Slept with me and left?

My ex and I agreed to meet we dated 4 years and its been a long distance for 1 yr. I broke up with him a month ago. We met and immediately he kissed me and we slept together... Also before I met he was really hesitant and said he thought it was a really bad idea.. He said I really hurt him, but he did miss me. After we slept together he would hardly look at me. We talked about surface things and he asked if I wanted to ever come and party where he was from to let him know. He said it had been really hard on him. He seemed really guarded. The next day he said if I ever wanted to talk then I should feel free to talk to him. Later I said I cannot be your friend and if you want to walk away then I am done period. He said that made him really sad.. and hoped I would change my mind? I am so confused! I said no because I felt used and didn't think he was a person I was interested in being friends with ever and wished him well. Did I do the right thing? I definitely CANNOT handle being friends with someone I though I was going to marry! I feel like an idiot!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You felt used? Judging by what you said YOU used HIM. You used him and then you tossed him away once you got what you wanted.

    Just swap positions with him for a moment. You get dumped, then your ex convinces you to meet up, even though you express your concern about the whole thing. You have sex, and then the next day he tells you that he doesn't want you in his life.

    What you did was basically really, really horrible. The fact that YOU feel victimized is icing on the cake. It is best just to never contact him again, rather than continuing to string him along. Just stop torturing him and let him be.

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    • I thought we were going to get back together afterward. We have before. I still love him. I told him that and that I cared about him and also apologized for hurting him. He said "I know." Nothing back. Believe me when I say I broke up with him it was nt because I was being a bitch. I broke up with him because he has serious drug/alcohol abuse and when first dated he was recovering. He has become totally different and kept saying he would make it work. It scares me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • let him go for now and if he comes back and everything is in place then maybe it was destine. for now stay away from him and mark off the days of the calender. stay strong and you will find others. can tell your strong. I would be lucky if I had you as my g.f. you'll pull through because I can tell you will. good luck!

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    • Thank you:) I really appreciate that and ha I was already marking days off! I am going to try and give myself a chance to get strong with out him. I think I have just been hanging around waiting for him to change and think if I can give myself enough time away from him.. I'll prob. will find out that I don't even really like him anymore all he does is bring me down!

What Girls Said 1

  • u need to keep distance now... relationships can get so confusing and bewildering sometimes! I really wish people could be straightforward with what they want...

    of course you did the right thing. you can't be friends with someone till you get over them. I am not saying leave him for good. but give yourself a break... try to get over him... I am sure you can do it!

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    • Thanks babe. I did do the right thing. I feel bad when I feel like I am being "mean," but I am really standing up for myself and my own sanity! lol After reading you guys comments I am sure that I am doing the right thing. People have told me to leave this one alone for along time and if you guys only know this and are telling me the same..obviously I am not right seeing this situation and need time to prove to me that it was an unhealthy relationship. Thanks!

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