I read the boyfriend's emails and he still talks to his ex even though he knows it upsets me?

i've always been suspicious of my boyfriends relationship with his ex and after coming across msg's of them meeting up 6 months ago I've had major trust issues, I finally confronted him and he promised he wouldn't do it within a month he's been on fb chatting to her and sent private e-mails to her that didn't delete properly, I know I'm 100% wrong for reading these emails but I don't trust him and I want to talk to him about it but how can I when I only found out about it because I went through his personal stuff,


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some people are still friends with their exes.

    Like my friend Sean, he and my friend T dated for a bit (maybe 5 months?) and then they broke up and they still talked while she dated someone new, then they dated again for a month, then broke up and she was with someone new but they still hung out. That is because they were friends before hand. Also they hang out with her new fiance and with me and Sean. And at house parties, T and Sean hang out with the same group of people so everyone is there. T, Sean, and her other ex and her new fiance. everyone sort of gets along. She still talks to Sean and they are still good friends. Plus one of her ex fiance's whom she dated for like 5 years before Sean she is best friends with.

    Now if he reassures you that him and his ex will never get back together, and that you have nothing to worry about then you should just let it go. On the other hand, if there are hints that you should be worried that they will get back together and that he loves her still then you should bolt.

    good luck


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Look... if you're in a serious, serious relationship, there is no "personal", especially when it comes to something like this. Hell, most people would never even find out they were being used or cheated on if they didn't check.

    Either way, the fact of the matter is, you told him how you felt, and then he lied and went ahead and did it anyway, and I, personally, wouldn't be able to trust someone after that.


What Girls Said 1

  • I did the same thing in my last relationship, and it was the main reason why things ended. I know it's really hard to keep trust after seeing something like that, but you really shouldn't read his e-mails. Especially if he assures you that she's just a friend. I told my ex that I didn't care if he talked to his friends that were girls, but I asked him not to delete the e-mails. He ended up deleting them anyway, so it just made things worse.

    The first thing to note: you can't make someone change; so you can either accept the fact that he may or may not continue to message his ex, or leave. Have you always had problems trusting past boyfriends? If so, it might not be a bad idea to take a break from the relationship so that you'll have a chance to work on your trust issues.

    If you keep invading his privacy, he's bound to find out and end things, anyway. And also, the more you ask him about not talking to her and the more you tell him you don't trust him, the more you'll push him away. I think it's better to work on yourself first before continuing this relationship. If not, you'll just continue to have this problem in every new relationship that comes along.

    If you don't have trust issues, and you think he's really cheating, then you need to get PROOF before you can confront him. But if you're positive he's with her anyway, it's probably a better idea just to leave the situation. Don't torture yourself. Why would you want to be with a cheater?


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