Is he dumping me? Very confused after first fight?

Hi all, I really need some input as my mind is just going in negative spirals.
Last Saturday, we had a really awful fight; he cancelled on me last minute, and I expressed, calmly, that I didn't know how to respond - we had plans for Saturday night, for Sunday morning, we had plans for the whole weekend, and I understood that he now felt like going dancing with his friends, but that this last minute cancellation felt very hurtful and that we talked about this before, and it made me feel taken for granted. He exploded, and despite me saying multiple times that I did not want to have a heavy talk on the phone, he pushed it into a 2 hour talk, in the end shouting at me that I was losing him.
My suspicion; he emotionally distanced himself already earlier because he can not handle that I need quiet some reassurance to feel safe in a relationship, we have only been dating 3.5 months, and he needed to escalate the situation to justify stepping away for himself. He said he wanted distance, didn't want to plans, we were both exhausted and hung up.
The next day he wrote me in the morning how I was feeling, if I had those bike appointments we were going to, and that he hoped I rested. I replied some hours later that I wasn't ready to communicate because I was confused and tired. The day after he wrote again and asked if I wanted to meet him and talk, and that he sends me love. And when I didn't reply, he wrote that he understands if I don't want to anwser him, and that he was worried about if I was doing ok.

To me, all these messages read like guilt post-dumping me, despite him not having actually said those words during the fight. Am I crazy to think that? I wrote back I still needed a day or two to get grounded. Then yesterday I wrote that I could meet him to talk, he suggested today, that we meet in the cafe we had our first date, cus it 'would be a nice place for a talk'? Who wants a heavy talk in a cafe unless they are already done?
Updates:
5 mo
Hi everyone, thanks for the feedback and the time you put into this. Update: we talked last night, he took responsibility for his mistakes in that fight, so that's a plus. He said he didn't want to break up, that he was falling in love / is in love, and explained why he had felt pressure in certain parts of the relationship due to my insecurities. To be fair; yes, I need a fair amount of reassurance, have super deeply rooted abandonment issues that can complete color reasonable thinking.
5 mo
To continue here: so we talked about what we both need to feel free/safe ( he needs to feel no pressure, I need to feel safe), and that we both want to try to work on our communication. That's all good. I am hopeful, but also nervous.
Cus now that the fear of him leaving is gone, it's replaced with the new fear of things feeling like he is sorta keeping me on arms length right now, and how long will that last? He wanted to change the routine of when we see each other, and that's ok,
Is he dumping me? Very confused after first fight?
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