Why am I depressed after getting out of a toxic relationship?

I feel like everyone who gets out of a toxic relationship are happy and celebrate and I just got out of one a month ago and I’ve been super depressed and it’s getting so bad that I have no hope in my self. I just want to be dead because my thoughts are getting so bad and taking over me. He broke up with me but he did cheat on me and lied to me so many times for three years. I’m 20 and I just feel so hopeless and useless like no one will ever love me for who I am because clearly I wasn’t good enough for him. I wand him but I know I shouldn’t and I don't know how to move on for good. He was my best friend. When I was in high school my friends all betrayed me one month before graduation and I walked out of there having no one but him. Since then I never made any long term friendships. I tried to go out on a date with someone new and it just didn’t feel right. Every time I come home to a empty house I just lay and cry all night. How can I get out of this? I feel so lonely. I don't know why this is so hard for me I should be celebrating not feeling depressed. I know I depended way too much on him and I hate myself for it. Someone please help😞 any encouraging words would be appreciated

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're depressed because your problem wasn't that you were in a toxic relationship, even though that was a problem. You're depressed because you derive your own happiness from being in a relationship / having someone around. You're not happy. You weren't happy when you were with your ex-boyfriend, he provided you with the excuse to pretend that you were happy.

    The clue to your whole question is that you "feel so hopeless and useless like no one will ever love you". You need to love yourself. It sounds stupid and cliche and impossible but true happiness is something that you find yourself and share with your friends, family and partner. You don't get your happiness from them.

    I don't know what happened in your life or why you're so down on yourself but there's nothing that a stranger online can tell you to fix that. I just hope that you realise your worth someday. Good luck.

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    • I know you are right. I thought I knew my worth but clearly I do not😞... I’m the youngest in my family and they all have their own family now. I always felt left out as a kid and a teen until he came a long I finally felt like someone cared about me. But anyways thank you and your words do help..

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    • I never thought about it like that.. it’s so obvious I need to learn how to love myself, this whole time I thought I did but I don’t. Thank you so much, I’m going to screenshot your post because it’s so true and I need to remind myself of it. I appreciate it.

    • I'm glad to help in any way! I hope you find what you're looking for :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • It takes a while to recover from these things.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Hi dear i know how u feel you loved this guy and did everything and u expected him to do the same and appreciate you and stuff but now that he doest u feel bad about urself and u feel sad and its all normal and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I know its hard to accept this and move on but trust me u are going to feel better soon and someone good who loves you will get into ur life soon

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  • Just give it time. Eventually you'll realize you were better off without him. I ended my toxic relationship but it still hurt a lot knowing everything she did to me and I missed her still. You will heal just stay strong!

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  • That is why it is important to learn self love, before loving others.
    And you must be lonely, trying to find happiness in others, which many do.
    You must learn and care yourself before going towards others in seek of anything.

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    • I know😔 I’m paying for the consequences and it hurts really bad... at the time of meeting him I was only 17 and naive..

    • Its okay😂😂
      Everyone makes mistakes, they loose only when they dont learn from it.

      If you have learnt and realised, try to change your thoughts!
      The only person who can change your life is you. Give that control to nobody else...

    • Thank you

  • Yeah, you should be happy

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