How to get a guy to back off nicely?

I'm friends with a guy, but he is obsessed with me. I'm not trying to sound conceited. He just always wants to hang out all the time, always wants to talk when HE wants to, etc. At first I didn't mind the attention, but lately it bothers me, especially since I don't have any feelings for him. He never said he likes me but he acts like he does and my friends think he does. I'm sick of spending so much time with him, he's selfish and childish and his constant demands for attention have really annoyed me. He hasn't gotten anything out of me, but he honestly isn't the most trustworthy person and has used people before.

How do I get him to back off nicely? I'm sick of spending so much time with him, I wish I had never started, but he chased me a lot and it's not like I had a boyfriend (nor do I have one now, that would make it much easier), so I had no real "excuse" not to. Sometimes I also feel like he wants to get with me, and I really don't want to do that either (but I think I've made that part pretty clear). It's not like he's a really sweet warmhearted guy, if he did I probably would just continue enjoying his company. Even though we are friends, I'm just frustrated and sick of his immaturity and want hm to back off. I don't mind being friendly, and since we go to school together I can't just cut him out forever. Advice? The fact that he isn't my boyfriend or guy I'm seeing makes it harder in a way, because he can pull the "but we're just friends so what's the problem" card on me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "He can pull the 'but we're just friends so what's the problem' card on me." I will tell you that if you know what to say, he will not be able to pull that card on you. He could try, but just try and be witty and respond back real quick. All you have to do is be real. Tell him straight up that you like him as a friend, and nothing more. Then when he says, well if we're friends then why is it a big deal, all you have to say is. Yes, we are friends, but we don't need to be all up on each other as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend DAMN. I know this sounds kind of cold, and that you want to be nice about it. And it is kinda cold, but you have to be stern with him. If you aren't he's not going to back off. The only way he will back off is if you show him you really mean it. Guys don't respond to passive tone of voice and action that a lot of girls make. But they do respond really well with aggressive tone of voice and action. Then after you are aggressive with him talk to him passively. This will let him know you are being dead serious, and that you are getting annoyed with his behavior; however, at the same time the passive part will let him know that you wish you didn't have to do that. That you like being friends with him and don't mind hanging out once in a while. Just not all the damn time. He should get the hint that you want him to back off. If this doesn't work, then I guess you're just screwed. haha. nah, but if this doesn't work then there is a good chance that the only way to get him to back off is to be a bitch to him, and have things hopefully work themselves out later.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Have someone tell him that they heard you say that he is too clingy and it is bothering you. Let it come from a third person if you don't have the guts to tell him. If he is b othering your space even if it hurts him he has to stop doing this. It's your life and no one should put up with anything they are not comfortable with.


What Girls Said 1

  • you don't have to spend time with him or anything if you don't want to. use your mouth and speak up. tell him that you are feeling smothered by him and that you don't like him and you only see him as a friend. I think you should be less passive and start speaking up for yourself. he's not even a nice person like you said so stop thinking about his feelings he damn sure isn't worried about yours


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