How do I let go of my failed marriage?

May 2010- I'm sitting in front of my husband at a local restaurant. He wants to take my picture for his phone. I'm sitting next to my 2 year old son. We are having a great time. I get sweet emails each morning at work, because my husband works nights. He says how much he loves me, how he can't live without me, how grateful he is for all the things I do for our family.

June 2010- My husband is caught cheating with another girl in a parking lot. When confronted he says he does like her but "Not enough to leave my wife" and we decide to work on our problems.

July 2010- my husband denounces he is no longer in love with me and he is leaving. He packs his things and walks out.

October 2010- I am diagnosed with cervical cancer. My husband stops being to angry and we stop fighting and try to be friends. I am still very much in love with my husband, I cannot be just friends. We speak everyday, but he spends the night with his girlfriend most nights while I suffer through radiation treatment. I am for the most part alone.

And here I am. Thinking for the last six months my husband was probably coming home. He would tire of the girl and want me back. He would realize because I was sick that he couldn't live without me. Oops..he moved in with his girl, and went on about his business.

When I stopped answering his texts a week ago, he blew up, but the truth is..I cannot be friends with someone who ripped apart my family, broke my heart, destroyed my dreams, and doesn't even appear to feel much remorse for it. The entire time I have thought that eventually he would want to come back, I just had to back off, but that didn't work, I backed off it brought them closer together.

He isn't angry anymore, and until last week we still talked everyday. But now here it is the day I've been dreading our first court date for the divorce. It's here and I'm not ready. I don't want to get divorced. I don't want to lose my husband and break apart my family. But the end is here. How do I deal with this?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Oh babygirl, that is so sad to hear of the role of pain that amounts to a bump to mountain with such a fast outcome. I was divorced in less than a year from big happy family to absolutly nothing practically in the same time frame. I know your pain of the breakup but will not pretend to relate to haveing hope of a serious health issue not be enough to bring back the person that looked at you holding your hand saying " till death do us part."...

    Turn to God , I know what you maybe saying right now, but this is where your heart belongs. This looks difficult and impossiable at this time , I guarentee that much greater good will come from this transition. Your not alone girl, I'm praying for you...

    You look up deal with ( just today) and ask for guidance every step of the way ! GOD has your back... Nothing absolutly NOTHING happens in GOD's world by mistake! NOTHING !

    Everything happens for a reason sweetie! Godbless

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What Girls Said 1

  • WOW. How do I say what I truly think without it hurting you? If you read my post, you will see that I recently broke up with a man who was just out of a marriage, so I know through him, the pain of divorce. He was miserable. He felt like a complete failure, he lost all feelings of self worth and he hated himself...not because HE cheated, but because SHE cheated? How does HE feel guilty and feel failure when it's HER that did the cheating?

    That's what you're doing right now. You don't want to admit that it's best to let him go, because all those future dreams and all those plans that you had for your life are gone. And you don't want to accept that. NOONE DOES. But, the truth is, if he doesn't feel like your marriage is important enough, then you don't need to hold onto it. Going through chemo is hard...and now you are doing it alone AND going through a divorce. You're going to feel like you weren't good enough and no one is going to be able to make you believe that you are worth so much more. You are going to have to work through the heart break and lean on family and friends to help you through it.

    Look, even if the chemo made him feel bad and he came back to you, do you WANT to be with someone that's with you because they feel pity for you? NO!

    I won't pretend that it's gonna be a walk in the park. My BREAK up is killing me and I feel like my soul is being ripped out, so I can only imagine a man you married and had children with. But, you have to love yourself, always, but ESPECIALLY right now with what you're going through. Just pray and be a good mother and you'll make it. You are NOT made of glass and you will NOT break! Good luck!

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