Is he still in love with his ex?

I spoke to my friend the other day who had told me about some guy she is totally blown away by. She said that she asked him out once she discovered that he was interested in her, he also told her how he felt about her (according to my friend he said that he found her physically attractive, but didn't want to date her because she was too good for him and that he has problems), but having said that he can't go out with her because he has too many problems going on at the moment and has ongoing problems with his ex-girlfriend. Unfortunately, when she told me this, I told her that he must be still in love with his ex-girlfriend. That's why he won't ask her out. Have I advised her wrongly, should she ask him does he still love his ex-girlfriend? Or ask about his ex-girlfriend?


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What Guys Said 2

  • First, no, don't ask his ex... that would be wrong.

    She can ask him if she wants, but the words that will come out of his mouth probably won't reflect reality. It could be that he has real self-esteem issues. Maybe he is broke, indebted. Maybe he still sees his ex-girlfriend on the side. Indeed, maybe he still likes her and isn't over her, and she could be stringing him along for the attention.

    My suggestion is that your friend should not ask him WHY but instead insist on doing it anyway. I mean, maybe even buy the guy lunch (if he is broke), or tell him you don't care about his issues (since she will discover them and judge them later). That she just wants to go out with him regardless.

    Avoid talking about details too much. Just focus on what she wants, and that she doesn't care about his unknown issues.

    Unless his issues are STDs, which she should be conscious of and take things slow physically so that she can be comfortable to discuss this before getting naked with him eventually. And yes, STD are also a serious possibility for that guy.

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    • Her and the guy are on the same level of income, I know that the guy works in the same company as herself, so he should have money! I know that I would confront him if I was her but it ain't. He might be still in love with his ex or yes there might be a possibility that his ex gave him some kind of STD.

  • Those questions need to be addressed

    by those two only. If she took your advice, then she probably doesn't even

    know him well enough to go out with him in the first place. Sounds like

    his interest falls into the friendship category for the moment. Kudos to

    the guy for being upfront and honest with her.

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