Have you ever let go of some one you really loved?

My ex and I have been together for about 2 years and have known each other since kindergarden... I really love him with every cell on my body... He loves me too... I just know it... (and everyone knows he does too)...I just don't understand why he won't get a job, take me places, and grow up already... I have spent a lot of time asking him to get a job (so he can take me places), I have been asking him to stop hanging out with that crowd of his that get him in trouble (with him ending behind bars), and I have asked him to be honest to me and here I come to find out about many lies and stuff he has done behind my back... I'm honestly tired... I decided to leave him on the first day of the year (after a bad fight)... and he's been trying to reconcile but yet he still doesn't have job, has been hanging out with that same crowd and he thinks I'm going to return knowing all that.. he's still the same person I left... I have told him what I want and expect but he doesn't get it ... It hurts me to be away from him because I love him but its for my own good... My question here is if anyone has ever been in my shoes... what did you do to make them understand they need to get it together... or should I just keep doing the same thing I have been doing . which is the no contact rule and every time he call I just tell him I don't want to talk to him or I cant... I would love to go back with him I just need him to mature... or to let me go...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • NC will do good for now..but be prepared to talk to him if you can't avoid him..my suggestion is to talk to him tell him regarding what your future would be if he isn't striving hard for his sake, how can he give you a better future with him..it's really hard to change a guy..i've been in that situation before as well..let him see what he is loosing in the process but be open to communicate once in a while but don't commit if he won't change..be his friend for now and see to it that you can at least motivate him..

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What Guys Said 2

  • its easier said than done these days to find a job, support him, maybe his confidence needs a boost, maybe his self esteem is low, and maybe he has given up hope. I have been their, without a job, when I met my ex girlfriend. its not nice knowing you can't give them what they want. I handed my notice in work, not realising my girlfriend would leave me because I couldn't give her a future she wanted. HELP HIM :)

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    • i know its hard ... I just don't see him putting any effort to get one? ... I lost my job not so long ago .. too

  • No but I am in the process of letting her go. I still lover her - my ex. Maturity is not involved with letting go but how to develop a sense of knowing whether or not our love will find meaning. Find meaning in why you love him and maybe you will decided the final outcome of letting go or not.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Definitely! First of all doubts and untrustable and unhappy, disrespectful those are hard to deal with

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  • Im in a similar place to you. I love my ex so much but had to finish him at the begining of the year because he refused to get a job, he lies all the time and I also found out he had been texting and talking online to other girls. I want to be with him but I can't trust him even tho I wish I could.

    I used to speak to him everyday still but it hurt too much I am now doing the no contact rule and I think its helping better.

    You have to decide if you want him back tho. If you don't then stay out of contact. If you do then tell him straight you want him back but only if he gets a job or there's no chance.

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