Why do I get sad when thinking about the time my ex and I could spend together?

So I went to the beach with some friends it was fun and was a little scared of seeing my ex. After the trip a friend told me about how my ex texted him about if he wanted to hang out at the beach, and take her there, he thought about telling her that I was there, but after we had that conversation I thought about the fun my ex and I could have together because even if she played with my feelings, and did so much wrong to me, I still want to be with her, and I know this is horribly wrong like I have Stockholm syndrome or something. But I just still like her and even when I’m in school and I don’t want to see her, I look around to see and check if she’s there, and I still think she’s really pretty. And I thought about telling her but I know she would never do it to me so why do it to her.
Why do I get sad when thinking about the time my ex and I could spend together?
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