I feel like I cheated on my girlfriend and can't get it out of my head. What do I do?

I had a argument with my girlfriend which ended with her saying this isn't working. I didn't know why she was angry And thought she'd had enough of me as it came from nowhere. I went out with a mate to get my mind off of it and we got really drunk, he tried to set me up with a girl in the pub and I wasn't interested but as the night went on and I got drunker I said stuff it and asked her if she'd like to go out for a drink, she said yes and I gave her my number. It was a 30 second conversation, I did it stupidly to shut my mate up from nagging. The next day I called my girlfriend in an attempt to resolve things and she finally opened up and told me that she was sorry for being off and that she'd taking things out on me because she'd lost a baby a before us and a week ago got an email from a site she'd signed up to stating her baby would be 45 weeks now so she wasn't going to leave me and was just dealing with stuff she was scared to tell me about and now I can't get it out my head what I did to her. I have never cheated on anyone before and I don't know what to do! My male friends say leave it but I can't get it out of my head what I did! I know I messed up and I have never done anything like that before, I was drunk and stupid and angry about the argument but now I feel I've messed up and am scared I'll lose my girlfriend!

My question I guess is should I chance it and tell her in the hope she'll see it for what it was or should I try to forget about it and put it behind me?
It's not small but the place I live is not big either, so not saying anything could prove to be a gamble and there's every chance they may know each other or friends of each other.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You didn't cheat. You did something stupid, and if you really just did it to shut up your friend, then your intentions weren't to cheat either. Yes, it was a mistake, but I don't think its worth it to tell your girlfriend. Learn from the mistake, politely tell the girl that you can't see her if she ends up calling, and move on.

    • I thought about that but a friend said that if she takes it the wrong way she might say something if she see's me out with my girlfriend? It's not a big town.

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    • I really do appreciate your help on this matter and your honest opinions. I apologize if I seem indecisive I am just really struggling with this.

    • No problem. I realize that its hard to know what the best decision would be; that you want to both be honest and avoid hurting anyone, and sometimes those things can be contrary to each other.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I really don't think you cheated, but just tell her you were confused and drunk and you didn't do anything with the other women, and that you will never again do that to her.

    • I have thought about that but I know she'll see the bad only. I can't say she won't forgive me but I'm pretty certain it'll end us :(

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    • Ask her to define cheating for you, ask her what kinds of things she can or cannot tolerate. I don't think it is a lie to tell a loved one that you will try hard to not purposely hurt them, and I don't think it is a lie to tell them that if you do hurt them you will feel really really bad.

    • I get what your saying and I think your right. However I may have to avoid asking her to define cheatingas she has zero tolerance to cheating and if I said that she'd smell a rat in me and assume I have regardless.

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