Do I miss my ex? Or am I just getting used to being alone again?

So it's been a month since me and my ex broke up. We were together for a little over two years and I left the relationship. It was a bumpy relationship. The first month was amazing but then, things started to fall apart. One time he told me he didn't trust me, it hurt so much but I bust my ass off to gain his trust. I think about it and think, dumbass. It's not your fault he had trust issues. Even though I never gave him a reason to doubt me, I always wondered if it was a guilt thing for him. I wasn't allowed to talk to other guys, and he wanted to check through messages and apps on my phone.

We argued a lot. He would become cold and mean, and ignore me. This could go on for days. He dumped me twice, and I took him back, twice. Our one year anniversary, he didn't even want to talk to me. He was being horrible. I still don't know what happened to this day or what I did. Whenever I asked him, he said he was "just off". I got over it. As always.

I had a panic attack once. and I messaged him, talking to him helped sometimes. But he was taking a while to respond. And when I asked him what he was doing a couple of days later, he said he was playing video games. I felt so hurt. I went to him for help and he barely cared. He always told me he loved me. And I believe in his own way he did, but he was too stubborn. For two years, I had asked him to change one thing, and that was just his stubbornness and anger. And even though he promised so many times, he didn't.

I asked myself why I stayed, a lot. But in the end, I knew the truth. I held onto the good moments. The moments before the bad. And I still loved him, despite the bad. I guess, in a way I was reinforcing his behaviour because he never lost me. I lost him, but he never lost me. And when I broke up with him, he said more loving words to me than he did in a long time. I cried a lot.

Now one month down the line, why am I thinking of him? or am I just getting used to being single again?

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  • The truth is you are getting over him and you will feel i that for a letter longer but you will fine new friends and you will start having fun again, you see i went through it to but i had tree lovely children to her, but i still got to see them and do things with them. but i still see my x with her new husband but we are still friends that's all, but i know things will only get better for you believe me. there is one thing you will never for get him because some one is going to bring it up from time to time just like we are doing here but don't worry about it things always works out for the best,

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