maybe realize that although we didn't have the best relationship, we did still have love. and maybe he'll come back. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm hanging on. thank you so much for your answer

    • Show All
    • i pretty much already did that. he said that whatever love he did have for me is gone because of how I treated him. he said that he no longer sees the person he fell in love with and for that reason he knows he can never be with me again. I am hoping that over time, he will realzie that I was and am still that person, just that I made some mistakes (I didn't cheat or anything like that, I just treated him badly and for this I will ALWAYS regret)

    • i know I'm in your shoes as we speak I have a message wriiten up for him that I am scared to send but all we can do is keep the hope we have in our heart and see what happen I got into it with my ex sister and I scared to text him cause he takes her side just do what your heart feels cause I'm scared of mine

  • I'm going through this EXACT same thing right now... we were together for 3 years and we broke up 2 months ago. At first, I thought he just needed some time and space and he will come to realize that we can try to work it out again. Last week I managed to talk to him about just hanging out and seeing what happens (if anything) and he basically told me that he doesn't want to hang out because he knows we aren't right for each other and he knows that he doesn't want to be with me. It hurt a lot for me to hear that because it felt like we were breaking up all over again, but I now realize that it's really over. So I've decided not to contact him again and am now trying to live my life without him in the picture. It's been really hard, and probably will be for quite some time. But a little part of me is still holding out for the fact that maybe he will reach out to me one day...

  • This has never happened to me before.

    Well I had a guy I was dating and he was really into me, then I told him we had to go on a break because he did some stuff I didn't like. After the 1 month break, I asked him to get together again and he said no because he lost all feelings.

    My best friend Tina dated a friend of mine also called S. Anyways Tina's dad didn't like S because he was black and she was greek, so she broke up with him. She dated another guy for a month but it didn't work out because he was going to move away. So she got back with S for a month, then she broke up with S for another caucasion guy from her work place. So I mean, they did get back together but because she cheated on him twice, I don't think they will anymore.

    My friend Em and P dated for about 2 years and then went on a break, but he was always around. She had a few f*** buddies and what not while they were on a few months break. He was always around, as her sugar daddy and also f*** buddy. She didn't like him because he was irresponsible with money and spent too much on it on stupid things like clubbing and alcohol. He didn't really cheat on her and really wanted to be her boyfriend again so he gave her all his money (went straight to her bank account) even though they were technically not together anymore. They ofcourse got back together, and right now are in a "complicated" relationship as it is stated on facebook.

    My friend A and her ex boyfriend T were together for a year and then broke up but they are staying friends. She couldn't stand him never allowing her to go out and have fun, and always snooping on her everything (cell phone bills, texts, facebook messages etc). They are thinking of getting back together, but they are always together since they met. They are broken up but hang out like usual (she goes to his family functions, he goes to hers).

    So if you know the problem, and you guys are super good friends, then I think it is a possibility. If not then maybe you will just be really good friends. It's better to have someone you love in your life then not to have them in your life at all.

    So good luck

    • us being friends is not an option. there is no way I could be in his life, knowing he has other gfs and stuff. and also, I don't think he would even want that anyways. thank you for your answer!

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