Second/Third chances?

I see a lot of people on here tend to lean toward the "exes are exes for a reason" philosophy, but I don't always agree with them. I think people can change and be able to have a functioning relationship the second/third time around.

It doesn't usually work the next time around if both people haven't improved themselves, and found their own happiness. I have seen couples reconnect successfully, though.

So, I was wondering, is everyone totally against the idea of giving your ex one last chance (second or third, maybe even forth)? What if some time has gone by before you start the relationship again? Would it make a difference to see that your ex has changed for the better?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I definitely agree with 2nd chances. I believe that people make mistakes and I know I would want a second chance. If you're in different places in your life than you were when you broke up, I think its possoble for htings to work out a second time. No relationship is going to be perfect, and everyon'es going to have their problems. Its if you try to fix them that matters.

    But, it also depends on the situation. If they cheated on you or played you multiple times, then I htink no, you shouldn't take them back. I don't believe in unlimited chances. If someone is making a mistake over an over, they're just not changing.

    I would definitely give a second chance most of the time, but past that, I can get a little doubtful.

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What Guys Said 3

  • hey..yeah actually you are right. I don't see any point in that philosophy. If someone asks for a chance then it means he/she wants to make thing better. Relationship is about adjustments and commitment. And the problem is people don't get commited to thing. If needed I'd give as many chances as someone needed in my life, in any relationship, unless I don't get the feeling that he/she doesn't trust me. Because I do trust a lot on people I love and care about. I can maintain that trust even if something goes wrong but sometimes others can't do that. I've been through that so if I don't see that things are going to be alright then I don't drag it. But I'd never say no to anyone who asks me for another chance.

    Take care

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  • They only get ONE chance. I don't care if your god, a celebrity or whomever. I don't stand for that crap or disrespect, if there's a problem then be a women talk to me about.

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  • I'm an avid believer in exes are exes for a reason. At least in my life. If I've found reason not to be with someone the chances are that reason is still there. I have two exes who I'd drop nearly everything to be there for if they needed me, but there's nothing in the world that would change the fact that love just wasn't enough.

    On a side note, I believe some people can grow and change and reconnect.

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What Girls Said 4

  • i honestly believe that love doesn't give limit to the number of chances one should give IF and Only the person decides to change...a preson can change but the only reason someone should consider changing is beause they feel it in their hearts and they want to improve who they are. no one should be pressured to change because pressuring would only make the person want to stay the way dey are even more. I agree with yu on the fact that people can indeed change. people however need to really noticed if their partner has changed and is not just saying it.the best r.ship is the one that suffers to work things out properly and hears one another out

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  • I'm not against it. I think some things take work and practice, especially a long lasting relationship. So of course there's going to be bumps in the road which may lead to breaking up but if two people care about each other enough and want to make things work then there's no reason it shouldn't. Its all about trial and error, you learn from your mistakes and better yourself until you get things right.

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  • I believed your philosophy once and foolishly stayed way too long in a relationship. I thought I could "help" this person, make a difference, have them (ha-ha) see the error of their ways. But most people only see what they want to see. They are good at deluding themselves. All my help did was end up hurting me for a long time and wasting a lot of my time - and I am much older than you. Maya Angelou said, "When a person first shows you who they are, believe them." If they've shown themselves to be a cheater, a liar, a manipulator, than this is who they are. And they will do it to you, and prove themselves to be that person, over and over again. You'll only end up getting hurt in the end. While it is no consolation, or even a very nice thought, just know that they will do it to the next person - and then they'll be alone again. I saw this first hand with my ex. But he - unlike most people - has no conscience so he picks himself back up and does it *again* when what he really ought to do is take a hard look at himself and get help. But if these people can't change for themselves and their own happiness, do you think they'll change for you? I think you know the answer.

    Sorry, I know this is probably not what you want to hear.

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  • I do think that sometimes second chances are the best thing that can happen to a relationship. Things don´t work out as we want them to always, and sometimes, after hard times and a bad break up, asking someone to give another try can give you the chance to show you learned from your mistakes and improve the things that went wrong the first time around. And even if some people say it´s rediculous to ask for a person again and again; sometimes you really have to fight for a relationship, and I think it´s much more rediculous to give up than to fight.

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