Letting down a guy who hasn't made a move yet?

There's this guy on my uni course who I'm pretty cure is interesting in me. I think I gave him the wrong impression by dancing with him on my birthday. And now he texts a lot, and keeps dropping little compliments and hinting to take me out. But he hasn't asked me out yet.

The thing is, I don't want to go out with him. How can I make sure he knows this?

I don't want to just plain shoot him down because I have to see him everyday at uni, but I want to make sure he knows I'm not interested in a non-awkward way. Any suggestions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, what "sinful1620" said was sick. A guy's misunderstanding of a woman doesn't give him a license to rape or even the emotional justification to rape, ESPECIALLY SINCE research has shown that men are notoriously bad at misunderstanding women.

    Women are typically good at guessing whether or not a guy is interested. However, guys have the tendency to mistake interest for friendliness and vice versa. Look it up. It's science.

    That said, I've had guys fall for me simply because I said "hi" to him a few times. If you're not interested, just stop being friendly with him. You don't even have to be mean. If he doesn't get the hint, because some of them don't, just say "I think you're nice but I feel we're spending too much time together. I'm interested in someone else".

    If that still doesn't work (and it hasn't worked for me before) just tell the guy flat out that you're not interested in him.

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    • Honestly, the whole "being nice=leading him on" is freaking ridiculous. I'm nice to everyone, male and female alike. I'm nice to senior citizens I'm nice to little kids. I'm nice to professors. Guess I'm out to seduce them all *ROLLS EYES*

      mentally unsound people will even think movie stars are interested in them (remember that crazy woman who thought Letterman was talking to her through the television?

      I guess from now on, every time a random nice guy flirts with me, I have to freak out?

    • Thank you! This is so much more helpful! I'm the same amount of nice to all my other male friends but it's not considered leading them on!

    • I know! I'm sick and tired of guys who try to blame their own problems on women. The hypocrisy is sickening. I've known guys who complain that women are "shallow" for only wanting to date "hot guys" and yet these are the same guys who consistently go for women who are completely out of their league. Guess it's not "shallow" when a guy wants hot women?

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What Guys Said 1

  • So you don't want to tell him you're not interested because you like the attention he gives you because you're leading him on?

    You can tell him now and just be up front, and he'll probably get annoyed but nothing major, and yes, he will stop pursuing you. Or, you can continue leading him on for attention, and in a month or so he will actively hate you for being a bitch, possibly spread rumors, maybe have some psychotic break and rape you, who knows.

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    • And rape me? that's being a bit extreme, don't you think? I'm not intentionally leading him on.

      I'm just being friendly to him, but no more than I am to anyone else. I was just wonering I there was a nice way for him to get I don't want to go out with him without having to awkwardly say it right out.

    • Yes the rape thing was an extreme example, but it's not impossible. And yes, you are intentionally leading him on. Continuing to be "nice" to him knowing that he's interested in you when you aren't interested in him and being unwilling to be honest with him about how you feel is leading him on.

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