Why did he hurt me?

Three years ago I met my first love. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, and first sex partner. Everything about him was attractive from his looks to his personality and everyone loves being around him. But me being the emotionally detached but sexually curious teenager that I was, I instantly wanted to have sex with him with no strings attached. I was always attracted to him from the start, but when we became good friends and I started trusting him, I was sure that he was the guy I wanted to have my virginity. So I told him what I wanted. He told me that he wanted a relationship instead. I never intended for a relationship but I decided to try it. So we got into a relationship. He got very serious very fast. Telling me he loved me and things like that. But I liked him a lot so I reciprocated and I got attached. We had sex. Then he immediately dumped me. Said he didn’t want a relationship but then was dating someone new by the end of that very same week. After that everything changed. He became cruel, manipulative, and terrifying. He spread rumors about me, told my private business, his new girlfriend threatened to fight me constantly, he told his friends I was a whore so I was constantly being harassed by them, and more. He made my life hell. And then he would text me and call me and apologize and be nice to me and walk me home from schoool and have sex with me behind his gfs back and invite me to his family gatherings. It was like he was two different people all at once. Eventually I decided I couldn’t keep letting him use me and hurt me so I cut him off. But I can’t escape him. He’s such a well known popular guy that I can’t avoid mention of him. I hear people talk about how great he’s doing in college, or how he knocked up his girlfriend whom he abuses both physically and verbally, I get terrified. I’m constantly trying to figure out why he did that to me. People tell me he just wanted sex, but I offered him just sex. I can’t comprehend why he did that to me.


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