To break with my husband or to stay?

My husband and I met in 2002. I was 22 and he was 30. He is separated with 1 child. We married after 3 years of relationship and 1 year after the result of annulment has been released. My parents and relatives doesn't like him. Not before marriage and even after it. Everything goes smoothly until this new year. BTW it has been almost 3 years when I started to work abroad. I went home once a year for vacation. It was on my last vacation when we fought over a girl. I saw him chatting with a girl, then he shouted at me then said what are you doing?! I saw the girl and after he logged out I check the history and I saw his comment in her fb, saying your still beautiful. Then during Christmas, he went home alone to his home town without our kids, to attend their reunion. He didn't text me the whole night during the alumni homecoming. I saw their pics in FB with the sme girl we fought over, the caption is, even they have not been together at least even in the pics. Then when he went home, he left at night to pick up a friend at the airport. Our house is 2hrs drive to the airport while that girl is just 15minutes. I was so furious and left a comment in their FB saying the in a very sarcastic yet indirectly how hurt I am. We fought and he deactivated his fb. so many things followed. we agreed to block those people and I asked him to untag their pics. he said he can't find the remove tag and I ask him why I can still see the profile pics of the girl in his fb. it should be blank. Then one evening I confronted him. then I saw him online and that;s the only time, I really see that he blocked them. I asked them for the password of his acct. he didn't give it to me but I managed to hacked his acct. I was so shocked to see his message to that girl in June saying happy 37th b day, then the next one is I miss you too. The latest and which hurt me most is during 21 December he said, can he be her escort in the reunion, the girl said yes and he said OK as long as you you will allow me to sleep with you. then the girl joked saying he is abnormal. I confronted them, both. they both denied it. I as thinking that the reason why he didn't text me is because he was with that girl. I asked for us to broke up and separate ways, he cried saying how much he loves me, and he was just joking with the girl. I cannot trust him anymore. He has been so good to me when we are starting. yet just last year I noticed the changes. that's just when I've learned that he courted the girl in high school but been busted. his text to me when he was there is Don't worry Ma, let them drool over your husband, they busted me then now they are after me. you are the only one I love and I will love for the rest of my life. Please I need an advice. Thanks!


Most Helpful Girl

  • uhh.. I know you will completely disagree with me, but I think you're being a bit overdramatic. none of the stuff you mentioned really is that big of a deal. I mean sure, no one likes it when their husband flirts with another woman, but you have no proof that he has actually done anything. beauty is subjective. its okay if he tells someone theyre beautiful, its just a statement of opinion. saying happy birthday is NO BIG DEAL. AT ALL. everyone says happy birthday to each other through facebook now. and if the next is I miss you TOO, then he's probably just responding to what she said. I know that guys respond to things even if they don't really mean it themselves.

    the only thing that is completely wrong is the sleeping thing though. that is a problem.

    as for the texting thing, I don't expect mine to text me whenever he is out, I just like to know what he's doing but if he's out having fun he doesn't need me to keep checking up on him every 5 minutes.

    id give him another chance. if you find further evidence, update this post.


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What Guys Said 2

  • He lied when you confronted him about the comments? Well, something to hide, guilt is present, he is doing something wrong to you is what he's feeling. What does your intuition tell you, clear up, let your strong emotions clear out and what do you feel happened? Always trust your instincts, don't let your mind feed them 100%. Think but don't create. It could still be bad news.

  • Well, If you are living far away and are only visiting once a year, he is most likely lonely and searching for a connection. Though, you may interact with him through several media (facebook, internet chat, etc.) He will still search for human contact. Long distance relationships are very difficult and it takes very special people to make them work.


What Girls Said 1

  • Divorce is wrong


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