I had a miscarriage 2 weeks after we broke up, and I wonder will we always stay connected?

My ex left nearly a month ago out of nowhere. We’d been together for 3 years. We reached a time where we realised that with college being over and us trying to figure our lives out, we needed to break up. We still love each other a lot though.

After a week, I was going out drinking. I didn’t have any idea I was pregnant. I miscarried 2 weeks after the break up and it was quite upsetting.

I met up with him last week and he seemed fine. Like he showed so much excitement for his future, he hid a lot of emotion. He masked how he loved me because we’re both afraid to let our guard down. We were getting on so well, & I decided to tell him. I didn’t want to but he seemed fine so I thought, oh he’ll take this fine too. He was so shocked, he asked me to go seek counselling. I asked him if he’d be okay and he said yes and that I can always talk to him if I need support (even though he’s deleted me off social media so I can’t contact him. He said he’d unblock me so I can reach out but he hasn’t). He even made remarks like “do you think maybe it was a sign” which upset me. A sign we were what, not meant to be? I shared 3 years of my life with this man and I’ve just miscarried his kid. I feel like shit but I masked how I really felt because I didn’t want him to know how much a) I love him and b) how much I’m hurting.

Do you think in the future I’ll have the opportunity to be able to be with him, to talk to him about this kind of thing? Like I wonder will this happening to us making him think and ever want to come back, not out of guilt but because it’s something sad that’s happened & we had a lot between us.

I’d love in our future to reconnect, we haven’t fallen out of love, we just feel this is needed right now. Even if it’s just as friends, like how can we walk away forever when we have this horrible loss? I’m not only going through a break up but I’m going through the loss of our kid, and he just seemed to be so in denial of both the break up & the loss.
I had a miscarriage 2 weeks after we broke up, and I wonder will we always stay connected?
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