Is my live-in boyfriend being shady or am I just f@#!%ing crazy?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, the last two of which we have lived together. He has a three year old daughter that spends every weekend here with us. She lives with her mom during the week because of his job. My boyfriend always picks his daughter up on Fridays and drops her off on Sundays unless it's a holiday because his ex hardly ever drops her off. Yesterday, I got a text from him asking if I had to work that night after I was done with class around 5. I replied, "Yeah. Why?" to which he answered, "Oh, I just wanted to see you." Now that may seem normal to most, but it set off a red flag for me because he is not the "I just wanna see your face" type. Later, after work, I checked his phone which I NEVER do, but this was seriously bothering me. I found messages from his ex asking if he would be home at 5 which were received right before he asked me where I'd be. It was Thursday, his child was not at our house so as far as I see she had no reason to come over at all. There were also messages from her about 2 hours later that said something to the effect of "Never mind, I'm OK." So, I guess she changed her mind about coming. I waited until the morning and asked him again why he'd asked me where I'd be at 5, and, again, he said just because he wanted to see me. I think he's lying and he asked me because he wanted to know where I'd be at 5 when his ex was going to try to come over. Am I crazy or am I right to be concerned? Should I continue to press the issue or let it go?

*Sorry, typo: We've lived together for just the last 2 months of our relationship.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel honesty and communication are the most important things in a relationship. Your gut lead you to check his phone, and your findings breached both. I've been played enough times to know to trust my intuitions. You and you alone know the entire conversation of these text's. Do I feel this fellow is being honest from what you said? No! You need to be able to communicate what you do know, and demand answers though. He may get defensive, but he made this situation a possiblity and you need to know you are not at fault. Trust me, living in a relationship filled with doubts, is harder than living alone. Best of luck in discovering the truth, and being able to deal with it.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • your right to be concerned because I be the same way; but you should ask him about it and it seems to me he might still have feelings for his ex still. if you ask him if he still has feelings for his ex and he gets all nasty about it and say NO! then there is a red flag because he still does and he doesn't want you to know. but tell him he needs to tell you the truth because its not right that he is keeping this from you. you have the right to know because your his girlfriend and you guys been together so long. so if you have anymore questions about this. hit me up with a message and I see what I can tell you what to do. if he gets nasty about then he is hiding something and you need to find out what he is hiding behind your back.

  • sounds like baby mama drama. it also sounds like you are suspicious of his relationship with his ex.

    is she single? you think she won't be coming on to him? you should ask him if he'd ever give her a chance. But the thing is she never came over, and they don't seem to be having a relationship right? You just need to talk to your guy and clear it up.


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