Boyfriend and "ex" girlfriend flirting?

My boyfriend in a long distance relationship is talking to his ex even though he said he wouldn't. Now I've found out she flirts with him and he responds! I haven't seen him give her any positive answers, but he hasn't told her to stop either. I think they chat pretty frequently.

Should I take this seriously?

I think he likes the attention, but I find it difficult to trust that this is just innocent play, especially considering he told me he hates her, and told me several months ago that he had completely broke off contact with her.

Am I not enough for him?

I have no idea what to do or think...


Most Helpful Girl

  • When someone is hurt my a past love, or is a little bit narcissistic and loves attention, there is nothing better than feeling as though your ex still wants you...some people actually find this part of the recovery process...they can't seem to fully heal until they know the one that hurt them still wants them. Or the one they dumped hasn't fully moved on. It can be a power thing. Everyone wants to know they "still got it".

    Depending on how long ago the relationship ended he COULD still have feelings for her. If you are CERTAIN he isn't initiating the contact than I wouldn't worry so much. My ex has a new girlfriend and contacts me all the time though and I'm pretty certain he's not over me and really loves feeling like I'd take him back.

    When we start a new relationship in life, past relations should be history and it should start with a clean slate. Contacting old flames or responding with anything more than a teaspoon of politeness is always playing with fire. And beware the old "I hate my ex" line. There's a fine line between love and hate so they say. My ex said he hated his ex and that she was a complete psycho. But my oh my when we ran into her his eyes and actions told another story. He's never looked at me like that and a year later I found out that night they hooked up!

    There will be many opinions on here but take each with a grain of salt...only you know the full story. The best thing to do is confront your ex about it and tell him how it makes you feel. If he is not willing to delete her number or sincerely promise to severe contact, it may be time to assess where the relationship is headed.

    That said though there are so many ways to look at it. If I was in a happy relationship now I'd still LOVE my ex to be texting me and flirting because DAMN he hurt me and I want to feel he wants me back. People are strange, human psychology, complex.

    You need to always remember though that although we break up, moving on can actually take a lot longer and when someone was part of our lives for a while and knows us so well, it can be hard to severe contact. But in time he will. As long as you feel he loves you and not her, you probably have nothing to worry about. Best wishes and remember - innnocent until proven guilty! Give him a chance, but if he slips up be kind to yourself and know your boundries and stick to them. xox


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