Break Up. No Contact and Oddness?

My ex boyfriend broke up with me a couple of months ago. I spent a month begging and pleading. Each time he responded he was short or hostile. We didn’t speak again for a week. He then hen asked if we could meet. I said okay. I thought I was ready to hear what he had to say and see him again. long story short, I spoke about a second chance. He said he didn’t feel he was helpful for me as he was in a “self-destructive place”. I went home in tears, heartbroken. Again!

For my own sanity I started no contact. Sent him a message for my own peace of mind recognising and apologising that I had “undervalued our relationship” and left it there.

He replied saying he’d love me forever but I make him so angry sometimes. I didn’t reply. I am not about self inflicted emotional self harm. The following day he messages saying he just wants to cuddle me. He asks if that’s weird. I don’t reply. He asks if we can meet up later (I don’t reply because last time I got hurt) and then he finally apologised for messaging and wishes me well. Im not doing no contact to be spiteful! When we do message it ends up hostile. My emotions are everywhere. Even if I said “I need some space and can’t talk” he’s likely to say how much pain he is in. At the moment it seems like his need to meet and messages are to meet HIS emotional needs and I’m trying to take care of my own little heart! i would love to rekindle this relationship but right now I feel silence and space is necessary.. for me. But do his messages signal that he would be willing to try again? I’ve only been on radio silence for 2 days and didn’t expect this response. I feel maybe he is testing me: if I shout will she still come running like before sort of situation. i need advice from objective folk! We’d been together nearly 5 years and were engaged. We separated as he felt under appreciated (that’s all he said he never expands). So can it be rekindled? I’d like to try after a few weeks maybe. This is my first break up, I’m 27!
Break Up. No Contact and Oddness?
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